Jump to content

Highest Reputation Content

#362621 Quick note to guests and new folks

Posted Speedblazer on 31 July 2014 - 04:34 AM

Well hello all.

I'm new here and have been scoping this forum for a while. So I thought I'd make a account here.

Nice to be here. :smile:

#362006 Has NBC ruined 'Constantine' by straightwashing its protagonist?

Posted Dave on 17 July 2014 - 11:27 PM

View PostLou K, on 17 July 2014 - 04:59 PM, said:

I am bored. I have to get my jollies somehow.

Said John to the fucking dogs face.

By the way, I vote that we rename the forum Bi to Hell

#361967 Has NBC ruined 'Constantine' by straightwashing its protagonist?

Posted JasonT on 17 July 2014 - 09:57 AM

Posted Image

#367294 Swamp Thing

Posted Shawn on 04 December 2014 - 09:31 PM

"a dire visit from John Constantine" ?
What, they compare notes on being poorly written, whilst remembering their salad days at Vertigo? Swampy warns John of the pitfalls of network TV adaptations?

#365219 Quick note to guests and new folks

Posted Speedblazer on 25 October 2014 - 12:28 AM

Didn't know where else to put this sooo here
Posted ImagePosted Image
Me as John Constantine

#365196 Straight to Hell logo competition

Posted Demon Chas08 on 24 October 2014 - 08:22 AM

For both the show and our boy's 30th anniversary next year

Posted Image

#363523 Charlie Halford is CHAS not Chaz

Posted JohnMcMahon on 22 August 2014 - 02:02 PM

What a great interview, he sounds like a top bloke - hope the show works out for him!

And not just because I want to see a monkey stick her finger up Matt's arse in season 3.

#362300 This Is Where It Started (A comic called Hellblazer)

Posted James on 25 July 2014 - 11:31 AM

Oooooh, okay, I'm feeling a bit old-skool nerdy at the minute. Let's give this a go...

Delano era
African hunger 'demon' and voodoo (HB 1); Swamp Thing and all that non-Christian mythology (HB 9-10); ley lines (HB 14-22); pagan gods (HB annual 1); Babylonian god-turned-Hell demon (anything with Nergal); African horror spirit (The Horrorist 1-2); body-swapping magic (HB 32); fuck knows - some kind of crazy psychotic episode/parallel universe ('Sundays are Different', HB 33); weird shit in the human subconscious (HB 25-26); parallel universes (HB 39-40).

Ennis era
Pagan god (The Lord of the Dance, HB 49); vampires (HB 62-63); voodoo (HB 72-75)

Jenkins era
A ghost causing reality to come unstuck (HB 85-88); the Aboriginal Dreamtime and snake god (HB 89-90); a tear in time (HB 91); fairies and British/Arthurian mythology (HB 92-95); ghost dog (literal, not samurai; HB 98); fairies again (HB 99 and loads more); the anthropomorphic personification of football violence (HB 101); the i-ching (HB 102); werewolves (HB 109); more Arthurian stuff, with pseduo ley-lines (HB 110-114); voodoo again (HB 115); British superstition (HB 116-117); reincarnation (HB 118); a psychic episode aboard a doomed plane (HB 199).

Ellis era
A room tainted by the evil deeds committed there (HB 140); an aborted anti-Christ that pisses evil into people's veins (HB 141); all kinds of goofy shit that's just been made up anyway, but I'd love the TV show to have a giant, baby-eating reptilian queen mother (HB 142).

Azzarello era
A vengeful zombie (HB 157); a book that tells the future (HB 163); a human golem (HB 167); fuck knows - giant killer bats or something (HB 170-174).

Carey era
People's souls being used as drugs (HB 175-176); Hindu goddess Kali (HB 177-180); creepy spirits sent by an old English god (HB 182-183); body-swapping magic again (HB 184); Aboriginal ghosts (HB 186); vampire-demon hybrids and de-aging bone magic (HB 187-188); scary dog thing from the garden of Eden (Judeo-Christian-ish, but not really part of an existing mythology; HB 189-193); a man whose body is infested with souls 197-199; fake memories from parallel lives (HB 200).

Diggle era
Humans being possessed for entertainment (HB 234-237); African cannibal magic (HB 238-242).

Issue 250
A suicide spell hidden in the Queen's speech; a factory burning up human human sin creates unexpected fallout; a crazed Egyptologist who wants to commit human sacrifice; a baseball team cursed by a goat.

Milligan era

Living embodiment of human guilt (HB 251-251); Babylonian gods (HB 256-258 and onwards); alchemy (whenever Epiphany's involved)... ugh, bit depressing going through this again so I'll stop here.

There are loads more scenes of general magic use and generic ghost tales, which both exist outside of the Judeo-Christian mythological sphere, but that's still a pretty wide range of stories, and gives some indication of how broad the series can be in its worldbuilding. I'd especially like to see something along the lines of the Sandman/Hellblazer mythos that says belief shapes reality, and that all gods and creation myths are equally valid - even if some are more powerful than others.

Incidentally, if anyone from the production crew wants me to consult, my rates are reasonable negligible.

#350714 So long, John Constantine, we'll miss you

Posted Qusoor on 11 March 2013 - 12:50 AM

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Media Properties.


Yesterday, I picked up Hellblazer #300.   The final issue.

I'm sad.  John Constantine, the archetypal Sweary British Mage, has been a fixture for more than half of my life.  I've got more comics featuring the character than I can comfortably lift.  The most popular section of my website is dedicated to John Constantine. And now he's gone, subsumed into a younger, blander version of himself without any sort of ties to the culture that he grew up in.

That's the John Constantine in the DCUniverse, the new 52.  He's younger and nobs around with Zatanna, the Phantom Stranger, Frankenstein's creature.  But he's not much of a character.  Original John Constantine was rooted in the punk of the 70's and 80's.  He was a member of a spectacularly failed band (Mucous Membrane).  This gave him a center, a starting point.  His disrespect for authority, his iconoclasm and cynicism made perfect sense, because I understood the movement he came from, the zeitgeist from which he was born.  The desperate 70's were his formative years.  

This depth came from the minds of Alan Moore, Steve Bissette, Rick Veitch and John Totleben.  They looked around and created a character that was from their time.  And people responded to John Constantine.  He was something new--a working-class mage.  Until Constantine, comics magic weilders have been remote mages, men with towers, women with witches terrible powers.  John was different.  He was a magical mechanic, not getting involved in the ritual of magic, but doing the necessary things in order to get the desired result.  If the words are the thing, then why not just say them, rather than intoning them?  Was a copper-inlaid pentacle really necessary, or would a quick chalk one on a linoleum floor be just as useful?  This practical approach was unique, stripping away the mysticism and obfuscation, as well as the overblown speeches.  Dr. Strange has all sorts of charms and talismans, the Specter is the Veneance of God, Dr. Fate channels the power of whichever Egyptian god through his helmet, the Phantom Stanger has some strange origin story.  John as none of these.  He wasn't a doctor, a mystic, or Judas.  He was a self-made sorcerer who got into magic as a way to impress the girls.  He came from a poor family, ran away when he was 16.  Never went to college.

As such, he was always an iconoclast, and a smart one.  He has never been a hero, because heroes do the right thing.  John was a ruthless bastard who looked at the big picture and kept his eye on it, often at a personal cost, or to the cost of a friend.  That said, what he did always needed doing.  And after the price was paid, he usually got drunk.  We've even seem him cry a time or two.  Constantine was that small person who moved the wheels of the world because they had to.  Not because they were getting fame or glory.  He was easy to relate to, because he wore his faults and vices on his sleeve.  He smoked, he drank, he cursed. All of these motions and emotions made him human, someone I could relate to.

He changed as different writers wrote him differently.  Jamie Delano's Constantine was very different from Garth Ennis's Irish Rebel, Mike Carey's masterful manipulator.  All these were different and yet recognizeable as the same person.  But there were some authors who didn't get it, who didn't understand the point of planting your feet, and flipping off God, the Devil, and the police simply because it needed to be done.  And ultimately, this was Constantine's downfall.

Because Constantine was a media property.  The media he appeared in was produced on a deadline, and that had to be hit, whether the writer had a good idea or not.  And since the creators weren't willing to write him for more than a decade, the chore had to be passed on to someone else.  And so there were John stories that were from individuals who didn't really understand what he was about.  Certainly the film that used the Constantine name was pretty clueless.  As, sadly, was the last man to write the comic.  But that's what happens when a character is a media property.  

And so one of my favorite favoirte media properties flicks his ciggie into the bushes and heads out for Pubs Unknown.  There's going to be a hole in my life for a while.  But I'll always have those brilliant issues, and when I want, I can open up a box of comics and visit the good old days.

#372355 On which side does sir dress?

Posted TheDevilYouKnow on 11 June 2015 - 05:18 PM

View PostA. Heathen, on 09 June 2015 - 05:09 PM, said:

Posted Image
" draw me like one of your french girls"

#366881 13 only (Production Halted)

Posted Red on 24 November 2014 - 12:01 PM

Well, if we actually get the second season, that's a-OK for me.

#363884 Holy Shit (ACXChan, we're still waiting)

Posted Speedblazer on 06 September 2014 - 04:15 AM

Posted Image

Too vicious

#363225 Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted A. Heathen on 11 August 2014 - 06:53 PM

He's a fucking raccoon from Outer Space!
You criticise his accent and you are trying too hard to not enjoy yourself.

#363020 Hellblazer: Silver Age edition (spoilers, probably)

Posted JasonT on 06 August 2014 - 08:37 AM

Not a dream... not an imaginary story...
"Girlfriends - - and - - THE ODD BOYFRIEND!"

#363017 Soooo about that coat...

Posted A. Heathen on 06 August 2014 - 07:43 AM

View PostTony B., on 06 August 2014 - 07:35 AM, said:

I feel like Constatine wearing my bathrobe.

Constantine and Chas of Earth Bizarro
Posted Image

#362384 Quick note to guests and new folks

Posted A. Heathen on 27 July 2014 - 07:15 AM

Welcome to the world's longest running Hellblazer forum :hattip:

If you post something that fits better in a different thread, we might move it.
So if your post disappears from a thread it's probably been moved to a better one
(unless it's spam or somehow obscene and abusive)
(really, our definition of obscene and abusive is REALLY dark and depraved)

If you register you can always find your posts easily via your profile, by the way)

#362274 What If Peter Milligan had written the comic that inspired a TV series ?

Posted Christian on 24 July 2014 - 11:45 PM

"Comic creator Peter Milligan commits suicide after visiting Hellblazer fan site, Straight to Hell, where fans wised him up to the fact that he really didn't write the perfect John Constantine, as he allowed himself to think for a number of years.
Some fans expressed regret over Milligan's untimely demise. One member named Slinker (may or may not be his real name) seemed to be quite happy, being quoted as saying, "He deserved it, man. He brought it on himself.", and then rambling on about Planet of the Apes for a while at the end of his internet posting."

#361199 Constantine Trailer #1

Posted Gwilym on 18 June 2014 - 11:37 PM

My theory is that the mispronunciation is conscious and in-character because the proper one reminds him too much of Newcastle-upon-Tyne. When people try to correct him, he crumples into screaming PTSD

#355017 The Rules of DCU Constantine

Posted A. Heathen on 22 July 2013 - 08:53 PM

He won't shout SHAZAM

he'll shout BOLLAX !

The bastardry of a Bastard,
The trickery of Orson Welles,
The guile of Loki,
The cheatery of Lance Armstrong,
The artful dodging of the Artful Dodger,
And a kiss for Zatanna.

B.O.L.L.A.X. !!!

#344479 New look!?!

Posted Red on 09 November 2012 - 09:56 AM

Well, your misanthropy is certainly in the spirit of the man this site is dedicated to.