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The dark spider-knight returns

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I read the first two parts yesterday and it seems to be quite entertAining.

For those of you who dont know what i am talking about, "spider-man reign" is kind of the dark knight returns version of spider-man.

 

I dont want to say too much so i dont spoil anything.Has anyone been reading the series?

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After reading a plethora of glowingly-bad reviews, I downloaded this a week or two ago. The first part was hilariously terrible - not so much "inspired by" Dark Knight Returns as a badly-blurred photocopy of it, which is such a bad idea for a Spider-Man (fucking Spider-Man! "The mask thinks it's funny. It's laughing. Laughing. I can't take it. My ears can't take it. So I stop listening. I turn off the volume." Even Frank Miller would think twice* about dialogue like that!) story that I can't help but laugh at it.

 

The second part was just common-or-garden bad, though - still dreadful, but the gloriously over-the-top Wrong-Headedness had gone, leaving just a boring, poorly-written comic. I won't bother with the rest of it, unless I hear about some true comedy gold in the finale.

 

Lovely art, though.

 

 

*Yeah, OK. He totally wouldn't.

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i would,but its too much work.

 

Yeah, mark is probably right.It cant be compared to the dark night but i think it can still be ebtertaining stuff.

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Here you go.

 

Spider-Man.jpg

 

Spider-Man-1.jpg

 

Spider-Man-2.jpg

 

Spider-Man-3.jpg

 

There's loads more along those lines - it's honestly worth downloading the first issue for sheer comedy value alone. The DKR-cribbing is utterly shameless, right down to the hep-talkin' street gangs and talking-head TV commentators slipped in every few pages.

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:laugh: -Oh man, that's horribly wrong! Great unintentional comedic value!

I don't believe I've ever seen anyone miss so badly the entire point of Spider Man before. Even the dark doom and gloom period of the Spider-books in the 1990s wasn't this far off the mark.

 

"A yolk filled body, broken on the ground." :lol: Is that what that red stuff is, mommy?

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he kind of became an old pussy,and kind of lunatic

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Naah, that's straight-up Frank Miller pastiche - I don't see Millar in there at all. Millar's tics are equally recognizable and prone to parody, but manifest themselves very differently.

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The idea of this happening is rather lame and ridiculous. The art looks nice but at times it can be confusing and weird.

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Yup that's some fine looking crap, that is. The only darkness I want in my Spider-man is his costume, not in his attitude. Yes I am a mark for the black costume. But I think Spidey can still work, if written well, while wearing black.

I am sure this is Marvel's way of testing the waters for the up coming Spider-man "back in black" event where Spidey looses his smile and more of his audience.

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How many times has Spider Man lost his smile this year now? He just got his smile back in the pages of Friendly Neighbourhood Spider Man after the Civil War cross-over shit.

The guy needs Prozac!

Fucking Capitalist slave-master Tony Stark, giving Peter a suit of spider armour, but when it comes to the mental health of his employee, I don't see him offering Peter what he really needs....health insurance!

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How many times has Spider Man lost his smile this year now? He just got his smile back in the pages of Friendly Neighbourhood Spider Man after the Civil War cross-over shit.

The guy needs Prozac!

Fucking Capitalist slave-master Tony Stark, giving Peter a suit of spider armour, but when it comes to the mental health of his employee, I don't see him offering Peter what he really needs....health insurance!

 

Why does Marvel keep thinking that Spider Man is their version of Batman?

Matt Murdoch....lost father to crime, honed his fighting skills to the nth degree, obsessively fights crime in the grim 'n' gritty alleys of the big city. Made famous by Frank Miller.

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We've all gone through shit times though, Peter's meant to be the everyman so I don't see the problem with him getting all arsey with folks, as long as he comes out the other side with the wisecracking and the hoihoi.

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There's loads more along those lines - it's honestly worth downloading the first issue for sheer comedy value alone. The DKR-cribbing is utterly shameless, right down to the hep-talkin' street gangs and talking-head TV commentators slipped in every few pages.

Mind you, Miller pinched the talking heads from American Flagg in the first place, didn't he?

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Oh, yeah, loads of elements of Miller's style (both generally and on DKR specifically) are liberally borrowed from other writers/artists, and that's all perfectly fair - he still came up with something distinctive and uniquely his own. It's that distinctive combination of elements, rather than a few individual narrative tricks, which Andrews has ripped off so shamelessly for the first issue of this series, though, which is something a bit different.

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True enough, Mark. I just occasionally get a bit fed up of people constantly crediting Miller for the invention of adding talking head pundits to comic strips as another narrative layer when Howard Chaykin (and, now I think about it, Alan Moore in the first volume of Halo Jones) did it first.

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hasn't this type of story happened like million times before. I recall Spider-man becoming dark when Gwen stacy died. Then during Kravens Last Hunt and a few other times, and now in the next story line he is going to be "dark".

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SPIDER-MAN: REIGN #3: And now it's time for this week's "I seriously can't believe that Marvel did that" moment. I'm very surprised that I've not seen more online outrage about the reveal, this issue, of what killed Mary Jane: Spider-Man's cum. And for all of you who think I'm joking, here's the dialogue from the book itself: "Oh God, I'm sorry! The doctors didn't understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was... I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me... loving me... Loving me killed you!"

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Here's the full review, the Savage Critic site is always worth a Monday morning visit....

 

SPIDER-MAN: REIGN #3: And now it's time for this week's "I seriously can't believe that Marvel did that" moment. I'm very surprised that I've not seen more online outrage about the reveal, this issue, of what killed Mary Jane: Spider-Man's cum. And for all of you who think I'm joking, here's the dialogue from the book itself: "Oh God, I'm sorry! The doctors didn't understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was... I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me... loving me... Loving me killed you!"

 

Seriously, Marvel, WHAT THE FUCK? At what point did Spider-Man having radioactive sperm ever seem like a good idea? At what point did anyone even think about Spider-Man having radioactive sperm? Jesus Christ, I can't believe this ever saw print, I cannot believe that no-one at Marvel thought that having a comic where Spider-Man tells the corpse of his wife - because, yeah, I meant to say that, he's talking to the corpse of his dead wife - that he killed her with his special radioactive spider-spunk was ANYTHING that should ever be allowed to appear in a comic. And that's before you even get to the continuation of his admission: "Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer... I killed you."

 

Holy crap. To get an idea of the context of this scene, as he's saying this, the corpse of his wife is trying to kiss him with some kind of demon tongue. I was so numbed by the idea that Marvel somehow thinks that this is a perfectly publishable idea - that showing Marvel's #1 licensing jackpot, the same character that they put on all manner of kid products, the same character who's probably going to have the highest-grossing movie of the year this year coming out at the same time as the collection of this series, as being responsible for the death of his wife (potentially strong story idea, possibility for tragedy, etc.) specifically because of his radioactive jism (somewhere between WTF and TMI, and reducing potentially strong story idea to cheap dirty joke and/or bad idea, and something that I feel is kind of offensive in ways that I can't really explain) - that, later on, when the book does a very, very obvious 9/11 rip-off ("Bodies are falling! From the top of the building!" - They're not bodies, they're mini-Venoms, by the way), I was just bored. This book has gone from Dark Knight rip-off to car-crash embarrassment far too quickly. Ass, and, boy, does someone on the blog have to complain that Marvel really has no idea what to do with their own characters anymore every single week?

 

(And nothing to do with the book itself, but do you think Nissan are going to be that thrilled at their probably-expensive back cover ad having some of its text be covered up by the barcode and pricing info that Marvel didn't want to ruin their front cover?)

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