Holy Rocking Abs of Steel, Batman!

[Balthazar 188]

 

...Wow

 

HELLBLAZER #257

Written by Peter Milligan

Art by Giuseppe Camuncoli & Stefano Landini

Cover by Simon Bisley

There are worse things than being embroiled in a romantic quadrangle – or maybe there aren’t if you’re in love with John Constantine. But this time, calling him a lady-killer just might be cutting too close to the bone.

On sale July 22 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • MATURE READERS

[A. Heathen 1,215]

Okay. This is silly.

[Mark 333]

Jesus. That's just feckin' awful, is what that is.

[Balthazar 188]

Jesus. That's just feckin' awful, is what that is.

 

[JohnMcMahon 651]

Oh good, I thought maybe it was just me.

 

It's not a bad cover per-say, just terribly ill-suited to Hellblazer.

[A. Heathen 1,215]

It's for trenchcoat fanboys to wank over.

[TestosteRohne 1]

I predict my upcoming issues of Hellblazer will be worth more with their covers removed.

[JohnMcMahon 651]

It's for trenchcoat fanboys to wank over.

If he photoshops in some zippers on the sleeves for the final version it might be my favourite Hellblazer cover ever.

[Mark 333]

It's not a bad cover per-say, just terribly ill-suited to Hellblazer.

 

Oh, I don't know. It's quite bad on its own merits...

 

He seems to have kept the deliberately wonky anatomy and completely fooked perspective which are a part of his signature style (just look at those shoulders, or the woman's thalidomide-addled left leg, or the multi-level, multi-angle interior floors, or the window-frame...), but toned down the wilder excesses of musculature, fashion, architecture and composition which usually provide a context against which those other things make visual sense. The result is that it's not over-the-top enough to succeed as a piece of classically Bisley-esque grotesquery, but too 'out there' (ghastly term, but right now I can't think of a better way to put it) to work as a more conventional image. It's all a bit of a mess, really.

[JasonT 484]

I like it. It's beautifully rendered, striking, quite painterly in places.

 

But it does suggest that Biz's concept of Hellblazer is very different to mine.

[Christian 900]

Cyberpunk Constantine variant?

[TestosteRohne 1]

Well atleast there's the scar hey.

[Bilirubin 38]

I like it. It's beautifully rendered, striking, quite painterly in places.

I hope that is said with irony. Its primitive crap that shouldn't ever be seen even in a first year drafting course.

[/TOM]

[JasonT 484]

[/TOM]

Using the same reasoning, Picasso was shite. No, the wonkiness is part of Simon Bisley's style, as Mark managed to simultaneously point out and ignore. His misuse of perspective is part of the appeal of his work. So is texture, and there are some lovely textures in that image.

 

[Mark 333]

the wonkiness is part of Simon Bisley's style, as Mark managed to simultaneously point out and ignore explain why he felt it didn't work in this particular instance.

 

Really, Jason, I'd have expected better of you.

[sethos 5]

don't know why, but I kind of like this cover. everything about this is wrong, but then I also liked Richard Corben's potatohead Constantine. Maybe I just like to imagine Bisley working on some Warhammer style Hellblazer figures.

[sethos 5]

observations:

 

those have to be the shittiest blinds I've ever seen anybody draw by the way.

 

the girl can't ever eat anything, it would never pass through her stomach with a waist like that.

 

John is smoking what must be the biggest Silk Cut ever.

 

the shadow over John's face from the blinds is so clumsily placed, it looks like a mask. Maybe that was the intention, but it makes him look like some villain from Mad Max or other 80s post-apocalypse flicks.

 

Ugliest carpeting EVER.

 

meanwhile, I do like Bisley's style for some reason, the wonky perspective I can totally live with, and I love the way he drew the bathroom. but man, doesn't this look like a bad noir romance novel? I think you could have lots of fun pasting those romance comics style cover dialogues and titles over this. girl: "what's the matter, John?" John: "I can't... I just can't" and then the title: STEROIDS SHRUNK HIS BALLS!!!!

[Mark 333]

I also liked Richard Corben's potatohead Constantine.

 

As did I, because it was ace. Fight the power!

 

As JasonT points out, the image is competently-executed, and I can see why it might work for some people (particularly if they like Bisley's work more than I tend to). I'm certainly not averse to it being a bit different from what we're used to, I just don't think it's a particularly compelling or attractive* image. Given the relatively bog-standard nature of the image itself - muscle-clad, brooding man stares moodily out of sleazy apartment window while sexamalicious babe poses sultrily in background - I'd have appreciated either something a bit more subtle, or even a bit more excessive - anything to put a slightly more interesting twist on the cliched imagery. It goes too far, but it doesn't go too far enough, if you like. At the very least, I'd have been happy with something a bit less...well, a bit less eighties.

 

Like Sethos, though, I do like the bathroom.

 

*Before Jason comes back to tell me that "attractive" isn't necessarily what Bisley's work is trying to be, feel free to mentally replace it with "ugly in an aesthetically-interesting way", or something.

[Mark 333]

Note: if Milligan's story for #257 turns out to be a piece of humorously-broad retro-pulp pastiche, I will cheerfully rescind every criticism I've made of this cover.

 

I'd quite like that, actually.

[metanoia 70]

The reflection in the mirror is wrong too.

 

I don't think that's supposed to be a silk cut Sethos.

[Mr. Tom Willecome 0]

Greg Lauren anyone?

 

Anyone?

[londonsurrealist 2]

I'm quite encouraged actually. Apparently, if you are a middle-aged man a diet of booze and fags will render you super-fit with a six-pack to die for and not make you a plump smelly jelly as formerly supposed. I'm off to sit outside the pub with a pint, a pie and a packet of Silk Cut!

 

 

[Mark 333]

Greg Lauren anyone?

 

Anyone?

 

I liked him. The unimaginative repetition was part of his style, as so many of you managed to simultaneously point out and ignore. His misuse of brown paper bags was part of the appeal of his work. So was texture, and there were some lovely textures in his covers.

 

Hey, this is easy.

 

 

 

Kidding aside, I never thought Lauren was that bad. Not one of my favourites, and I wasn't sorry to see Bermejo replace him, but I wish he'd at least done all the covers for Mina's run, if only for the sake of consistency.

[Lou K 1,128]

Boy that's crap. Looks like he's got a doobie though.

[Bilirubin 38]

Jason: surely you aren't comparing this shite with Picasso? Picasso had a *point* to what he was doing , after all. I fail to see what the point of this is, other than "bad art can sell too", or "Vertigo is intentionally trying to drive sales into the earth".

 

Let's recap:

 

Proportions: wrong like a 13 year old with no art training

Perspective: horribly wrong

Composition: wrong. wrong. wrong.

Textures: nice

 

So he should go back to designing fills for PhotoShop. Its what he's best at.