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Tony B.

X-Men: The Last Stand

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I got paid to watch it last night at my theatre. My boss had asked me to work that night, dressed up as Wolverine (on account of my sideburns, (lack of) height, and general badass-ed-ness) so that was fun. Really tight pants, flannel, and my old leather jacket ended up looking quite good on me (although I'm not as handsome as Hugh Jackman, but really, who is?) Aaaanyway after I took the drunken mob's tickets (we had about 350 people for two 200-seat auditoriums) I took my seat in the busiest one and got paid to watch this ok movie.


The good: I really liked Vinnie Jones. Even the reference to the "I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch" scene was pretty funny.


There were several scenes of Wolverine simply fucking people up, which is a welcome change for someone like me who is used to the older comics or the cartoons where he never hits anyone with his claws.


Any scene with Jean as the Dark Phoenix. Simply amazing and terrifying.


Iceman finally getting fully iced-up.


Kitty Pride. Ok maybe I just thought she was hot. I'm weird like that. Seriously though, it was kind of sad that she was one of the last six.


Storm actually doing Storm-type stuff and kicking ass all-around.


The teaser ending (both of them, actually).


Bill Duke. He was in Predator. So seeing him again after 20 years made me happy. It had nothing to do with his role or his acting. (Now everyone ceases to read my observations and shakes their heads in dismay.)


I actually really liked Cyclops this time around. Pity he got blowed up so soon.


On that note, we go to the Bad Stuff


The Bad: A lot of the acting. Warren Worthington II. Warren Worthington III. Halle Berry was slightly better than the last few movies, maybe because she lost that wtf accent. The president.


Pyro. Damn that guy's a weiner.


There were so many sub-story lines that each one only got a few minutes (or even seconds) of screen time.


Kelsey Grammer.


Lack of content.


A lot of fundamental stuff that I'm guessing Brett Ratner just missed or downright sucks at doing.


And everything else about this movie. I'm sure I'll think of more stuff when the discussion begins, but that's it for now. Bring on Superman.

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Well heres my review for discussion from the Trailer-thread:


So, saw it today in English, as a pre-premiere together with my elder sister.

Those who payed attention about my X-Men history know that the announcement teaser was the reason why i got hooked up in the X-Men world, which i found ridicolous beforehand, seeing only the ending part in German, without knowing what wass needed not to amuse yourself but really be inspired from in an other view ludicrous occasions in these films.

But after buying and viewing them in their original language and seeing it in good quality, i really got to love them and both are high on my comicbook-films, not that my opinion would be worht much.

I find X 1 an easier film to watch often, but X2 better.

So after this and the other trailer's war-atmosphere i highly awaited it and thought with addition of even more seriousness compared to 1 2 this will be a great film.

After seeing a big handful of clips this anticipation shrinked a lot.

But i still watched it, after dismissing Da Vinci Code.

But because you surely arent interested in all this personal blabla, heres the review:


Like with Vendetta my mood wasnt the best because of time, space, money and video problems.

And of course big lads in front of us, a pain in the ass and talking fuckers behind us made me angry.

Plus only two trailers and we had to wait 10 minutes before anything lighted up on the screen.

After a short time i knew:

This film has again godawful, overpathosed music, like in the first two parts, and i asked myself why they dont attach the broody trailer music.

Why no decent, dark score?

It was also kinda empty though the scenes were fast and flashy, but had no coherence, like you would throw some parts together without caring to link them, although the scenes themselves werent bad, on the other and also not perfect.

Another thing i experienced was that this part has the prettiest cinematography from the three, it just looked super-neat.

And eventually, after Phoenix awoke, the film started to be real good.

Of course, it hasnt had the depth of the second.

True, it also wasnt so action-packed as the first.

Still, the existing action-scenes, and particulary two, were amazing i cannot describe those in words

Phoenix lifting a whole house and subsequently killing Xavier, Magneto carrying a bridge to Alcatraz

I almost yelled out loud "How fkin great was that, i cant believe it Jesus Christ OMG etc", but the crowd was so hooked in and silent, i didnt want to get even more attention after chewing and burping loudly (I really didnt want to but what can you do).

However, its of course not perfect.

Yeah it looks good, includes some superb action scenes, Wolverine and other mutants are cool (Phoenix, Beast in Action mode, Storm, Kitty Pride, Callisto), Magnetos and Xaviers voices chilling, some thrills, some brainfood, little humour, but there were some stupid jokes, a bunch of cheeesy romantic/military/superhero scenes and the president talked like an idiot.

Juggernaut looked devastatingly stupid, but to his luck he was so damn funny in a dum-dum way.

Beasts voice wasnt so cool as i thought.

The flying looked extremely unrealistic.

There could have been more character development or simple just more content.

It was not so deep as i expected, but it wasnt also only easy-going.

Sometimes it was cliched, like how the Brotherhood army was presented in behaviour and looks for instance.

And the extras were shit on a stick.

On the other side it was quite short and i was never bored, after it finished i asked myself "Damn i want more", i thought its far longer, that there is something waiting to see, something left out.

Two times i almost cried.

And it reminded me of some other films.


So the bottom line is, that its not perfect, it has got only a bit from everything, but most of what we see is decent, hence i recommend to see it sometime for those who liked the first two, its like those combined with some substracted material.

There is one scene after the credits, what isnt long but has to be known, so ill say you drop me a PM and i tell you what it is, you dont have to stay the whole credits for it.


But lower your expectations, its a good popcorn movie but not near the geniality of the first two o course.

Barbed all up for SR , S3 and GR.


I was disappointed that Mysthique became a human so quickly, and also that Phoenix, Scott and Xavier passed away (Well, the last one didnt, actually).

I was also very sad that magneto was no mutant anymore.

I nearly laughed out loud when i thought about IMDB-foum discussions where the guessed who will die, maybe Scott, maybe Phoenix or even Xavier, and then they all did

I didnt like the ending, but Magneto playing chess alone in the park saved it for me, earlier it was just too happy.

The danger room is only that one scene we saw.

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Before I say anything more specific, let me be clear: this is not a bad movie. Perfectly pleasant to sit through on a hot summer's day, in fact. It's just that without Bryan Singer's hand to keep the film on course, the end result is underwhelming despite the amped up kick 'splode action that would do The Authority proud (even if Jenny Sparks would roundly kick Magneto's ass not so much for his politics or actions, but for being a piss poor tactician). The fancy pyrotechnics and mass destruction exist to distract one from the script problems, but fortunately for the summer movie viewer, they are very impressive to watch.


All the warnings about the script being written by committee are dead on. There are a lot of competent-to-downright good ideas floating around. A LOT of them, and therein lies the problem. Few of the plots or characters are fleshed out, and the connective tissue tying everything together tends to be on the weak side. In several crucial places, we see the beginning and ending of a plot or character arc without seeing what comes between. A shame, because some of the elements, like an elegant framing device that appeals on both a structural and geek level, show us glimpses of a really good movie hidden somewhere amongst the chaos. The experience of watching X3 rip off BtVS's rip-off of the Chris Claremont X-men comics is a bit vertiginous, but not as much as watching a seminal Buffy moment played out by .... Wolverine. There's also an aborted attempt to rip off a major element of Smallville (imagine, if the thought isn't too terrifying, the parts of the Luthors being served by the Worthingtons), and it's a shame they didn't develop this more because it's the one thing in Smallville that's well worth ripping off. Unfortunately, it suffers the most from the "see the beginning, see the end, see nothing of the most interesting transitional part" problem, and as such it's a waste of a good idea theft.


At some point, the producers clearly realized they had an Oscar winner in their cast, and decided by golly they were going to do something to showcase her. Fortunately, she's more at ease with her character than ever before. Unfortunately, I suspect that the need to move her up in the ranks resulted in some of the more unfortunate plot choices.


Oh, and if you go? Stay through past the credits.

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I also saw it last night ( This is the eternal "posting" last night, like when a character in a book describes "yesterday" :) ) and liked it a lot.


Good. Mr Jones as Juggernaut. "I'm the JUGGERNAUT, bitch" is EXACTLY how J would have talked, what, he ISN'T an aroggant murderous villian? He is happy crushing people to death with his face, but not happy with misogynistic banter?.


Very good indeed that Logan AND Wolverine made an appearence. " I'm not your father, I am your friend ".


His claws are not weapons one can pull the punch on, if you fight him you are going to die. Why no blood though, poor softcock American Film Association mavens, have not the courage of their convictions. " Ok, you  can show people being diced up with malice-aforethought, but NO BLOOD ".

I want a Logan coming out of having been forced to release Wolverine, shaking gobbets of half congealed blood off his arms, and looking tormented. Then someone like Kitty offering sympathy and his snarl shocking her.



Storm looked so FUCKING SEXY in that short hair, gave me the horn from hell, I can tell you" And she looked like a Goddess indeed in her attacks.


SECOND Best bit was Scott being killed. I have always hated that drippy, weak, whiney, sooky-boy, what a SOFT COK , why didn't we get to see him die?.


Third best bit was Magneto  saying , "Wait. Let the pawns go first. Thats what Pawns are for ".

Very interesting how he doesn't see that he is exactly the sort of nazi dog that he hates, he got some very good lines in this one. And they had him exact, perfect, in dealing with the convoy " OH , YES ! i WANT one ! "


Good also that they allowed Rogue to be human, I liked the resolution to her story.


Best bit was the entirety of Jean/Pheniox  so excellent it surpasses my usual wishing this or that shade of nuance were different. I really liked how she was trying to unwind shit, come at the fundamentals of things.




Some of Magnetos lines, were not delivered at all well. Probably a tiny niggle of unreasonable pickiness given how WELL most WERE delivered.


His using the Golden Gate with such ease, then failing to simply crush the entire building they were assaulting with similar ease.


The poormans "Torch" ugg. fuck off and never act again you pitiful tosser.


They made Colossus an American. In fact, all the GOOD mutants were. Whats with that?.


The pigeon angel. Looked like shit, couldn't be believable in his role, waste of screen time imho.

People laughed when he spread his wings. Certainly only in there to attrcth the " Oh look, it is an angel " American vote, in my estimate


Pretty good movie all and all.

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Well, this is a bit odd. Usually I find myself siding with people in saying "Well, that was okay." Not this time. It was horrible, in my opinoin.


The script was painful and rarely made sense, the plotlines were half-realized and were laughably silly, the attempts at humour were atrocious, the acting ranged from "pretty good" to "excrutiating", and even the action scenes felt forced and generic.


I don't think I've ever been quite so bored in a long time.

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I think the main problem is that there could have been so much more brought out of the material.

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I agree with you, Hagren. It had the potential to be a really good movie. And it was just so unfulfilling.


Fortunately, the new Superman Returns trailer got me through it, for it was the glory.

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Dont get me wrong, i was entertained for the one and half hour, had some couple of great experiences (As said, Jeans ramba-zamba in the house or the bridge.moving scene, some actors, cinematography, some story/dialogue-fragments), but thinking about X1 and especially 2 n the trailers plus the basic story it just makes the whole thing sour.

Sometimes it was good, but on the other hand too simple, too easy-going and passing out quickly.

And the result with you know what is just sad, it sold away not just its own premise, but the next ones, if there will be.

Maybe that could be somehow cleaned up by someone like Singer, though i stil dont blame Ratner, more the script.

Yeah, im also heated up for Supes.

And Spidey n Ghost Rider in addition.

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Well, that was a bit shit. I couldnt really be bothered to do a whole large writeup for this terminally unfulfilling and underwhelming movie, so here is a review that articulates pretty much everything I wanted to say:




I would add that its a terrible tragedy that this material was handed to the Hack King cos, as others have said, there are some decent ideas floating around in there. Had Bryan Singer been on hand, he wouldve distilled this mess into another clever and thought provoking movie. Instead we got this mildly entertaining mess with annoying Ratner-esque one-liners and crap that appeals to the lowest common denominator of audiences. And the ending does things that are so major with regards to the X Men franchise that its just downright criminal to have these people write/direct it. It's a huge shame and a waste.

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Yeah but at least now we have Supes under his hands.

I mean, who would have it directed after Ratner if he says no?

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Fuck, they must have ( and not for the first time, either ) sent a DIFFERENT FILM to New Zealand, aye, AND a different trailer for Superman.


That trailer SCREAMED, basso profundo yelling, " All the plot, point, and interest POSSIBLY contained in the premise of this movie, has just been revealed to you. Not only is this as good as it gets, this is actually BETTER than the whole thing can ever hope to be. Sucker ".


The complexity of the world being such and so, I very rarely attempt prophecy* but here literally goes nothing.


Superman returns will be twenty flavours all tasting of shit.


*So rarely indeed that that was the first time in a lifetime of writing letters and the like, that I have SPELT the word.

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X-Men 3: Not that good. It just didn't have that charm that Singer brought.


The Bad:

-There should never be an X-men where Wolverine cries twice. Never.


-Everything about the story, especially the deaths of major characters, just felt empty and hollow.


-Angel and Iceman both got more screen time than Cyclops. For shame.


-The Godfather III of the X-Men trilogy.


-The Beast's makeup job. Bleech. Grammer gave a good performance and I could not imagine anyone else playing the part, but the make up was just bad.




What I did like:

-Wolverine hacking 'n' slashing through some mutants.


-Ian McKellan. Always a good performance.


-Multiple Man. I love that guy.


-The new Superman Returns trailer.

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I enjoyed it just like an entertaining movie.. nothing more. It has no plot, it has nothing.. but, hey.. what did you expect? Nice to see if you don't have any hope to see a great film.

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I don't know if it was I was feeling sick or not but I didn't care for the film not one bit.

I didn't quite understand the logic of sending wave after wave of mutants at the end when MAgneto could just drop a mountain on top of them.


I did like the special effects of people being torn to shreds by jean though.


Question, how the hell did angel get across the united states? He wasn't on the plane correct. This really isn't a spoiler it's just a continuity question.

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Omahyra as Arclight. That was especially hot!


She looked like a dude. Part of me was wondering if it was Jaye Davidson.


I thought the bit with the bridge was completely gratuitous. Oh, and give Angel something to do. He was in it for like, three scenes. You don't even see him in an X-Men uniform, but all the posters in the theatre show him in one.


I should point out that nothing in that movie can be undone (Except for the death of Jean).


We never saw Cyclops die, and we never actually saw Jean kill anyone that way. Xavier can come back, and with Magneto moving that piece in the park at the end, we can see that the cure may not, in fact be permanent. So Mystique, and Rogue can get their poweres back also.

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I didnt want ot hurt him, but my sister asked the same thing too when she saw her (Is it a dude? Or a gal?)

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So, stemming from Sethos' comments, does anyone believe this really will be the last X-Men movie, or do you think they'll dig this franchise out again?


Right now, they're planning a Wolverine spin-off movie and then ending the series. I can't see Marvel actually ending the X-franchise at this point, it doesn't really make sense, unless they expect this movie to not do well.

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I think that they will continue.. don't ask me how, but they will do it.


No.. they MUST do it after this..

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Regardless of how poor I thought the movie is, they've set it up quite well to continue. As long as the next one is called:


X-Men 4: The Search for Xavier.

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