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lyra

What you've learned from comics

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Everyone speaks English. Even those who lack vocal cords.

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- The good guys never die. If they do, they will return.

 

-Cleanup a disaster (monster, alien attacks, etc.) is easy and fast.

 

-Standard cloth can be used as a costume.

 

-Women's clothes, when torn will always still cover breasts and genitals.

 

-Good always wins over evil.

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That death is only a phase we go through.

 

That people will hate you for being born with superpowers, no matter what you do, even though they'll love you if you receive superpowers after being exposed to radiation.

 

That if I ever want to kill someone, I need to elaborately detail every nuance of my anally influenced plot, which I've concocted in my twisted brain in order to off you.

Shooting someone with a gun, while most likely more workable, is just lazy!

 

Petty revenge or money are lame! If I want to become a villain, I should want to conquer the ENTIRE WORLD if I want to succeed.

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That most superhereo's have better research and development than major world powers.

 

That former nerds and scientists make up a majority of superhero's and villians.

 

That radiation and scientific experiments are something to be embraced not feared. You can gain superpowers from those happy little mistakes not cancer.

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Hell yeah!

That last one is surely the best piece of advice that Lance Armstrong ever took to heart!

 

(oooh....so bad!!!!)

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Your so going to hell.

 

That Gotham has apparently no traffic congestion between Wayne Manor and the city.

 

That Superheroes and villians would rather use their inventions or powers against one another than patent and profit from them. Spiderman could of patented his webbing that he whipped up in his basement the commerical possibilites are limitless. He would have been the poor student trying to support his aunt may and could of operated on a Tony Stark Level of financial security.

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That women can build their chest muscles up like He-Man but still have DDD cup breasts.

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That 110 pound women can get in fights, actually manage to stand up AND fly with DDD cup breasts!

 

That men can also have DDD cup breasts.....

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That most women in the world are lesbians. Thank you vertigo!

 

Also that no matter how gross you become, even to the point of becoming a living peice of earth, attractive women will still fuck you, even without you having money.

 

Oh and costumes attract supermodels. And before i forget one very important thing.

 

WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.

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Unless they're getting the crap kicked out of them, it's normal for people to make witty remarks while fighting.

 

All women, especially if they are thin and are wearing tight outfits, have large, bulging labia.

 

All men, especially very strong ones, have small, lumpy, un-banana-like genitals set higher on their abdomens then you've falsely come to believe is normal from gym class, or looking at yourself or sex partners.

 

All women have large, globe-like breasts, unless they are otherwise unattractive.

 

Short women with hourglass figures don't exist.

 

Adults are almost all close to the same height.

 

Most people have one very similar body type.

 

Guns are very easy to use. People never have accidents with them, and can always make them fire when they want to.

 

When people fire semi or fully automatic weapons, no one ever gets hit in the face by the ejecting brass, or a hot casing inside the shirt.

 

Lesbians always look like fantasy images, unless they are angry and hate men, in which case they are invariably unattractive.

 

Only a very, very few people are gay. And the overwhelming majority of them are women.

 

There's no such thing as a transexual.

 

Even though people are mean to homosexuals, they never stand up for themselves. They need pity and compassion for their plight.

 

You shouldn't use illegal recreational drugs, because when you do, something bad will happen to you almost immediately.

 

Child molesters never win because their victims develop superpowers and kill them.

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All women, especially if they are thin and are wearing tight outfits, have large, bulging labia.

Maybe they're all wearing sanitary towels.

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Alcoholism can be easily cured by stopping sulking.

The more closely an alien resembles a human being, the less likely it is to be evil.

God is a bit of a vindictive swine.

Armed criminal gangs only prevail because nobody stands up to them: it's nothing to do with them having the money and firepower to protect their interests.

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It is entirely possible to break your own neck by twisting it around by the sheer force of your neck muscles.

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All men, especially very strong ones, have small, lumpy, un-banana-like genitals set higher on their abdomens then you've falsely come to believe is normal from gym class, or looking at yourself or sex partners.

 

...

 

Huh? :huh:

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If I really want to crack a case, I'll need to go down to the local warf bar and start beating the crap out of its patrons. They'll even tell me the truth.

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