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The Pit of Voles

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Not even a week has passed, and already there's five pieces of Constantine fiction at the pit of voles, including one of the most piss-awful poems I've ever read, and this post-movie piece of crap where Balthazar develops a conscience and is sympathetic to Johnny's weepy angst. Of course, this is all under the movie section (snort, Hellblazer hasn't even got its own section under Comics, which just pisses).

 

I haven't the faintest clue why I keep coming back to this site.

 

Thankfully, none are exceedingly long. Any masochists out there, you can laugh and/or cry at them here.

 

MSP_johnsob.gif

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Heheheeh...can you animate that?

 

>_> <_<...

 

Probably! I'll see what I can do with my 1 minute MS paint doodles. Don't know if it'll be finished today, as I have shitload of homework that I've yet to start on. Am quite fond of my mini-Constantines.

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Is this my fate?

 

Hell are you waiting for me?

Satin do you see me standing here.

Are you what my path is leading me too.

Are you my fate?

God have you seen through me, have you passed me by.

Will I see you whe I die or will satin be my guide.

Hell are you what awaits me?

If I repent a thousand times will I go to heaven when I die?

Where will I go?

I will cry my eyes dry and scream for what awaits if hell is my fate.

Forgive me,

you are my savior and I have let you down

but don't send to me to the fires of the underground.

Save me is this my fate?

 

I'm really not so sure I'd be this worried if SATIN was to be my guide after death:

ms628-2628.jpeg

 

:D

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Oh Jesus-Fuck, this stuff is fucking atrocious.

 

"Warning: I took some liberties with John’s character here, so please dun eat me! Oh and of course some slash! "

 

Dammit Akiva!

 

“Hm….Oh yes, the kid who followed him around?” Balthazar raised an eyebrow. “I know they were sleeping together, but…”

 

:icon_cry:

 

"Yeah I’m crying!” John snapped. “This is what I do! I get drunk and I come back here and I cry and I cut myself!”

 

:wub:

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I think I'm in love. The first piece on that site has this for an opening sentence:

 

"The tall dark man walked silently down one of the many back alleys of the City of Angles".

 

 

*EDIT - I realise that pointing out the subliteracy of fanfic writers is a little like laughing at the ocean because it's wet, but some of this stuff really is quite god-defeatingly rubbish. The poem mentioned above is one of the most magnificently terrible things I've ever read, and the Balthazar/Constanteen pseudo-slash McMahon was just on about is a thing of perverse beauty.

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Is this my fate?

 

Hell are you waiting for me?

Satin do you see me standing here.

Are you what my path is leading me too.

Are you my fate?

God have you seen through me, have you passed me by.

Will I see you whe I die or will satin be my guide.

Hell are you what awaits me?

If I repent a thousand times will I go to heaven when I die?

Where will I go?

I will cry my eyes dry and scream for what awaits if hell is my fate.

Forgive me,

you are my savior and I have let you down

but don't send to me to the fires of the underground.

Save me is this my fate?

 

I'm really not so sure I'd be this worried if SATIN was to be my guide after death:

ms628-2628.jpeg

 

:D

 

Maybe the guy who wrote that is from my area. There's a stripper named Satin around where I live.

 

:smile:

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"City of Angles" had me laughing loudly, to the merriment of my office cohabitors.

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I can't see myself ever growing tired of that Barney avatar, John...every day it reveals beautiful new appropriacies.

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Alright, I understand this is fan fiction (something I'm notoriously known for -- did a JASON VS. MICHAEL script in the past that fans ripped me for) but some of these fans need to seriously rethink the material.

 

I read THE WALTZ -- a story that isn't complete but feels like your typical Angels trying to bring Armaggedon about mixed with a few twists (probably the Devil or some demon responsible for the end). It reminds of me of your average sequel. Let's bring this character back and this one, too and what can we do with that?

 

And what it is with these soft Constantine's? Just because he's giving up smoking at the end, doesn't mean that habit isn't coming back or he's not going to have new ones. He may have been saved but he's still going to be a pissed off person.

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