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Hellblazer #292

  

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  1. 1. How was it?



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It may be said that the recent Hellblazer issues felt like they were written by some 14 year old, but this one here is a whole new beast.. I would say that the person who wrote this is no more than 8.

 

In issue 292 Peter Milligan boldly explores new heights of incoherence. The story is hard to talk about, without the brain overheating from having to process this randomly put together, uninspired nonsense. I gotta give it to Pete though - he is onto something here. Not even grant Morrison was able to break the 4th wall in such an effective way. The horror in Milligan's Hellblazer stories leaks out to the reality, giving the reader a truly horrific experience..

 

Now, how can he possibly top that? Can he make something that makes even LESS sense, after writing something that makes no sense at all?

I guess we have to wait to find out - I know i can't wait to look forward to reading Hellblazer again!

 

The Biz artwork was really great here - but like with "Prometheus" - even the best looks can't make up for incoherent mess of a story.

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Haven't read the issue yet...does John turn into a werewolf (based on the cover)...but I'm glad that others are finding the plot of Prometheus an incoherent mess!

The critics seemed to love it, I guess, but it was really just throwing random ideas out.

OK, should we discuss Prometheus instead of Hellblazer this month? :smile:

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He does, for a page or two, but there's more to it, and thinking about it really makes me question Peter's state of mind.. I respect the hell out of him, but what the hell was that? I would like to hear if anyone has any idea, I'm just baffled.

 

I hardly ever agree with the critics, but I'm genuinely surprised this movie got good reviews. From watching the trailers, and being a fan of Scott in general, i expected something more compact and focused, but this movie is just all over the place. The characters are inconsistent in their actions, and sometimes completely insane, the android being the best example. The biologist who is terrified of finding an alien dead body, all of a sudden decides that it's a cute thing to do to play with an alien cobra. There is just so many things that make no sense there.

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Oh, dear lord...So this is what HB is reduced to in the end.

It reads like a kiddie comic, but it's full of swear words and naked chicks....

Lord De Loup, really? That's the sort of "clever" word play you find in Scooby Doo.

This is just too stupid for words.

I don't think it's a new low-point for HB, as I think we've already hit that...but this gets a 1.

I foresee ones from me for the remainder now.

This book is such a car crash now. I think I'm actually starting to enjoy buying it, just to see how stupid and mangled Milligan can turn this book. Just so fucking stupid....

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Not even grant Morrison was able to break the 4th wall in such an effective way.

 

ahahahahaha :laugh:

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Bisley's art is so lush, the wolf's-eye-view of Epiphany was amusing, shame he mucked up the silver cricket bat though!

 

Story was a total nonsense.

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Watch Prometheus on drugs and it makes more sense. The religious shit and cracker aliens will piss you off though.

 

Against my better judgment, I picked it up in the shop, opened it to John becoming a werewolf, screamed and put it back down. Fucking fuck this is bad!

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They must be kidding?.

 

I thought Hellblazer was a relatively successful book a year ago?.

 

Why would they do this?.

 

Nice, cartoony art though.

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I loved Bisley's artwork, but this will be my final issue of Hellblazer till a new writer pops up: atrocious stuff.

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this was terrible. I suppose the flashback was set 10 years ago, that would put it between Azzarello and Carey, yet it doesn't fit there at all does it. This John Constantine seems much younger than that.

 

Also there was this bit of dialog that irked me, after Piffy gets back from the werewolf movie she describes the ending to John. "the slightly fat girl gets eaten up... but our handsome hero overcomes his issues with commitment and saves the pretty girl from the big bad wolf." Another shot at Angie? What's the point of this?

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I think I'm giving up on this title until the next writer comes aboard, and I'm also dropping Justice League Dark. Milligan has proven he has NO IDEA how to write a John Constantine title. I just don't understand how this guy hasn't been removed from the title.

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Not as bad as last month, but last month's was genuinely offensive on multiple levels, so it'd be hard to top it. Bisley's art looked half-arsed, except when he was drawing Epiphany, who was 100% fully arsed, with a bit extra on top. Not sure why a Brit would draw a cricket bat as a baseball bat, and even less sure why the error wasn't ironed out at the lettering stage.

 

The story, though... it's just a series of things happening, isn't it? Nothing of import happens and nothing is achieved. Well, I suppose on a meta level it serves to add to the Epiphany/John relationship, but it doesn't add much of anything, and after 30+ issues of those two slobbering over each other I'm not sure why we needed to know that they met 10 years ago. Is it to bolster the readers' faith in the relationship? To prove that it's not actually a love potion thing at all? Does anyone other than me even remember that speculation?

 

It's fine. Hellblazer died at issue 213. It just doesn't know it yet.

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No, John Constantine went mad during #250 and as it always goes, the people closest to him suffered the effects most.

Which means the writer and editor(s) apparently.

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I think I'm giving up on this title until the next writer comes aboard, and I'm also dropping Justice League Dark. Milligan has proven he has NO IDEA how to write a John Constantine title.

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The story, though... it's just a series of things happening, isn't it? Nothing of import happens and nothing is achieved. Well, I suppose on a meta level it serves to add to the Epiphany/John relationship, but it doesn't add much of anything, and after 30+ issues of those two slobbering over each other I'm not sure why we needed to know that they met 10 years ago. Is it to bolster the readers' faith in the relationship? To prove that it's not actually a love potion thing at all? Does anyone other than me even remember that speculation?

 

It's fine. Hellblazer died at issue 213. It just doesn't know it yet.

I agree. I don't really see the point of this story at all.

 

Once again it feels like Hellblazer is just treading water not going anywhere.

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Sorry, cuz, it feels like Hellblazer drowned and someone found its body, attached strings to it, and is dragging it behind their truck at 80 mph. (no idea how many km that is)

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Hmmm... I see where everybody is coming from with their almost universally negative remarks and to some extent agree with them. It WAS a shoddy bit of story-telling and what's more I didn't care for Bisley's artwork here, dreadful werewolf, just laughable really I thought. Now, I have generally felt a bit more positive about much of Milligan's run than many here and am less negative than many on this occasion. I'd also say that I've rarely been as positive as some when the comments have been in that direction, it has too often seemed like some really good ideas, not quite realised to my tastes and of late Milligan has seemed to be losing the plot somewhat.

 

On the subject of Bisley's art, well, I started by hating his covers and liking the inside art a lot. However, it doesn't quite work here, looks a bit rushed, as I said, I didn't like his idea of a werewolf, except, oddly enough, on the cover, where it seemed humourous.

 

I'd love to see somebody else have a go at the title. I wouldn't mind seeing Camuncoli staying on for the artwork, but preferably with somebody very different on the covers. I'm probably not as jaundiced as some of you about Hellblazer as I probably read a lot less comics than most of you and some apparently stale ideas seem relatively fresh to me, but it really does feel as if Milligan's tenure should be over soon, and maybe the sooner the better. On the other hand, Suicide Bridge tells me that I'd be happy to see him do a one-off or an OGN.

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If this was the only story I had ever read about John, I would quite simply never read another. Life is too short to keep poking ones nose into the rubbish heap, hoping to chance over a rose.

 

The fact that it is one of the better, more interesting of comic characters reduced to this though, seems like an actual attack on the character.

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That's exactly what it is. It's an attack on the character by people too stupid (WB) to know they are doing it. Someone got John drunk and put a gorilla mask on him and dumped him in the WB offices and now everyone his hitting him with folding chairs-metaphorically speaking of course.

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I'm sure no one in the WB offices knows who John Constantine is.

"You see, we're planning to screw over the fans of this John Constantine comic character..."

"Wait. Did you say Batman?"

"No. John Constantine. The Hellblazer comic, you know?"

"You mean the Superman comic?"

"Uhhh...No."

"We're confused. Do whatever you want. Just don't mess up those comics we publish, Batman and Superman."

 

Who could have figured that putting a credible Vertigo name like Peter Milligan on a title would end up like this?

Plus, sales have remained solid, so there's no reason to think that there's any problems with the comic.

I just don't think the editors read these books anymore.

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I don't see this having happened by accident. All these people involved who know more about comics, and what makes them good then I ever will, and we get that piece of shit from this month?. How is that an accident?.

 

Honestly, it is like some sort of fan-writer was let into the office. Actually, I have to add an adjective there, some sort of half-arsed fan-writer.

 

I tried not to say a word about it other than "I really don't like this", because I don't normally attack people who are doing something badly, that I could only do badly, but this is just past the point of failure for my kindness circuitry. He is far and away a better writer than this. Once is coincidence, 40 comics is enemy action.

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Bisley's art looked half-arsed, except when he was drawing Epiphany, who was 100% fully arsed, with a bit extra on top.

:laugh::laugh:

The story, though... it's just a series of things happening, isn't it? Nothing of import happens and nothing is achieved. Well, I suppose on a meta level it serves to add to the Epiphany/John relationship, but it doesn't add much of anything, and after 30+ issues of those two slobbering over each other I'm not sure why we needed to know that they met 10 years ago.

What it adds is the slightly creepy thought that JC wants her because he fell in love/lust with her when she was a child. Good going, Milligan!

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Some folks referred back (quite rightly as it happened) to Milligan's writing of Ladies in Shade The Horny Madbastard etc.

 

At the time, I recalled fondly the better days of Lenny & Kathy & that other one, but the sexual aspects of his Hellblazer have been consistently fucked up. I say consistently but I mean this kind of consistent:

 

piomasvolv2-43554125659.jpeg

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If that works out to be accurate, we will have no artic ice at all in summer ice in only two and a half more years.

 

We will have to revisit this in 2015, I think.

 

Who has a diary to make a note in?.

 

(When I saw the quote from James, then your chart, I thought "Hello, he has made a chart of Epiphanys' bottom growth!" )

 

 

:)

 

I went and looked through the comic again.

 

I like the colours a bit. A small bit.

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