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Demon Chas08

Revisitations 5: The Brian Azzarello Affair (2000-2002)

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Highwater was alright; about as subtle as a boot in the face, but serviceable. A New Coat Of Red Paint was fucking terrible, and god I wish Azzarello didn't have such a raging boner for 'being naughty.' This sort of lame-ass shock value doesn't work when (a) the reader isn't 14 years old and (b) you never do anything else, ever.

 

How did someone so blatantly misogynistic end up writing for Hellblazer anyway? Virgins and whores; nothing in between. I don't expect anyone to match Delano's militant feminism, but even in the depths of Ennis' lad-worship, the series always has great women, and the beeg American teeties on constant parade really stick out like a sore thumb.

 

And he really just can't write John, can he? Most of the time he reads more like Lono, who I didn't realise Azzarello loved so much.

 

Why couldn't A. Heathen have been the editor? "Constantine may be a bastard, but he's not a cunt" is exactly the feedback that would've solved a lot of this shit.

 

SO MANY BURNING QUESTIONS

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The reason I don't care for 'lapdogs' is because it segues into Good Intentions, which I liked at first but didn't like upon revisitation. In fact, I consider lapdogs as part of Good Intentions, since its main 2 characters feature so prominently in Good Intentions.

 

And he really just can't write John, can he? Most of the time he reads more like Lono, who I didn't realise Azzarello loved so much.

 

That is an interesting point. I totally agree with the first sentence. The second sentence I find intriguing.

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Basically, Brian outed himself as someone who knew shit-all about the Internet, except that he liked porn.

 

Well you can (as of the last couple of years) rent servers pretty cheap (e.g. amazon ec2). You could also just host a website, were you could buy dvds and get them via post. For all that stuff you only need like a satellite uplink, a laptop and a camera, which should'nt all in all be that expensive, considering that a cloud hoster or dvd on demand scales really good with the number of customers.

 

The thing was that the setting (a little village fucked by economy) offered a lot potential imo. Azarello just didn't deliver, which sums up his run pretty much. The stories never had a message, a second layer of interpretation. All in all they were all about cheap shocking moments (that don't work in comics imho). Yeah the opening arc was ok, but every [over-used word] can write a decent opening. He seemed just to have no clue on where to go with john and it seemed like he never had much to tell as an author. I mean you can of cause write a graphic novel that solely works with simple action scenes, straight forward storytelling and the depth of puddle in the sahara, but you can't do that to hellblazer. It is a bit as if some student of Micheangelo suddenly decided that the sistine chapel ceiling needed some greek vase style nude manlove motives. You can generally do it, just try to remember a little about the respect to what you are doing it. Still better than milligan though (still haven't read past two-hundred-something-seventy).

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but why Ashes and Dust? He hadn't fucked himself in the ass yet, as far as his legacy with the book is concerned. it's like he wrote something so bad in order to get out of a contract or something. because it's the worst thing i ever read. the dialogue is insipid - and actually, the dialogue is the whole reason i hate Ashes. the story itself isn't the worst thing ever, but the innuendo between Turro and Havlik is just dumb, and the way all the characters talk is what it must sound like to ride the short bus to school every day. The long con on Stanley didn't seem realistic or that it was worth john's time to pull.

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The motive and execution of the con seemed pretty out of charakter too i think. Maybe he hated the charakter, or the comic, or the fanbase. Maybe he wanted to have like one comic series where he personally jumped the shark. I have no effin clue. But the question of the "why" is pretty common for people who have witnessed a trauma, so i guess under the circumstances we should try to sue azzarello for compensatory damages or something...

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