Neil Lambess

Damn my new avatars hard to make out , but yes it is Mr reeves and Yes it is genuine.....

hehehe

Gah.................

It was worse than I imagined (and thats no mean feat)

as a cinematic experience it was akin to backing a truck over a hedgehog........slowly

the other Three people in the audience didnt like it either

The weird thing was, that at the end , it really didnt seem like a Constantine movie at all as the whole thing was so far removed from the original character that it was just like watching some bog standard , no brainer, hollywood crap, action flick (so when it was all over i was quite surprised that i felt quite distanced from the whole thing as there was nothing there i reconised as been quintessentialy John Constantine

poor keanu, one of the newspaper critics said that commenting on his acting inability was a bit like like shooting fish in a barrel

PS: my new avatar is only temporary!

cool thanks for that...

its a refreshing blast from the past for those of us still around from the days when john was part of the DC universe.....

sorry if ive missed something

but am i the only one reading/ enjoying johns character over in BOOKS OF MAGIC/ LIFE DURING WARTIME?

its kinda fun seeing him interact with Zattanna and being the most bastardy hes been for bloody years

and the book seems to be 50/50 him and Tim Hunter at the moment

well worth checking out

well for what its worth here are some of the character traits which seem to be consistent to me over the years

I think that one of the key components of Constantine is that he adapts to any situation in whatever way he thinks best at the time...he always follows his own agenda. and as readers we seldom know what hes up to

this gives him a great unpredictability as he rarely reacts the same way twice

hes not that proactive.....trouble seems to find him rather than the other way around. and in that sense hes a metaphor for most of us, and how we fight our own demons

hes us between heaven and hell , a reflection of our duality between buddist intentions and hedonistic realitys, a modern day Faust

but when his games on hes the ultimate chess player and you never know whos gonna be used as a pawn or a knight. when hes on top form , he always appears to have a knowledge of the bigger picture,and where all the pieces are on the board. sometimes its a bluff, sometimes he hasnt got a clue , but he always leaves us and what hes up against second geussing right down to the wire

theres two "scenes" for me that sum him up

one is issue 44 page 14 where he stands outside Big Ben and disses blind faith and belief in anything that has power over us if we let it. to John "everyone votes for a dictator" and it ties in nicely to his "Apolitical correctness" Hes his own man and his relationships always fail because he wont compromise that

and the other is a recent posting on the IMDB about the movie and the scene with Constantine saying

"into the light i command thee !"

wheras the comic book version would say

"sod off you daft C......T "

thats our boy! and thats my two cents worth

KAMANDI: THE LAST BOY ON EARTH

no wait a minute , I thought this was the slash fiction thread........:)

you know if they changed the title to CONSTANTINE some innocent religiously devoted people might buy it thinking it was the true tales of ST CONSTANTINE, put it in sunday schools , give it to small children and old people in nursing homes and really warp their fragille little minds....

HELL YES LETS CHANGE IT GUYS!!!!!

some further title change suggestions in light of the Movie

CONSTANTITTIES

CONSTANTPAIN

THE AMAZING CONSTANTINE

LEGENDS OF THE DARK CONSTANTINE

CONSTANTINE ADVENTURES (based on the hit animated series)

CONSTANTINE : THE LAST BOY ON EARTH

CRISIS ON INFANT CONSTANTINE

THE LEGION OF SUPER MAGES

CONSTANTINE: LONDON NIGHTS

PLASTIC MAC

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF DORKING

and lastly my personal favorite

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLLOCKS

well Gabriel would be a demon by now wouldnt he....wasnt the whole point of what Jon was doing by cutting off his wings?, I always saw the first crushing his heart as claiming ownership off him.....( two ex angels in hell...hmmmmm)

lets dive into our back issues and check....

actually im inclined to think "ratboy" is Gabriel AKA the snob

it all fits.... hes known Constantine for a very long time (possibly longer than chas)

has a good motive (the whole chainsawing of wings things...need to get out of helll

is on limited power..... and was last seen having his heart squeezed by the first of the fallen...

ladies and gentlemen .....place your bets...

yep i reckon the novels will have multiple authors....

still.... time will tell

the harder to walk when you can fly line is probably metaphor.....as "ratboy " isnt used to been tied to the material plane... (besides that they are obviously driving not walking, which makes me think its a metaphorical line....)

ummm sounds to me like shes writing a spin off NOVEL........ not the comic...

(more rampant speculation)

Keanus great in

MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO.....

(as yes i AM been serious AND nice.......)

Ive even pre-ordered the 2 disc Criterion DVD thats about to come out of IDAHO

eeekkkkkk

how dare Richard corliss INSULT BLADE RUNNER !!!!!!!

heres a scan of the New Zealand HERALD version of the press release....

connie.bmp

Nope its definatly just him with cardboard wings......

(probably the international version.......)

where are those guys in christchurch New zealand when we need them......

hehehehe

do the american cinemas have the CONSTANTINE theatre standee with the cardboard (very apt i thought) life size cut out of keanu with a pair of bloody great ANGEL wings attached to his back......

Now is it just me or is everybodys first reaction upon seeing it to grab the nearest chainsaw and hack those bloody wings off.....

:)

WINGS!!!! angel WINGs!!!!!!!! on CONSTANTINE!!!!!!!

DOH

the above should be in the BITTER THREAD.....

too many threads open and my grasp on technology is failing....

this is somewhat spooky (and im not kidding)

just after reading the bastardisation comic book adaptation of the crapolla CONSTANTINE i developed a intense pain under my left ribs.....

After a few days it was so bad i ended up in hospital where it was discovered i have GALLSTONES and need to get my gall bladder out

now as the gall bladder produces BILE , i claim the top no prize for producing the most Bile ridden reaction/attack due to the CONSTANTINE movie....

Im just annoyed it hurt so much

I wonder if i can sue WARNERS though????

heheheheh

AHA

Ratboy is quite obviously........ RAY MONDE

nope just kidding.....

at first i put my money my money on either Johns father which would be a nice father/son/grandkids way to go with the story arc,or mabye Alisteir Crowley who got linked in with the demon Conjob in the first place and has the magical nads to help him out

but then i noticed this bit of narration guys....

"here john, if you would be theseus, let me play ariadne...."

taken literally the rats FEMALE

any one for ELLE?

Its tempting to fly to christchurch from whangarei guys.........

failing that why dont we "seed" information to the destiny church to protest at all screenings of the flick??? hehehe

:ph34r:

You can apply to extradite foreign citizens.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

righto ill remember that next time im overseas...

just in case

Oh dear God Noooooooo

the comics actually worse than i could ever have thought.

theres a couple of interesting points it raises though,

It appears that, in the script at least ,Conjob is english as when Angela is checking his past out on the computer there is a panel saying that England wants to extradite him back there...

Im pretty sure you can only extradite your own citizens back from a foriegn country to your own, so therefore the implication is that Conjob is British . I wonder if Warners will read this and edit that shot out?

Oh dear and as for the rest. well lets be thankfull that Keanu was cast after all because if it was someone we actually wanted in the role , our dissapointment would be SO much greater. NO actor could rescue this steaming pile of shite.....

and as for the user friendly way of getting into hell , i can see thousands of US children holding the family cat and splashing their feet in a tub of water.....

"what are you doing Billy?"

"im playing Constantine Mummy"

"thats nice Billy, im so glad those nice people at WARNERS didnt use nasty and easily imitated pentacles, candles, blood and chants that could actually summon a demon and send my family to Hell "

"hooray for Warner Bros Mummy"

of course i can ALSO easily see thousands of US children confusing the feet in the bathtub with the electric chair scene and droping working hairdryers into the water to "surf the Ectonet"

heh

and is it just me or does the movie seem to be a bit of an advert for suicide? in the "jump off buildings,slash youre wrists,electrocute yourself, meet interesting demons" sort of way? .......not that the target audience is susceptable teenage girls in anyway

whatsoever...............er hang on a minute !

and whats with this Homophobic Balthazar "finger licking good" crap??? whats the bet hes portrayed as camp and effeminate as well? judging by his dress sense in the comic (he appears to be wearing PINK in my copy) i expect were going to see something that would have poor old Ray Monde spinning in his grave

SIGH

if it had been a good versionof the comic , then the alternate universe tagline would read...

"Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him.

.............we're fu#ked ! "

(with a poster of a grinning John giving the finger to the viewer)

my sugestion for the version we actually got is

"debased on the original comic book"

(with the current artwork of Keanu sucking on a fag)

For what I know they underperformed critically but made a HUGE amount of money worldwide. Check any box-office site on the web to easily confirm that. I doubt WB is complaining about overseas money right now...

 

(well they stiffed here!)

 

If you´re saying  wich movie do  you prefer, that´s right. But if you´re saying that in order to choose wich one your theater will be showing, that´s odd. Their dates could not be more apart... Batman is a summer movie.

(US release dates mean sod all in other countries, sometimes we even get movies before the us SHARK TALE (another stiff) and XMEN 2 (Huge) and often hold stuff back because of season variations .its summer here now )

Open at number one says nothing nowadays. Alexander will fall in most of countries after the first week.

(not according to todays NZ HERALD its apparently a solid performer , But then they are interviewing Oliver Stone at the same time as they say that :p )

Anyway, never heard that theater managers put of trailers because of audience reaction. How unusual.

(we get reccomendations over what trailer goes where ,but unlike America we apear to have a greater freedom of choice (how odd) about whats selected to go in front of which movie... theres no hard and fast rules.....BELIEVE me Ocean i would desperatly love to be proved wrong by CONNIE but everytime i try to give it the benefit of the doubt something negative about it comes to light...

any way sometime after feburary well know either way....