Jump to content
slinker

299, and they keep getting worse!

Recommended Posts

SPOILERS,and I'm not obscuring them!

 

 

All you need to know about this abortive turd display are these: bitter fat Angie, now Epiphany is a murderer too, the nephew who didn't exist until a few issues back is back and guess who he fucks...and the best part: guess who appears on the last page but not as a dead guy! Go on, guess!

 

I'll be honest, this issue made me so mad I yelled at a stranger accidentally at an inopportune time for us both. I apologized, but Peter Milligan is deciding he hates comics, and this is how he'll leave them forever. I want his car to break down, his lover to be unfaithful, his favorite possessions to be lost from him forever. I want him to hate all his favorite songs, book and movies, and I want a total stranger to walk up to him and kick him in the goddamned balls. Fuck his artless ass!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Incidentally I just saw the preview pages and it seems the art work has deteriorated to worse than when Frusin was faxing it in.

 

Can't say I blame anyone for not giving a damn.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not giving a damn would probably be a lot healthier than the approach slinker is taking above.

Slinks, just let it go, mate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've given up trying to address the bitter nerdrage that some folks express when their favourite comics are not produced to their satisfaction. As you all know, the last issue of Hellblazer I purchased was the one where Gemma plays rapist bait. And that was an attempt to give the current creative direction another go.

 

Some else said that this may be editorial policy to make Constanteeny seem more palatable.

Anyway, check this out:

 

http://magazine3k.com/comics/english/70890/hellblazer-298-2013.html

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you think Peter Milligan has issues with scousers that he is working out here?

(I note that Mike Carey's finest issue is also subject to the daubing of what my learned friend, Mr Slinker, refers to in excremental terms.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SPOILERS,and I'm not obscuring them!

 

 

All you need to know about this abortive turd display are these: bitter fat Angie, now Epiphany is a murderer too, the nephew who didn't exist until a few issues back is back and guess who he fucks...and the best part: guess who appears on the last page but not as a dead guy! Go on, guess!

 

I'll be honest, this issue made me so mad I yelled at a stranger accidentally at an inopportune time for us both. I apologized, but Peter Milligan is deciding he hates comics, and this is how he'll leave them forever. I want his car to break down, his lover to be unfaithful, his favorite possessions to be lost from him forever. I want him to hate all his favorite songs, book and movies, and I want a total stranger to walk up to him and kick him in the goddamned balls. Fuck his artless ass!

 

Oh, god...Gemma or the Mary Sue?...

 

Guess, I'll have to do the honors then.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That Arrow logo being the first thing to grace your eyes is quite jarring.

I know we're beyond quality control by this point....but I can at least hope that the final issue doesn't have a big advertising logo plastered above the actual comic cover.

Like, maybe the front cover can still look kind of classy for the final issue, even though the contents are approaching the level of cheap romance novel pabulum.

Hey, maybe Milligan is doing people like Slinker a favour. Maybe he's trying to make them so angry at the book that they'll be glad when the book is axed next month.

Can we see a picture of Milligan crucified on a cross? He sacrificed him work, and his reputation, for all of us!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hoo boy! Milligan loves tearing the Carey era apart, huh?

  • The role of Angie Spatchcock will be now played by Victoria Bush of Bad Girls fame? Check
  • Finn and the Mary Sue fuck? Check
  • Rule 63 Lukhavim? Check (pity it didn't rip Phaney's head off before Fat Angie fucked it all up, but hey!- it's Milligan we're talking about)
  • Another funeral ending in John turning up alive (he's never read #77, huh?)
  • Mouse Blonde Gemma returns? Check

Congratulations, Peter Milligan! You're the latest in hack writers and editors I'd love to take out back and shoot execution-style! Get you funeral wreath ready, motherfucker!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, at least John showed up after the funeral this time, instead of at the funeral. See? That's original!

This issue gets a score of 1 from me. Probably not even worth that much. This is near the bottom of the pile for worst HB stories ever written, alongside other Milligan stories I'm trying to forget. Where's the poll?

 

Next up:Amethyst #4 featuring John Constantine. Yes...I seriously bought that.

It'll probably end up better than #299 anyway. Which wouldn't be hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Y'know I was never a big fan of Angie but the stuff with her in this issue is just horrible, really grim and bordering on the insulting.

 

I never liked Angie, but Milligan seems to have some sort of problem. I'd just, you know, not use Angie ever again and forget about her. Because, I didn't like her, see.

 

Ah, I guessed Deadman to Slinker's cryptid clue. I thought he was being relaunched as Liveman, the most generic character ever written. I thought we were finally getting the Justice League Dark team-up story we've been begging for.

"Look, Piffy! I'm alive again. Younger. With a tattoo. And, I'm moving to America to be with my mates."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Come on, there's only one issue left for me to rail at, and then it's done, gone. I'm not going to have the same attachment to Heckblazer, which i've gotten lots of people I know using Heckblazer as the preferred nomenclature because it's perfect and you all should too, you know if that does anything for you, like me. But I'm not ever going to rail on it unless it somehow kicks ass beyond all reasonable expectation. Don't take that from me! :wank:

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Taken as a comic book wot I read for entertainment, I didn't mind it. I liked the recurring shots of Epiphany reacting with shock to the sight of someone off-panel, after which you have to turn the page to see who it is; we're all expecting John, so it's a clever tease. What actually happened in this issue, the plot as distinct from the script, seemed fine, although I'm not sure if the [ Spoiler : shooting ] (illustrated with the same technique as John cutting off his thumb) was authentically harrowing or just throwaway. The panel of the severed head was certainly gruesome.

 

Taken as the second-last issue of Hellblazer, I did mind it. As usual, the dialogue was unskilled ("Lucky I put her number on my speed dial!") and the art was (IMHO) unsuitable. Something about the gender politics of Angie and the Lukhavim didn't feel right. And the timing of the confrontation in the hospital funeral home was odd: what was the Lukhavim doing while Angie got dressed, fetched the mud (the f*cking consecrated mud), and travelled to the funeral home? Milligan seems to acknowledge this with "How much time has passed? Minutes? Hours?" so hopefully it's significant.

 

Once again, I'm keen to see where he's going with this. But it still feels like it's not very well written.

 

Here's an explanation of a Brompton cocktail: http://en.wikipedia....ompton_cocktail

 

EDIT: Funeral home, not hospital.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lots of what JasonT said, combined with very little of what Slinker and Demon Chas said. I don't think Peter Milligan/Dan Didio hate the character, or the fans, or that they're maliciously or lazily producing bad comics - indeed, with a few reservations (mainly the stilted dialogue and a weirdly aggressive approach to Angie - I can't for the life of me see what purpose her repeated appearances in Milligan's run have actually served, beyond spuriously boosting the status of a current love interest by downplaying the credibility of an earlier one - I had my problems with the way Angie's role in Carey's run ended up, but Milligan is effectively writing a completely different character here, and the specific way he's doing it leaves a fairly nasty taste in my mouth), I thought this was a perfectly adequate issue. Just not one I enjoyed very much.

 

I don't think the personal animosity and untempered rage with which some people have responded to the last dozen issues or so are justified or sensible, and making death threats against an author who's written something you don't like - even when those threats are clearly hyperbolic and not sincerely meant - isn't on. It's exactly that sort of thing which makes it so easy to dismiss any valid criticisms which emerge from the cesspool which is online nerditry - sorry, Demon Chas, and I appreciate how strongly you feel about this, but there's no call whatsoever for threats of violence against Milligan. Or Dan Didio, or anyone else. Stop it.

 

But as JasonT says, I think this is a very poor way to wrap up Hellblazer. There are some good ideas in there, but there's very little new or revelatory, and there's a distinct sense that the plug was pulled late enough in the day that Milligan simply didn't have enough advance notice to have been able to bring his run to a head in a satisfying manner.

 

I still don't have any visceral hatred for what Milligan's been doing on the title - I even think his take on Constantine as a character is largely valid, even though it's not one I care for personally. It's no more incompatible with what's gone before than Ennis' version of the character was when his run started, after all, and most of the more iffy moments of characterisation can at least be rationalized away using examples from the past. The bit with the train crash last issue is one of the only moments where I think his take on John has just felt flat-out wrong, and that could well have been down to a failure to adequately explain what was actually going on, rather than a fundamental misunderstanding of the character. The whole thing just isn't for me - no more, no less.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

was that lecture meant for me? go back and show me a death threat. And honestly, I'm appalled at the near acceptance some of you creatures seem to be giving it. Like what they are doing is ok, and you'd willingly pay for it. Why, you act like you merely ate something too salty for your tastes, not something that's made out of shit. Man up, sir!

 

Do, you know what happens in real life when you spend so much time with someone while having a fundamental misunderstanding of their character? You're either being indoctrinated into a cult, about to be tortured and eaten by that character just as it dawns on you you misjudged them, or they run off with your wife and/or girlfriend. Misunderstanding a character you are creating more than defeats its purpose, it salts the land so nothing can ever grow there again. I am confident that time will prove me correct. But then, what of ye who have so vastly underestimated the real cost here?

 

This isn't merely cancellation, it's deconstruction. This is how revisionist history gets started in the real world. There's no such thing as genocide if you wipe out an entire race and everybody else who knew they existed. Pragmatism will only rot the support beams of the base on which you stand, not help you see eye to eye with anyone except whoever else was standing next to you when it collapsed.

 

:witchhunt: :mong:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
And the timing of the confrontation in the hospital was odd: what was the Lukhavim doing while Angie got dressed, fetched the mud (the f*cking consecrated mud), and travelled to the funeral home?

 

Meant to mention that myself, was she just running round the gaff Benny Hill style till Angie showed up ?

 

And honestly, I'm appalled at the near acceptance some of you creatures seem to be giving it. Like what they are doing is ok, and you'd willingly pay for it. Why, you act like you merely ate something too salty for your tastes, not something that's made out of shit. Man up, sir!

 

It's a comic, and these days not a very good one, who really cares if it goes away for a little while ?

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Naah, you weren't the intended target of that particular comment, this was:

 

Congratulations, Peter Milligan! You're the latest in hack writers and editors I'd love to take out back and shoot execution-style! Get you funeral wreath ready, motherfucker!!

 

 

If you don't see how the above, or the fact that your chosen analogy is genocide, are slightly inappropriate reactions to the cancellation of a comic book which you aren't even enjoying reading then I don't know what else I can say which might persuade you. That's the sort of bullshit which gets any and all nerd criticism dismissed as the futile howling of the Internet Hate Machine, and understandably so.

 

I'm upset too. But this sort of tone doesn't actually achieve anything except getting you ignored. I actually *sympathise* with people's frustrations about the way the book's been written over the past few years, and that doesn't stop my eyes from glazing over when I encounter yet another THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED rant about it. It depends what the purpose of the ranting is - if it's just to vent frustrations then fair enough, knock yourself out. But if you want anyone to actually listen to it or take it seriously, then tone is important. Hyperbole has its place, but when it's all you ever come out with (and this is a generic "you", not directed at yourself personally) it ceases to have meaning.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×