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Guest spiderlegs

Transformers: More than Meets the Eye

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Guest spiderlegs

The Sector 7 vehicle ( the traveling promo vehicle for the movie--basically a trailer truck with a control room inside) came to our neighborhood over the weekend and showed a 10 minute long scene featuring Scorponok tearing the fuck out of army troops in Qatar. Let me just tell you this: it was bad ass! If the rest of the film is like the scene we saw, it will be a blockbuster. They were also giving out free posters, one with Megatron that says "Destroy" and the other with Prime that says "Protect." The boy has them up in his room.

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Guest spiderlegs

Sam & I got free passes to the screening on Jun 28. That will SO rock, I can scream it at you. He got the old Camaro Bumblebee from the movie today.

 

bumblebee.jpg

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Guest spiderlegs

I have seen the future of summer blockbusters, and it is TRANSFORMERS.

 

It kicked ass. None of you will be too disappointed. Lots of thrills, lots of cheap laughs, incredible special FX, everything you want in a popcorn flick. Our old buddy Shia did a decent job, too.

 

Keith's Comics did some give-aways for answering TRANSFORMERS trivia questions, and my boy, Sam, won the grand prize: Cybertron Primus (still had its $80 price tag on it).

 

There are some on this board who will hate this film, but the majority will dig it.

 

Spiderlegs signing off...

 

Peace.

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At least half-an-hour too long, as seems depressingly obligatory for a modern blockbuster. Still, vastly better than I'd expected it to be - definitely recommended viewing, even if you will be able to feel the last vestiges of your intelligence dribbling slowly out of your ears as you're watching it.

 

Also, Megan Fox makes me think the Bad Thoughts.

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Boll sorry... i try not to think of the idiot... making bad movies is one thing but thinking there gold is like someone sitting in a pile of manure and thinking hey at least it's not diarrhea...

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I wish I had a car like bumble bee. He would beat the shit out of everybody elses cars.. Some times literally.

 

"My car has a navigation system and blah blah."

 

"My car has it's own personality and transforms into a robot. Suck it bitch."

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Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I've never been much of a Transformers fan except for Beast Wars and Beast Machines which I absolutely loved, but not too much to actually check out and enjoy the other adaptions and the original Transformer. But I went to watch the movie tonight and let me just say this was two-sides of awesome! The plot was a bit thin and was lacking, but hell, it was well worth it. The fights were beautiful, Megan Fox was beautiful (heh) and over all this was just a GREAT time.

 

The only thing that ruined the movie experience for me was the random babies here and there crying and making noise and an annoying fan-boy revealing the names of the Autobots and Decepticons before they even truly appeared to make some damage. I wasn't expecting for this movie to be as fun as it was and I never in my right mind ever expected a Tranformers movie to actually be made, but this was truly amazing. And I'm actually saying this about a Michael Bay film, a director I'm never really ever pleased to watch any of his films. Bay was one of the reasons I wasn't hype and didn't expect this to be any good, but I totally recommend this. Everyone in the theater were laughing and having a great time.

 

One again, don't expect for top-notch story. There was a plot, and although it wasn't great, the rest of the movie made it glorious. And once again, let me bring up the hotness that is Megan Fox once again. :laugh:

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What a bloated piece of garbage this movie is.

 

Numerous plot holes, bad acting, poor dialogue, inconsistent characterization, pacing problems, too many plot threads, etc., etc.

 

This is definitely a rental.

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I saw this yesterday. TERRIBLE: editing, writing, acting, continuity, everything, Shia TheBeef, Bumblebee was a Camaro(?)

 

ASS KICKING: John Tuturro, GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER, Peter Cullen, special effects, OG movie/TV show refrences, unintentionally hilarious spots (when OP is talking about how the Transformers remain "watching, waiting" and they're watching the leads make out on Bumblebee, the entire theatre laughed almost).

 

Also, someone needs to buy Megan Fox a sandwich. I read on IMDB that she gained 10 pounds of muscle for this movie due to the physicality of the role. I would hate to see what she looked like before. ~barf~

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Also, someone needs to buy Megan Fox a sandwich. I read on IMDB that she gained 10 pounds of muscle for this movie due to the physicality of the role. I would hate to see what she looked like before. ~barf~

 

I still find that pretty weird because from what I remember, she used to be thicker and seem to have a bit more meat on her so I was surprised to see how thin she was recently, especially after the "ten pounds" she gained for the film.

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What a bloated piece of garbage this movie is.

 

Numerous plot holes, bad acting, poor dialogue, inconsistent characterization, pacing problems, too many plot threads, etc., etc.

 

This is definitely a rental.

 

Wow, you didn't like anything in this movie?

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Aside from the mini-prologue, I liked the first 30 to 45 minutes.

Basically, until the Autobots introduced themselves, I was actually really impressed with how much the film did not suck. Had it continued along in the same manner I would have probably rated it a "B+" but once the studio, screenwriters, producers, and Michael Bay started to shoehorn in silly comedy sequences, inane dialogue, and numerous other eye rolling-inducing elements, my brain, along with Logic, took a holiday.

 

I think the film would've been solid if the robots didn't speak English, the slapstick comedy had been gutted, and about an hour of the film had been edited out. Clearly, the studio heads decreed that everyone must be pleased, and the creatives followed orders--- much to the film's detriment.

 

Megan Fox was less hot than the Australian-high school student-recruited by the NSA-expert signal analyzer.

That nose ring alone gets her 2 points on the hotness scale.

 

The tanning booth must have been blown out by the end of filming 'cause Fox and Shia La-not-so-Bouf were glowing.

 

The action sequences were good, although the last few were head-scratchers in terms of why they were staged where they were (did the Autobots and the Delta Force really think bringing the Cube into heavily populated downtown L.A. was a good idea?). And what about that Cube? How can it be deadly to the robots that want it most? Why didn't the Autobots just destroy it when they got to it before the Decepticons? Why did it only create Decepticons when it electrified inanimate mechanical objects? What happened to the NSA/DoD/S7 team? Who the hell was Sam's friend that accompanied him to the Lake, other than a lame plot device? How dumb is Mikela that she didn't remember Sam from his presentation in school earlier? You know, the one where she stared and laughed at him? How did Megatron know how to speak English if he'd been frozen for decades before the advent of the internet, not to mention most efficient forms of communication? Why didn't Sam tell his parents about the giant robots in his backyard and avoid all the hiding and lying? Where did those two detectives come from, the bad cop cliche school of characters?

 

The answer to all these questions: SHIT

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So, you enjoyed the stuff with the fleshy ones at the beginning, but lost interest when the transforming robots showed up?

 

I hate to say this, dude, but I think you may have gone to see the wrong film...

 

 

("would've been solid if the robots didn't speak English"? Seriously? Perhaps Bay's next film could be a version of Thundercats with all the feline characters' dialogue replaced with cat noises, while we're at it? ;) )

 

 

 

I thought it was a terrible film but a largely enjoyable movie, myself. Utterly, utterly moronic, but consequently a surprisingly-faithful adaptation - anyone with no lingering nostalgic fondness for the franchise probably isn't going to get a great deal out of it, which struck me as an odd creative decision in a film supposedly aimed largely at an audience of modern kids (there's a definite, jarring change of pace and tone when Optimus Prime shows up - for me, that was the point at which an up-to-that-point generic, slow and rather dull blockbuster actually began to be entertaining for reasons unrelated to Megan Fox and the vile, degrading acts I'd cheerfully inflict upon her person, but clearly you felt differently), but if you can disregard that and approach it as someone who grew up watching the Transformers cartoon, you'll probably get a kick out of seeing the whole thing play out with bigger explosions and fancy CG robot FX.

 

I'm not going to even try to defend it objectively (although I think that, while most of them are fair, a couple of your specific criticisms don't quite hold up - for example, the cube being deadly to Transformers should probably cease to be an issue when you remember that as a human, while you're largely made of water and need it to survive, would still drown if a gallon of the stuff were suddenly dumped into your lungs) but I do think you're probably being a little harsh, or at least attempting to judge the film by standards which it was never intended to match.

 

 

Also - Megan Fox is filthy hot.

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And giant robots beating the fuck out of one another. Seriously. How much better can a film get?

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Let me specify further....

 

I liked the first 30--45 minutes, including the robots. The battles in the Quatar were awesome. The robots speaking their own language (with subtitles) worked fine for me. But as soon as the robots started speaking English, beginning with the Autobots' introductions, things fell apart. All of a sudden they weren't the sophisticated, lethal, higher intelligence beings we were led to believe they were. Jazz's introduction alone had my eyeballs rolling out of the theatre. The tone of the movie was perfect up until the intros--- dark, tense, threatening, suspenseful, intriguing. Then it became a Keystone Cops film, then a poorly done procedural, then a ham-fisted romantic comedy, then..... etc.

 

Also, I grew up on Transformers, G.I. Joe, et al so I definitely went into the movie with "nostalgic fondness" but also with low expectations and an open mind. The promising beginning elevated my hopes, the sagging middle dashed them, and the end shat all over them.

 

Lastly, your no-prize explanation for the Cube's deadly effect on Decepticons is so bad I wonder if maybe you ghost wrote the script. I mean, come on, Megatron wanted that thing more than anything else in the universe, and when he got it, it killed him!! That's fucking insipid!

 

Oh, SPOILERS in that above paragraph.

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Megatron wanted that thing more than anything else in the universe, and when he got it, it killed him!! That's fucking insipid!

 

Based on this, I assume you also hate the end of Raiders Of The Lost Ark?

 

 

If they'd suggested at any point that Megatron was planning to shove the cube into his chest unit as soon as he got it (as opposed to, for example, using it to claim Absolute Power Over All The Technology In The Universe), an action which had been clearly established as fatal earlier in the film, you'd have more of a point. As it stands, though, I'm really not sure what your objection is. If it's just that you thought the conclusion was overly-convenient and anticlimactic, I agree - but that's not really what you said. If you think that the ending was somehow illogical, incoherent or insufficiently-explained, though, I think you're a little wide of the mark.

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I thought it was brilliantly entertaining. stupid, yes, but it promised giant robots beating the shit out of each other and hey, that's just what you get. fantastic effects, I actually quite liked Shia, and it had GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER. that equals fun in my book...

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GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER...

Yes, a very good point. More of that and less of the other stuff and I would've been very happy.

Hopefully, someone will do a re-cut a la the "Phantom Edit."

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oh, and anyone who can get me an MP3 of the "Autobots arriving on Earth" theme is a fucking star.

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