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JohnMcMahon

Constantine : The Important Questions, pt.1

  

16 members have voted

  1. 1. Will "From The Pages Of Justice League Dark!" appear on the cover(s) ?

    • Yes!
      9
    • No!
      7
  2. 2. Bonus tie-breaker : Will John be smoking on the (majority of) cover(s) ?

    • Yes!
      6
    • No!
      10


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I voted yes to both.

I'd imagine they'll want to hook as many of the JLD readers with the "from the pages of..." hook.

I'd also think that the smoking will be seen as shorthand for how "edgy" and "dangerous" Constantine is. So he'll be smoking for a while, until they're told that 8 year olds are smoking, drawing sigils and summoning demons, then they'll tone it down.

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loo1.976b.jpg

 

Edgy, y-y-y-y-you say ?

 

You won't believe me but it's true. I've been thinking of doing that exact thing, post a "that's all f-f-f-folks!" Image Because that stupid cover has always reminded me of that.

 

And when will DC be pressured by the anti-smoking gestapo to make John quit smoking? See, when he does it, it looks so cool. That must be a horrible message for young men and women who will inevitably use John as a role model. Does DC want that kind of albatross round its neck? The future ghosts of millions of children who have grown into their 50s or so and then died of lung cancer because they couldn't find any silk cut and also couldn't piss off a devil so much he cured them?

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They better put "from the page of Justice League Dark" on the cover. That's where today's fans were introduced to the edgy, controversial character known as John Constantine.

 

For the second question, no. John will quit smoking when he realizes Nick Necro doesn't smoke, and John always does whatever Nick Necro does.

In a future story-arc, John will realize that you shouldn't follow others, especially negative role models, and learn to make decisions for himself. It will be a real learning experience. There will even be a touching message from Zatanna at the end explaining the moral of the story to John.

"John, Nick Necro doesn't smoke, but he told you to smoke, didn't he?" "Yeah. Yeah, he did. I guess I see your point." "That's right, John. Following others is never a good idea. You should live above the influence." "Yeah. Smokers are jokers, Zee!"

Slowly, John will learn many moral lessons in the DCU. In the end, he will only practice Wiccan white magic and Dr. Fate lots of sparklers magic, which polls will show is more acceptable with today's DC audience rather than messing with demons.

When he teams up with Robin, he will learn that it's not ok to swear. "Batman told me never to use that kind of language, Mr. Constantine. I think a potty mouth is a bad thing." "You're right kid. I say bollocks to bollocks!".

He'll be a good role model yet. It was just that dastardly Nick Necro's influence that held the poor kid back.

Look at that cover to #0. Tell me, does he look like such a bad kid?

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ugh, I think I need to go start a fight and get beaten up so I'll have something to lament over that isn't John Constantine. How bad does it hurt to get beaten up? I haven't been in an actual fight in almost 30 years. How do I make a fist? Does the thumb go under the fingers or over them? What's a hay-maker? Yep, I should get the shit beaten out of me very easily. A chump like me doesn't come along very often to a person who fights. He might even get to impress his girl while teaching me a lesson.

 

That lesson being "don't get emotionally invested in comics." I'd be fine if you guys didn't either.

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Remember when Azz put out that SW Manor arc and the first thing that went up on the DC forums was a thread called "Sweet musk of his balls WTF"? The contents of that thread were comedy gold.

  • Upvote 2

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dig it up? when I first got on here, the "is John bi-sexual" thread was going on strong full of all these users who didn't post anywhere else in the forum.

  • Upvote 1

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I'd say it needs a while (and perhaps some publicity) to get a meaningful result.

 

23 people so far, so mention it on your favourite comics website!

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