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John Carter

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DAMN! That looks so good. Great design work, special effects and so on. I really hope it is a success and they can make more.

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You know, 25 years or so ago, when I saw John Carpenters "The Thing" I think, I remember first having a discussion with my twin along the lines of

 

"One day they will be able to do this so very accurately, they will be able to GIVE us Barsoom on a screen".

 

I have had that same discussion since.

 

And, Et voila!.

 

Oh, and I don't think I need to tell you how I feel. I suppose the directors and scriptwriters will have butchered the storyline to make it "better" somehow, and I will have to go on a killing spree in the hills of Hollywood, but for the moment?. Contented.

 

REAL Green Martians. In a MOTHER FUCKING HORDE, baby. With THE real Green Martian attitude. REAL Great White Apes. Woola the Faithful. Airships not UN-alike the ones in the stories. Warriors Metal that looks like something a Man would choose to wear*. Green Martian long-guns. Ancient Abandoned Cities to play in.

 

Just love the scene there where J.C. is obviously decked out "formally**" in the Metal of his defeated. More Metal than Man! lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*For a certain, "outmoded" value of man.

 

** for·mal·ly/ˈfôrməlē/. Adverb : In accordance with the rules of convention or etiquette

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Did you ever read the "World of Tiers" series of books by Phillp Jose Farmer, guys?.

 

In one of the books in it, a god ( little g ) who has a reprobate human friend and also happens to have a spare small moon, builds Barsoom as a sort of gift for the human. He does say "I draw the line at the various colours of Martian though, Paul, I don't mind making Thoats for you to ride, and Great White Apes for you to fight, but I won't make sentients just so you can run them through with a long sword". Which, you know, was quite decent of him, from both perspectives.

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I have seen it.

It isn't terribly great, but quite enjoyable.

 

One of the things that took me out of it was how apparently the native Martians are red-skins, when they really, they look like white people back from the beach.

 

Performancesw-wise, it was all around average. The four-armed folk were the best of the lot, really. McNulty was alright, though his character was pretty flat. The male and female leads were pretty meh.

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I really, really enjoyed it. It's very old fashioned, I liked the framing device of the film, and I thought the leads had great chemistry. Also, I liked the fact that there werelots of homages to/influences from Lawrence of Arabia.

 

Willem Dafoe is just great in everything, isn't he?

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+1 on the William Dafoe exaltation.

 

 

Hey, Kate mate, have you read "Seven Pillars of Wisdom"?. Though the movie is one of my favourite things, the book is so much more.

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Regarding the Lawrence, anyone else feel up for a re-read of TLoEG?

 

I am. Re-read the first series not that long ago.

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I saw it. It was much better than I thought, from how badly it has done at the box-office.

 

They did a damned good job of dealing with many problematic aspects of the story from the books, with minimum time spent, showing, not telling in a lot of cases. There were any number of themes they dealt with by just telling the story,[ Spoiler : the happy gambling the Tharks do shows the contempt they hold the Red martians in to perfection. The surprise then curled lip of Sarkoja when she guesses that Sola and Tars Tarkas are daughter and father was as good as a footnote, the fact that the Thern isn't worried about trotting around in changing disguises "explains" without bothering to say in so many words "His disguise works better than it looks like it does, high tech is just as if it were magic" ]

 

Small spoiler full rant behind this spoiler. tongue.gif

[ Spoiler : Dejah Thoris was done very well in most ways, almost all ways really. I loved how she instantly expected the Tharks to listen to her when she first approaches their camp, appealing to their respect for pride and strength, that was smartly done. And how she worked hard to try to turn J.C. to her peoples service, just as a Princess would have. And while her virtues were not the ones of the book, she was ( mostly ) virtuous. If they could have JUST kept themselves from twice having Dejah Thoris actually take the sword out of John Carters hands and "Show him how it is done", I would have nothing to say bad about the changes they made in her from the books.

 

In all the books she is the Acme of women, her beauty a mere fraction of her true worth, which lays in her person, unstained by fault, loved by her people because she is the best of them. I didn't mind that they made her a scientist, why wouldn't she be, she is the best of their people and they value science. I wouldn't have even cared that they made her a swordswoman, they live for a thousand years after all, time enough to master arms, and good exersize too.

 

But John Carter, the entire fucking thing about John Carter is, is he is the greatest swordsman on three worlds. NO ONE on Barsoom can match him, none can better him, she had nothing to show him or prove by taking the sword out of his hands and saying "You better stand behind me". That is just stupidity, the entire point of him is he can not be bested in a culture that prides itself on swordsmanship, that holds trial by combat because that proves something to their way of thinking! . His skill matched by his inbarsoomian strength means no one, not their strongest swordsman, could possibly beat him. ( Is this reasonable, well that is a separate question, a thousand years of practice would make for a pretty fucking unbeatable swordsman. Howsoever, he is the greatest swordsman on three worlds it says so, right there on the bloody label! So we don't have to wonder about that. )

 

That is why he is able to impose his will on the cultures, from large things like having standing in the Thark community because they equate beating your opponent with a lesser weapon than the oppponent draws as you being that much better, fittier than the opponent, so when he kills a bullying warrior with his fists, their culture says he must have a high standing, to even little things like convincing the Tharks to treat their riding beasts better, ( He treats his better, it becomes a better riding beast, quiet to handle, comes when called, the Tharks instantly accord his efforts with the ultimate respect of following them, they are fitter methods, so they gain acceptance. ) and ultimately, to the very large thing which is his convincing the ages long waring kinds of Barsoomian that they can respect one another enough to live in peace. He is better in the swordsmanship they place such a value in, once he defeats he heals the wound and extends his hand in friendship, and it is a better way so they take it up too. If he COULDN'T beat all comers, he couldn't make allies of them.

 

J.C. is never beaten with a sword, and to Red and Green Barsoomian culture this is signifigant, gives his reasons and arguments the essential internally consistant and culturally siginifigant value of "He can beat any three of us in a fight, so his ideas at least are from a fit person to offer us this new way". If he wasn't the best swordsman man on three worlds, everything else he did, would not work by the Barsoomian cultures logic.

 

And they sacrificed all that to play up the simply wrong idea, that women can do anything.

 

She could no more be a better swordsperson than J.C. is, than she could lift more than he can. Why not have her jump higher than him too?. It was extremely stupid to sacrifice such an important part of the myth, to yet one more purile "Women can make men look small in any endeavour" bullshit.

And that was entirely their intent, belittling bullshit. If they had of just meant to show she was at least his equal in that she could use a sword and risk her life fighting for the right ,she wouldn't have said "Stand behind me" she would have said "No sport, I don't need protecting, I will stand beside YOU and we will fight together".

 

His offer to her was one of an offer of protection, because that was his culture, she should have countered with one of companionship, because ( in the movies Barsoom ) that was her culture. ]

 

 

To anyone who loves the books, I can say, go see this, if only for the Tharks and especially for Wolla. They did a pretty spot on job on my Wolla, he was as if he stepped from the books.

 

I say, bad guys?, yoo hoo, bad guys?,

 

don't fuck with the Virginian unless you ain't fond of your legs, he has a faithful calot around here somewhere. And he is quicker than you will like.

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Disney's claiming they lost like 200 million dollars on this movie. This is an interesting article on what went wrong with the marketing.

 

The director thought John Carter was a famous figure and didn't want to call the movie "John Carter OF MARS" or something less generic. outside nerds people do NOT know who John Carter is

 

I'm kind of trying to see it tho I've heard good thigs

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It's fabulous! Better than all 3 SW prequels which all shown massive profits. The fact they didn't put Mars in the title was a monumental blunder. Some rednecks were probably all, "Is that a documentary about that Democrat Reagan solayed in the political areana..." (No, really...rednecks have the internet too, and really like using words that make them appear to have something in their brainpan that hasn't been pickled or melted by lead paint-or huffing paint- yet).

 

But it was an awesome adventure. I used to read John Carter Warlord of Mars as a kid, but the story arcs were like 10 issues long, these long as fuck epics and if you missed an issue, you missed so much and it may have been a bit complicated for my young mind meat. But I loved the fact the lower gravity on Mars made him a super hero. I loved that the Martian Juice made him understand everyone. The 4 armed Martians were as entertaining as they could be. And I liked the tech that got him to Mars, as like a combination transporter/fax machine, but more of a dimensional/frequency shifter. It was a nice long fun adventure-everything we kids look for in a big sci-fi movie. And the little plot twist at the end was funny. They did call it John Carter of Mars at the very end. I just watched it this morning. I saw it when it came out in the theater but I had been partying the night before and slept through about an hour in the middle, so I think I wrote in the Yakko-Smakko thread that it was meh, but that was because I didn't know how long it was or how long i'd been asleep. But upon further evaluation, it was indeed a worthwhile cinematic jack-off. I give it 4 squirts.

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It's fabulous! Better than all 3 SW prequels which all shown massive profits. The fact they didn't put Mars in the title was a monumental blunder. Some rednecks were probably all, "Is that a documentary about that Democrat Reagan solayed in the political areana..." (No, really...rednecks have the internet too, and really like using words that make them appear to have something in their brainpan that hasn't been pickled or melted by lead paint-or huffing paint- yet).

 

But it was an awesome adventure. I used to read John Carter of Mars as a kid, but the story arcs were like 10 issues long, these long as fuck epics and if you missed an issue, you missed so much and it may have been a bit complicated for my young mind meat. But I loved the fact the lower gravity on Mars made him a super hero. I loved that the Martian Juice made him understand everyone. The 4 armed Martians were as entertaining as they could be. And I liked the tech that got him to Mars, as like a combination transporter/fax machine, but more of a dimensional/frequency shifter. It was a nice long fun adventure-everything we kids look for in a big sci-fi movie. And the little plot twist at the end was funny. They did call it John Carter of Mars at the very end. I just watched it this morning. I saw it when it came out in the theater but I had been partying the night before and slept through about an hour in the middle, so I think I wrote in the Yakko-Smakko thread that it was meh, but that was because I didn't know how long it was or how long i'd been asleep. But upon further evaluation, it was indeed a worthwhile cinematic jack-off. I give it 4 squirts.

 

THIS!!!

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