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TearsInRain

Van Helsink compared with Constantine????

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Still haven't seen Underworld, the strong negative word-of-mouth turned me off it, might give it a rental this week.

 

I don't mind a little humour in my flicks, see the comedy genius of "there is no Spoon" in Dog Soldiers.

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Guest Guest_TearsInRain_*
Yes, back to my original point:

 

Take the best bits of

Underworld (po-faced nothing special contemporary teen "horror" like if Buffy were all goths)

and

League of Egg-bound Gentlemen (over-blown failure of a light-hearted action film, ripped from the anus of a decent comic)

 

and you get Van Helsing (low brow B Movie fun, takes itself not a jot too seriously - comedy sidekicks abound)

 

AND which one of those has got most ideas in common with Constanteen ?

 

So, I suggest certain people aren't so fast to come around here with their "at least Constanteen is not as bad as Van Helsing" strategy.

 

 

As for all you people who insist on name-calling Underworld and Van Helsing, I hope you are happy with your text books and DIY kits this christmas.

 

 

None of them have much at all to do with what Constanteen is. That was my point. It is a much more mature film with a tone that is neither Goth nor Campy That doesn't mean it doesn't have its moments of humor but they are subtle and more dry. And it's not a mixture of those films at all, more like it own thing. It moves at a deliberatly slow pace that builds and doesn't talk down to its audience by spelling everything out. In fact Francis expunged almost all exposition which could be a problem for those 9 years old who like their movies spoon fed.

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In fact Francis expunged almost all exposition which could be a problem for those 9 years old who like their movies spoon fed.

 

 

didn't you hear the big boss man in the post above yours? there IS no spoon... fed. ;)

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In fact Francis expunged almost all exposition which could be a problem for those 9 years old who like their movies spoon fed.

 

Ahuh?

 

Like "Gabriel's Stereotypical Villain Speech"

And "Constanteen has the power to see demons that's why he sends them back to Hell" ?

And "he tried to kill himself that's why he has this special link" ?

And "he's dying of cancer, but wants to redeem or save himself*" ?

 

And "take these interesting artefacts that you might just have to use later on" ?

 

Sounds like shoehorned and spoonfed exposition to me.

 

(*whichever way that finally falls in the finished movie)

 

But of course, "Tears", you are not so familiar with the tales from Hellblazer where such explanations are far and few between. Tell you what, I'll give you the Gabriel speech (messed up as it was) and the cancer as being derived from the comic.

Because it's that time of year.

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"Underworld" sounded like pure, unadulterated drivel; but it gave the world a nifty soundtrack! Dare we even hope as much for "Constantine"?!

 

According to Lawrences, "Constantine is like Se7en meets Training Day". I don't know what "Training Day" is, and I loathe Seven, I loathe even more putting that stupid numeral in the type....

Also, Lawrence assures us that he used to read "Hellblazer". He loves how he saw John Constantine in Africa, L.A., the (American) Mid-West, and London.

He hopes to do a sequel because he think John is "such a fantastic character" (which makes me wish he would've used that character in this movie!).

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To be fair, what I have read and seen suggests that they do have an approximate idea of the character. It just irks me how much they have changed gratuitously if they like the source material so much.

 

Or, in the case of the religious morality that pervades Constanteen's actions, where it seems contrived to appease "the moral majority" in the movie-going public.

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I don't really understand this criticism against Underworld. I mean, I can understand if you didn't like it, but criticizing that it didn't have humour? I fucking HATE (and I mean that) that almost every action or thriller movie has to have some sort of "comic relief". For an example we probably DO agree on, do you think "Bram Stoker's Dracula" (with Gary Oldman) would have been better if it had more humour in it?

 

There's a difference between having comedy skits and just not being po-faced. I'm not saying that they had to have a KERRAZY funny character, just that they should have let some of the characters lighten up a little inbetween angsty fights. Instead, everyone wanders around looking constipated and acting like everything is SO SERIOUS when they're in a film which revolves around the absurd conceit that werewolves and vampires are caught up in a massive war on the streets of our cities.

 

Seriousness worked in, say, Interview With The Vampire, because that was a gloomy character piece. Seriousness in Underworld, with its magical sunshine bullets and big action setpieces, just makes the whole experience absurd.

 

Besides, Underworld had plenty of other problems - a complete lack of chemistry between the two leads; clumsily directed "action" scenes that combined identical-looking extras with crappy blocking to leave everyone in the audience confused as to who was attacking who; the decision to leave all of the exposition to the end of the film, so that the importance of the characters' actions is completely lost on the audience; trying to turn the werewolves into good guys when they've clearly been acting like shits from the off and having a climactic battle that basically consists of two grown men slapping each other about in a paddling pool. All of thse things conspire to make Underworld the enormously disappointing pile of crap that it is. Oh well! Kate Beckinsdale looked lovely.

 

And Bram Stoker's Dracula did have humour in it. You don't think he was being serious when he casted Keanu Reeves do you? That movie was camper than a row of tents.

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I got as far as their Beeman character and it is so GD overplayed.  Like some medevil Bond flick - one with the tongue in cheek Roger Moore in it.

 

That's the Son of Man arc isn't it? I think that camped up works better than when you try to go all mock serious. I'd rather watch Moonraker than some trumped up ooh aren't we clever piece of pretentious shite like a certain trilogy* starring Constanteen himself.

 

 

*Some good special effects though

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I got as far as their Beeman character and it is so GD overplayed.  Like some medevil Bond flick - one with the tongue in cheek Roger Moore in it.

 

That's the Son of Man arc isn't it? I think that camped up works better than when you try to go all mock serious. I'd rather watch Moonraker than some trumped up ooh aren't we clever piece of pretentious shite like a certain trilogy* starring Constanteen himself.

 

 

*Some good special effects though

 

 

Well I almost agree with you there but I rather enjoyed the first Matrix. The rest were written by Pods that took over W. Brothers brains while they slept. I wonder if anyone will ever trust them with that much freedom again. ANY writer, including the one that wrote the Hey Vern movies could have written a better story.

 

Moonraker was fun in its time for a 10 year old wanting more space stuff between star Wars gaps. But watch it now.. ouch.

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I enjoyed Matrix Reloaded. And I live and breathe. But somehow I don't think my testimony will have a big impact around here... *snicker*

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I was bored to tears by Matrix: Reloaded. It was like they were whispering their lines to each other.. :blink:

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I was bored to tears by Matrix: Reloaded. It was like they were whispering their lines to each other..  :blink:

 

 

oh, yeah, the meaningful whispers... it's like they took acting lessons from "La Femme Nikita" ;)

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It may just be that I am a action Junkie. Altho its weird. That movie annoyed me. Yet i kinda enjoyed seeing the Hulk.. But thats prolly because I'm a comic fan.. So i guess it really depends..

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a lot of people hated it because. They were expecting hulk Smash.. And not the psycological affairs an reasoning behind bruce Banner.

 

The same kind went with the Punisher. My friend got annoyed because an I quote. "They took out a perfectly good fuck scene" Like when he was about to bang his wife on the beach.

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I was bored to tears by Matrix: Reloaded. It was like they were whispering their lines to each other..  :blink:

 

 

oh, yeah, the meaningful whispers... it's like they took acting lessons from "La Femme Nikita" ;)

 

 

Well this won't go over well but I actually enjoyed the American remake of Le Femm - what was it Point of No Return with Bridget Fonda. maybe it was because I saw it first, then Le Femm. I know, I should be drawn and quartered for admitting such sacreligious actions

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Hulk was a good movie, but was based on the Bruce Jones run of "Hulk". I actually wanted to see the "HULK SMASH!" version myself!

I felt "Punisher" failed because of the love interest. The character just does not work if he has someone in his life! Punisher quickly would have grown bored with his vendetta, said "Eh. I've got a hotter woman now.", and retired to a condo on the beach to live happily ever after.

 

I don't understand the undying devotion of "the Matrix", period! Yes, the first Matrix was a damn good movie, but it's not like it was that original of a concept! The fact that they stretched it out into a Trilogy was what bothered me. I didn't see the reason! I get so annoyed at these people going, "I've never seen anything like the Matrix! It must be the most original idea of all time! Those men who made it are geniuses!" NO! The only thing we hadn't seen before was all the nifty special effects they crammed into the movie. That was cool and all....

sigh.

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I got as far as their Beeman character and it is so GD overplayed.  Like some medevil Bond flick - one with the tongue in cheek Roger Moore in it.

 

That's the Son of Man arc isn't it? I think that camped up works better than when you try to go all mock serious. I'd rather watch Moonraker than some trumped up ooh aren't we clever piece of pretentious shite like a certain trilogy* starring Constanteen himself.

 

 

*Some good special effects though

 

For some reason this post prompted me to order Son of Man from Amazon yesterday. I got in before the last posting date so I should get it in time for Christmas. That's my Christmas present to myself sorted out.

 

:smile:

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Well a few things I didnt like about the Punisher movie

 

 

1.The Russian had no lines. I woulda liked him to say the lines from Welcome Back,Frank.

2. Joan the Mouse.. She didnt act anything like her Comic version.. Thought its prolly because Ms.Stamos wanted more screen time..

3. Howard Saint. He wasnt as bad as Ma Gnucci.

 

 

And with the total killing of Franks family and nothing be done.. I can see why an how someone would take up a Vendetta against the person responsible. I wouldv liked to know how Harry heck and The Russian found him.

 

 

 

[ Spoiler : in Welcome back,frank one of his neighbors or someone sees frank coming back to the apartment wounded. And they know he's the Punisher because he had on the suit and would about 6ft tall or something. They then call Ma Gnucci and rat him out. ]

 

I also wouldv liked to find out how Howard Saint got the info on Frank.

 

All in All it was actually pretty good. I got it on DVD but was pissed on how they didnt add anything good. They had only TWO deleted scenes. And they were shitty.

 

They are planning to make a sequel to the movie. That suposedly starts where the first one ended. And will be a bit more violent and graphic.

 

Things I'd like to see in it.

 

1. The Piranha scene.

2. a Guy getting stranged by a Anaconda

3. Frank Punch a Polar bear to make it more vicouse.

4.Maybe some more Ennis style Punisher violence..

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re The Hulk - if they were going to make the big cerebral "Hulk Think!" they should have rejected the toy manufacturer items like Hulk Dogs and made his father less of an over-acted scenery chewer. They did not.

In fact, if the directors of the two second tier Marvel movies had been swapped, we'd have had two better films. (Ang Lee, don't make me Ang Lee!)

 

re Nikita - Tears, Rogan might well be referring to the TV series rather than the film. The Bridget Fonda movie was not half bad.

 

re The Matrix Rebooted - oh dearie dearie me.

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I liked:

- Bram Stoker's Dracula (yes, Keanu Reeves ACCENT is bad, but the movie is good)

- Underworld (already argued)

- The Matrix 1,2,3, in descending order. No 1 is brill, no 2 is very good, no 3 is OK

 

I did not like:

- The Hulk (Not horrible, but boring. Eric Bana was pretty decent, though)

- Van Helsing (Boooooring, OTT, ridiculous plot, etc etc)

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re The Hulk - if they were going to make the big cerebral "Hulk Think!" they should have rejected the toy manufacturer items like Hulk Dogs and made his father less of an over-acted scenery chewer. They did not.

In fact, if the directors of the two second tier Marvel movies had been swapped, we'd have had two better films. (Ang Lee, don't make me Ang Lee!)

 

What's the other film? Daredevil?

 

re Nikita - Tears, Rogan might well be referring to the TV series rather than the film. The Bridget Fonda movie was not half bad.

 

Wasn't that the one where she's framed instead of being a manslaughtering junkie, though?

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