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Hellblazer #296

  

9 members have voted

  1. 1. Is it any good?



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Curse of the Constantines: Part 4 of 5 -

(W) Peter Milligan (A) Giuseppe Camuncoli, Stefano Landini (CA) Simon Bisley

 

Sex and horror in Ireland as urban mage John Constantine - along with his alchemically gorgeous wife Epiphany - finally finds his long lost nephew, an alleged occultist serial killer driven bad by blighted Constantine blood. But what is the secret of the real killer? All will be revealed in Part Four of 'The Curse of the Constantines.'

 

(That's the actual solicitation text? Jeez.)

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It's back towards getting bad again.

It might not have reached the levels of horror that the book was at recently, but the story-arc just seems to be running too long at this point, I've lost interest, and the writing is going downhill again, into self-parody territory.

There might have been one or two pages that I liked in the book.

Oh, we get another self-reference to "Hell blazer"! Who expected when the book was nearly to issue 300 that we'd see John Constantine finally truly become The Hellblazer he was always meant to be?

The interesting parts of the story are behind us, as we're back to the usual fare.

I'll give it a 5.

It's either this or Gemworld, I guess....

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Yeah, that made for a disappointingly average-boarding-on-poor read - I always liked Ellis' "I've seen hell blaze through these streets" but Milligan's effort at referencing the title fell very flat for me.

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I picked this up in the comic shop as you people have been saying it was getting as good as less than average again.

 

It looked awful.

 

And it read awfuller.

 

Fuck off.

 

And I am still boycotting the polls until you fuckers remember the zero option.

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Can't you just add a zero option?

(The problem with that is: if everybody votes zero, and next month's issue is even worse*, then where can the poll go thereafter? You shouldn't ever vote ten for the same reason...)

 

*(This is Milligan, after all: his Hellblazer can always get worse, it seems.)

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As bad as it was (nice ripoff of Psycho--Mother!), I enjoyed it more than I've enjoyed any of the others over the past year or more. I too picked it up in the shop and left it there. the solicitations just keep getting worse, though, don't they?

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Can't you just add a zero option?

(The problem with that is: if everybody votes zero, and next month's issue is even worse*, then where can the poll go thereafter? You shouldn't ever vote ten for the same reason...)

 

*(This is Milligan, after all: his Hellblazer can always get worse, it seems.)

 

Well, it's not like we have to worry about the "10" option...

I voted a few of the Delano issues as 10's, but it's very hard to get a perfect score.

 

I suppose the next poll will be:

0

-1

-2

-3

and so on.

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Am I the only one who thought a shot might have been taken at us with that line about the internet sites devoted to him? I still am enjoying this arc more than the last, I appreciate that John's nephew isn't the evil one.

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Am I the only one who thought a shot might have been taken at us with that line about the internet sites devoted to him?

 

You know, I did too. I was thinking maybe we might end up getting a bunch of kiddies joining up because of what they read in the Hellblazer comic book.

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It might be, although it'd be a pretty boring picture. If I remember correctly, it's just John standing next to his nephew.

It doesn't have the class of the banners taken from recent HB covers, that's for sure.

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He's out to get us, man. He comes here every day after a hard day of writing HB, and reads our reactions to his HB stories. Then he laughs, and it motivates him to go back to work another day. He says, "I really had no reason to destroy Constantine, until I discovered that little forum. Now, I have all the motivation I need to write these horrible stories."

On Christmas day, he goes up on the cliff, and cups his hand to his ears, and listens for the sounds of weeping from all the Cons down in Conville. "Boo hoo! Boo hoo! I can't read my favourite comic anymore! My 'Blazers have been lasered, and my memes are all non-dreamy." And, Milligan's undersized heart grew three sizes that day.

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That Christian tells the terrible truth! It's not just Milligan-it's Vertigo, Karen Berger, DC, Paul Levitz, Dan DiDio, Sting, Keanu Reems (the pr0n actor), William Simpson, Brian Azzarello, Dick Cheney,I'm sure Jimmy Palmiotti has something to do with it, Warren Ellis, Shade the Changing table, Swamp Thing, Angie Spatchcock, The Chipmunks, Scooby Doo, the Super Friends, The Guild of Calamitous Intent, Peter Jackson, Benicio Del Toro, Johnny Depp, Don Quixote, Franz Kafka, Aristotle, Saul/Paul, and King Solomon. Sean Connery probably has his hand in there somewhere, and Hugo Chavez and Barack Obama. Stephen Moffat, And Bill O'Reilley, Noam Chomsky and Pat Buchanan and Lawrence O'Donnell and Rachel Maddow and Jon Stewart, and Mark Patterson.

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The thing is, you people posting these satirical perspectives on how they seem to see negative press are going to be taken out of context as what this forum is all about. That's what they did with the Constanteen thing, remember?

 

Also, didn't someone already use that line about "there's a couple of websites"?

It sounds familiar.

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I'm still enjoying this arc more than anything else Milligan has done on the series. Which is to say that I'm not actually repulsed by it, and don't regret paying for it. I gave it a 6. That's probably being WAY too generous, but hey, I was in a good mood.

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WeAOx.jpg?1

 

Aw, fuck you, Milligan! Fuck you and the battered panto horse you rode on! :witchhunt:

I think you guys are being just a tiny bit paranoid that this is supposed to be a dig at us.

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