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A. Heathen

Three reasons to see this film

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Guest The Source

Movie News: Nov 11, 2004

 

Warner Brothers has obtained the rights to the Charmin' Toilet Tissue Man and plans to turn it into a blockbuster movie franchise like it's other successful series, Matrix, Harry Potter and the soon to be released Constantine.

 

The phrase "Please don't squeeze the Charmin" spoken by the Charmin man for the past 30 years in countless toilet tissue commercials will soon be blasting out in Dolby 5.1 on movie screen throughout the world. An unnamed Warner Brothers Exec says "The studio is extremely excited about the potential of a character that cherishes toilet tissue above all else. The action and dramatic potential is limitless." No director or writer is attached but sources say the writers for the upcoming Constantine movie are being seriously courted. "After what they did to Constantine we felt they would be perfect for capturing the drama in toilet tissue."

 

aip:10239

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Wow, I'm unable to tell whether you're insulting us or the WB execs!

 

Or why your post is in this thread!

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1. Keanu is in it

2. Good visuals (I think)

3. Scary moments (I think)

4. Keanu's the mainrole

5. Rachel Weisz

6. Tilda Swinton

7. Keanu on magazine covers

8. Peter Stormare

9. Constantine premiere pictures!!

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1. Even in coastal California, February can be a depressing month. It'd be nice to have something (unintentionally) entertaining to watch then.

 

2. I can check out the kind of fool that would turn out for this one.

 

3. If I see it at the right theater and showing (and this is always possible when seeing a bad movie in San Francisco), I can have a good time with other audience members making loud, smartassed remarks and laughing at the "wrong" times. I still fondly remember seeing Godfather III at a neighborhood theater. :happy:

 

4. It might be heartening in a pathetic sort of way to pick out the (pre-doomed) efforts of those in the cast and on the writing, set-making and cinematography teams to get the spirit of Hellblazer right.

 

5. The actor chosen to play Papa Midnite has a better look for the role than any art that I've seen in the book thus far.

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Hm... 3 reasons for Constantine

 

1 Francis Lawrence could be the next david fincher

 

2 I wanna see the work that ESC & Tippett Studios has done on this movie (ESC was the company that the bulk of the VFX work on Matrix 2 & 3, as well as Tippett Studios)

3 I wanna see if the filmcomposer can create a dark unique score (the guy was either nominated or had won an award for best new composer or something)

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1) It'll be nice to see film reviewers say "based on the DC/Vertigo comic 'Hellblazer'" in their reviews.

 

 

I'm not so sure I would Want a shitty movie (should it turn out to be shitty, which it looks like it will) widely and publicly associated with one of my favourite comics.........

 

Yeah but it'll still be weird to see folks like Regis Philbin and Jay Leno mention "Hellblazer" when Keanu does the talk-show circuit.

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Guest spiderlegs

I heard Punisher failed to live up to its comic book predecessor, too. BOTH versions of Punisher (one was made in the '80s with Dolph Lundgren as Frank Castle).

 

So, you have:

 

Judge Dredd

Punisher (both versions)

Catwoman

the last 2 Batmans

any else?

 

As examples of how not to make a movie based off a comic book. The makers of Constantine seem to have gone to the same school...

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I don't think that there is any chance of Constanteen belonging in that list.

 

More like:

 

Tank Girl (poor adaptation but fun film)

Superman 3 (poor idea, but RICHARD PRYOR !)

Mystery Men (wasted opportunity, but very amusing all the same)

Batman (the 1960s one with the camp sidekick)

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Men In Black was ace, but I never read the original comic.

 

I remember thinking that the Tank Girl film was shit before I'd even read the comics. Can't believe Hewlett didn't use Gorillaz's fifteen minutes to get an animated Tank Girl venture off the ground.

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1) Maybe you get off on bitter dissapointment

2) So you can say, "See, I told you so!"

3)So you can shout loud, obnoxious "Bill and Ted" references at the screen.

 

jaynova

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whatever happens with the film we should do a screening where we shout things at the screen and send them a recording for the DVD.

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I thought we were down for a fan's commentary track.

 

Seriously, that would be the best thing ever. And it'd make the studio look like good sports.

 

Go on, bug Ms. Schuler-Donner about it until she snaps and lets us go for it.

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huh? i thought that's when the movie's coming out?!

 

 

<<<EDIT>>>

 

in the cinemas, that is...

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If no one seems to understand

Start your own revolution and cut out the middleman

 

In a perfect world we’d all sing in tune

But this is reality so give me some room

 

So join the struggle while you may

The revolution is just a t-shirt away

Waiting for the great leap forwards

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1) More people will come visit this site and we'll make new friends and spread the true word.

2) A couple of hours in a warm cinema in February saves me spending money on central heating.

3) might find another Hellblazer fan in Donny.

 

Best I can do guys.

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