Jump to content
metanoia

Constantine: The Hellblazer Relaunch

Recommended Posts

This feels like we are a cigarette paper thickness away from the Return of the Talking Coat - The Hell-Barbour !!!

 

 

CONSTANTINE: THE HELLBLAZER #3

Written by MING DOYLE and JAMES TYNION IV

Art by VANESA DEL REY

Cover by RILEY ROSSMO

1:25 Variant cover by KEVIN WADA

On sale AUGUST 12 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+

Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the order form for more information.

 

Someone is murdering ghosts, a supernatural crime so impossible to solve that John Constantine is forced to return to London and seek help from the one person he hates more than any other; a magician above reproach, a darling of London high society, and a friend to superheroes everywhere. She is Georgiana Snow…the HECKBLAZER!

 

CON-HB-3-57e3c.jpg

H-He...Heck...blazer...?

tumblr_mzgdkcyMmw1ql5yr7o1_400.gif

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I assumed Heckblazer was a joke, but when i went and searched the true solicit, imagine my surprise when there it was.

 

Goddammit DC, i was just starting to be interested in this book and you go and do something like this. Do this mean that John is going to start going by the moniker "Hellblazer" now too? uggg.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I assumed Heckblazer was a joke, but when i went and searched the true solicit, imagine my surprise when there it was.

 

Goddammit DC, i was just starting to be interested in this book and you go and do something like this. Do this mean that John is going to start going by the moniker "Hellblazer" now too? uggg.

No

 

Just NO

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is what we get for thinking positive. DC hates their Hellblazer fans who have stuck around.

 

I'll still give issue #1 a chance, because I don't want to judge the book based on the solicit for issue #3, but if it's not a damn good read on the first issue, I'm dropping this book before I have to actually read issue #3.

 

The book is titled John Constantine:The Hellblazer, so that was always a bad sign. It signifies that he is, indeed, the Hellblazer, whatever that means.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is what we get for thinking positive. DC hates their Hellblazer fans who have stuck around.

 

I'll still give issue #1 a chance, because I don't want to judge the book based on the solicit for issue #3, but if it's not a damn good read on the first issue, I'm dropping this book before I have to actually read issue #3.

 

The book is titled John Constantine:The Hellblazer, so that was always a bad sign. It signifies that he is, indeed, the Hellblazer, whatever that means.

 

More like hate all who stood by Vertigo as a whole to where they not only stripped the imprint of our boy and the others to render both it and Berger obsolete to where they planted an inferior editor (who participated in our comic's demise) leading books less than stellar.

 

The triumvirate of hackneyed and fail have won and we lost....

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is what we get for thinking positive. DC hates their Hellblazer fans who have stuck around.

 

I'll still give issue #1 a chance, because I don't want to judge the book based on the solicit for issue #3, but if it's not a damn good read on the first issue, I'm dropping this book before I have to actually read issue #3.

 

The book is titled John Constantine:The Hellblazer, so that was always a bad sign. It signifies that he is, indeed, the Hellblazer, whatever that means.

 

More like hate all who stood by Vertigo as a whole to where they not only stripped the imprint of our boy and the others to render both it and Berger obsolete to where they planted an inferior editor (who participated in our comic's demise) leading books less than stellar.

 

The triumvirate of hackneyed and fail have won and we lost....

 

the battle...but we haven't lost the war!

 

I'm still fightin' ,damnit!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Come on, Heckblazer obviously is a joke, and if the term hadn't already been coined to describe his Constantiftytwo makeover, it'd be a funny joke.

 

As it is, I'm sure it's a knowing reference to that very term, and I'm expecting the whole issue to be a heavy-handed allegory for the Nu-52 saga. I mean, they're really rubbing it in our faces with the "friend to superheroes everywhere" part.

 

Even if it's a bit gauche, and the third issue really isn't the best place to do it, I think it bodes pretty well that they're taking the piss out of the rebooted series.

 

As for John being a Hellblazer: Mike Carey had John use the term as a description for 'someone who fucks with magic' in his final issue, which everyone loved. If we didn't blink then, we shouldn't start now. It's a stupid word, but it always was, even when it was just an ambiguous comic book title. Since it was a last-minute replacement for 'Hellraiser,' I always assumed it was a description of John (despite not being descriptive in the slightest).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it was a standalone story, I'd worry less. Since it's part 3 of a multi-parter, I worry this is showing us the tone of the book. It's pretty jarring to put a parody in the middle of a serious story-arc.

The Yuppies satire was in HB #3, although that went with the theme of the series. No, Delano's other stories were not funny, try the opposite. But, we'd see other political commentary like the three-headed fascists too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Come on, Heckblazer obviously is a joke, and if the term hadn't already been coined to describe his Constantiftytwo makeover, it'd be a funny joke.

 

As it is, I'm sure it's a knowing reference to that very term, and I'm expecting the whole issue to be a heavy-handed allegory for the Nu-52 saga. I mean, they're really rubbing it in our faces with the "friend to superheroes everywhere" part.

 

Even if it's a bit gauche, and the third issue really isn't the best place to do it, I think it bodes pretty well that they're taking the piss out of the rebooted series.

 

As for John being a Hellblazer: Mike Carey had John use the term as a description for 'someone who fucks with magic' in his final issue, which everyone loved. If we didn't blink then, we shouldn't start now. It's a stupid word, but it always was, even when it was just an ambiguous comic book title. Since it was a last-minute replacement for 'Hellraiser,' I always assumed it was a description of John (despite not being descriptive in the slightest).

 

That's where i heard it!

 

John was monolouging about Hellblazers...implying it to be a thing and that it doesn't necessarily apply to him only.thanks for the memory jog

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Issue 3 is wayyyy too early for a hilarious parody ish-

Oh.

 

If they'd called this new character Nicola Nacreau it'd have been even funnier.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like the idea of an anti-Constantine, Heckblazer kind of hammers the joke a little too hard but I'm still going to give this a few issues to see how it plays out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's funny in that she refuses to swear.

Although, can any character swear in a DC comic book?

The Hellblazer character, from Morrison's Doom Patrol, was a really funny parody.

It just needs to be a totally over-the-top parody, which is fine as a change of pace story. It's just a matter of how well those first two issues set up a different tone, and how this fits in to what's a multi-part story.

I, personally, don't really want to see a John Constantine series that's completely light in tone, not after having to deal with a horrible Milligan run on HB, followed by a total misfire New 52 Constantine series.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's funny in that she refuses to swear.

Although, can any character swear in a DC comic book?

The Hellblazer character, from Morrison's Doom Patrol, was a really funny parody.

It just needs to be a totally over-the-top parody, which is fine as a change of pace story. It's just a matter of how well those first two issues set up a different tone, and how this fits in to what's a multi-part story.

I, personally, don't really want to see a John Constantine series that's completely light in tone, not after having to deal with a horrible Milligan run on HB, followed by a total misfire New 52 Constantine series.

 

So we're all in the agreement that the New 52 husk was Kipling having a laugh tthe whole time

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

they gon't hate us, they just don't consider us a large enough market. they are broadening the brand's appeal to the lowest common denominator--those who like pretty much anything they take in, and a younger audience that hasn't digested enough quality entertainment so that something so bland and derivative and thoroughly ho hum bland is still interesting enough for them to purchase. i'm afraid this is the way of the world. you don't get stupid rich by trying to appeal to a narrow, high brow, mature niche - barely a sliver of the profit pie you are trying to stick your money maker in. you have to appeal to exponential amounts of dumbfucks who used to not exist. and, 1 of every 6 babies in the US is born with autism, in about 30 years, that might work out to nearly 20% of US consumers will be autistic. that's a large marketshare and will be a dominant demographic. think how bad things will be then! oh woe are we!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess they can just keep trying and trying until they create an audience for John Constantine, but they already failed once trying to make a Constantine for the lowest-common-denominator. New 52 John didn't set the sales charts on fire and got axed.

 

Also, I'm not sure if you actually know what autism is, and those lines were pretty offensive.

 

We live in a world where most of pop culture is geared towards morons, because the majority of humans are mindless followers who have no interest in ever having to think, but the majority of morons have no interest in comic books. Even with all the pretty pictures, comic books still require some reading to actually grasp what's going on in those nice little pictures, so they're far too much like novels.

While some novels like 50 Shades of Gray or The Da Vinci Code are acceptable (every once in a while, to some of the masses), they haven't heard Oprah or Hollywood talk about how great any of these comic books are, so they don't want to risk something being too intelligent. Intelligent things are hard to understand!

So, the point is, DC will probably never find an actual market for John Constantine outside of us suckers who read Hellblazer and keep coming back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess they can just keep trying and trying until they create an audience for John Constantine, but they already failed once trying to make a Constantine for the lowest-common-denominator. New 52 John didn't set the sales charts on fire and got axed.

 

Also, I'm not sure if you actually know what autism is, and those lines were pretty offensive.

 

We live in a world where most of pop culture is geared towards morons, because the majority of humans are mindless followers who have no interest in ever having to think, but the majority of morons have no interest in comic books. Even with all the pretty pictures, comic books still require some reading to actually grasp what's going on in those nice little pictures, so they're far too much like novels.

While some novels like 50 Shades of Gray or The Da Vinci Code are acceptable (every once in a while, to some of the masses), they haven't heard Oprah or Hollywood talk about how great any of these comic books are, so they don't want to risk something being too intelligent. Intelligent things are hard to understand!

So, the point is, DC will probably never find an actual market for John Constantine outside of us suckers who read Hellblazer and keep coming back.

 

They shouldn't have fixed what was never broken and DiDii and co. knew damn well they can't have their cake and eat it too in having John being the go-to gimmick lighting rod for crossovers and pisspoor material

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, it bloody doesn't. Autopilot from page one.

 

 

Climaxing with the long-awaited return of Azarello's casual psychopath.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, it bloody doesn't. Autopilot from page one.

 

 

Climaxing with the long-awaited return of Azarello's casual psychopath.

 

 

Not again!?! SONOFABITCH!!!

 

 

Again, the new jacket still not working for me... At this point, I'd settle for a pea coat than this eyesore and the boots still scream Matt Smith.

 

And since when is Mucous Membrane a fucking duo with this Veronica broad?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I quite liked that.

As mentioned above, it's a part of a story with some context missing.

I don't need to know why John Constantine lied to Katie (yet) but accept that he did so for a reason. Which he stated in this very preview.

Which Azzarello's John did not seem to have.

 

The boots look silly.

HA HA HAH, Constantine is silly !

 

Since when do band posters where there's a lady in the band feature the rest of the band?

 

But seriously, it's a reasonable start.

 

Apart from the boots.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...