milkman
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Posts posted by milkman
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DO YOU THINK THAT WE'RE NOT ALREADY WELL A-FUCKING-WARE OF THAT LITTLE NUGGET??????
If you don't like the comics and you don't like the look of the film why on earth are you wasting precious seconds of you life wondering about what people say about it on the fucking internet?
Why are you getting so upset about? The only thing i said that i think its a plant by some of the things in the article. Not trying to start any trouble here at all. IF you think it's a real review, then go for it. What ever makes you happy right? personally, I don't think it is, and that's why i'm saying what i'm saying.
If you're going to get so upset over that opinion as well, then why is this message board here in the first place?
It was only a opinion people!
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Of course they do - not everyone's going to think along the same lines!
For every Spider-Man reader who goes bugshit over the lack of mechanical webshooters in the movies, you'll have twenty who love the flicks for capturing the heart and soul of a struggling Peter Parker seeking release in being able to web his way across New York.
You're not really comparing Spiderman to Constantine are you? The changes in Spiderman were small compard with the changes in Constantine. Changes that even the most casual of readers are not happy with, plus Spiderman still had it's core, something i think Constantine does not have.
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Comic Book guys are extremely militant in their views about something sacred being tampered with.
See, that's a load of bollocks.
It's an oft-stated perception in popular media like television and movies but that doesn't make it true.
From what I've read (including the script) about the movie, it wouldn't surprise me if the lines I quoted end up representing my own view of the flick and I'm a "comic book guy".
A lot of your posts seem unduly concerned with possibly planted reviews.
The people i know and talk to think in another way then.
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The reason I think it’s a plant is because of these clues.
(We’ll see. For now, here’s a review from the press screenings held last week in LA. I talked to one of the guys working at Meltdown Comics on Sunset the other day, and he really loved the movie. He was pretty critical walking into it, too. Let’s see what today’s reviewer thought...
Hi--)
Comic Book guys are extremely militant in their views about something sacred being tampered with. I have talked to three comic book storeowners in my area and they are not happy with the changes the movie has. If the comic book guy in Moriarty’s rant liked the movie a lot, what does he not like about the film? Now you know a comic book geek (no offence to those who are) will list what’s wrong with the film as well.
(But I was wined and dined (well, fed popcorn and soda) and seated in a comfy, comfy seat all for free, so that does make it well worth the price. As seating isn't guaranteed at a screening, even if your name is on the list, I hoofed it to the Grauman's 6 on Hollywood Blv. about an hour and a half early, armed with books. There were a handful of people there already, so we took our place in line. Close to showtime, they let us know that due to the amount of press that showed up, there would only be two rows open for non-press. We were in that cut, so we got issued our refreshments and taken upstairs to a private entrance to the two VIP rows up above the common masses. If you ever wondered how celebrities manage to see movies without being mobbed, wonder no longer. Each row was wide with a ledge in front of it and the back row (ours) was high enough over the other one that their heads didn't even come up to the top of our ledge, much less obstruct the view. The chairs were in pairs, huge overstuffed leatherette seats that rocked and padded middle arm rests that raised to make it a generously sized loveseat for two. I'll miss those chairs! There was even a private lounge/bathroom.)
The only person who starts off a review like that is the people who write for Ain’t it cool news themselves, and they write that to compliment who ever got them in to a screening.
Baron Midnight? I though he was called papa midnight.
(I know next to nothing about the character from the comics, so I’ll be watching the film without any preconceptions, and I’m curious to see if my reaction is different because of that. So far, word of mouth on this one runs from decent to pretty darn good, and I’m excited to be seeing it in a couple of weeks.)
Really? Where are these positive reviews? The reviews I have read so far gone from lukewarm to really bad.
Plus You really think Ain’t it cool News will print a negative review now that they are going to have a screening with the director there?
The review lists a lot of negatives as well but read it closely and it reads like someone doing a soft sell.
Maybe i'm jumping the gun with the last review which was a plant and If I’m wrong then I will amid it but this reviews feels too contrive to be taken seriously.
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Another Review Of CONSTANTINE!!
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
AICN and The American Cinematheque are going to be presenting a screening of CONSTANTINE at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood on February 14th. What better way to spend Valentine’s night, right? We’re going to have director Francis Lawrence there, which should be a blast, and I may even cajole another guest or two into showing up. We’ll see. For now, here’s a review from the press screenings held last week in LA. I talked to one of the guys working at Meltdown Comics on Sunset the other day, and he really loved the movie. He was pretty critical walking into it, too. Let’s see what today’s reviewer thought...
Hi--
Thought you might be interested in my review of Constantine. It's my first review, so be gentle...
I just got back from an advance screening of Constantine. I've been reading about John since he first showed up in Swamp Thing during Alan Moore's stint as writer. After hearing about the changes and Moore having his name removed from the credits, I was leery of actually paying to see it.
Warning, contains spoilers!
But I was wined and dined (well, fed popcorn and soda) and seated in a comfy, comfy seat all for free, so that does make it well worth the price. As seating isn't guaranteed at a screening, even if your name is on the list, I hoofed it to the Grauman's 6 on Hollywood Blv. about an hour and a half early, armed with books. There were a handful of people there already, so we took our place in line. Close to showtime, they let us know that due to the amount of press that showed up, there would only be two rows open for non-press. We were in that cut, so we got issued our refreshments and taken upstairs to a private entrance to the two VIP rows up above the common masses. If you ever wondered how celebrities manage to see movies without being mobbed, wonder no longer. Each row was wide with a ledge in front of it and the back row (ours) was high enough over the other one that their heads didn't even come up to the top of our ledge, much less obstruct the view. The chairs were in pairs, huge overstuffed leatherette seats that rocked and padded middle arm rests that raised to make it a generously sized loveseat for two. I'll miss those chairs! There was even a private lounge/bathroom.
Oh, you want to hear about the movie? So pushy!
Keanu just can't seem to get the hang of this acting thing. He was obviously trying hard, I'll give him that. At least I didn't have to listen to his attempt to butcher an English accent.
The changes? John Constantine isn't an Englishman, it's set in Los Angeles and he's the product of a nasty childhood only because his clueless parents had him studied and subjected to such fun things as shock treatment for his seeing what most people can't. As a teen he rather understandably tried to commit suicide, but was brought back back by modern medicine. For this crime he's damned to hell when he dies.
In a Mexican ruined church in the middle of a desert, a scruffy, unwashed fellow who hangs around such places for fun finds a buried treasure of a fancy ass spearhead that makes him invulnerable and starts on a beeline to Los Angeles, wreaking cars and leaping over barbed wire fences on the way.
Meanwhile, back in stately LA, John, chain smoking all the while, gets called in to cast a demon out of a girl in a crowded tenement, which he does by casting it into a huge mirror that he tosses out the window and onto the cab of his driver/wannabe apprentice, Chas. Yup, Chas! Instead of being the put upon, hen-pecked friend that John guilts or blackmails to drive him around he's been turned into an eager puppy who idolizes John. Poor Chas...
After being horrified at managing to shoot another bad guy, a LA police detective, Angela Dodson, played by Rachel Weisz, dreams of her twin sister jumping off of the roof of a hospital to crash artistically through a skylight and into a pool. She goes to view the scene of the crime and has her first run in with John who'd there to get the bad news about his lung cancer. You didn't think a movie these days could have a hero who chain smokes and gets away with it, did you? Not bloody likely. I know it's a plotline from the comic, Hellblazer, but it still rings with a bit of 'I told you so' smugness here. It's far from the last of the bits that are lifted from the comic and fitted into a patchwork plot, while still leaving out some of the best lines and John's basic nature.
He runs into the detective again at the church, where she's gone to argue with the priest about her sister not getting a catholic burial. Suicides are damned, remember? John's gone to argue with Gabriel (Tilda Swinton) about being likewise damned. Swinton is the best thing about the movie. Her androgynous, snooty, sanctimonious portrayal of the archangel is spot on. John is SOL, since he's only doing good to earn a Get Out Of Hell Free card, and he knows there's a God, so he can't have faith. And this is supposed to be the good side? I wouldn't mind, but the movie keeps trying to push the forces of God as the heroic side to be on, instead of just admitting they're each just as shifty here.
Basic plot: Heaven and Hell have a truce. Neither side is allowed to walk the earth, only use 'halfbreeds' to influence and whisper in the ears. The son of Lucifer, Mammon, wished to bring about his own Apocalypse as foretold in the sections only in Hell's edition of the Bible. Don't you wish publishers would mark abridged editions? He just needs the Spear of Destiny, see above, and a powerful psychic to break through.
Detective Dodson's twin sister was the first psychic so guess who's the first on the list to be a doorway? She admits to John that she made herself stop seeing the unseen as a child. His cure when she wants it back is to mostly drown her in his bathtub. That is just the sort of thing John does...
John's contact for relics and information dies a familiar death for long time readers of Hellblazer, and John manages to pop together from the deader's odds and ends in two minutes flat a huge, gaudy cross-shaped gun that would have the real John laughing until he'd pissed himself.
Random bits: Hell is a CG Hell, full of scuttering, long limbed demons, rusted cars and a neverending blast furnace wind, sort of like Phoenix in the summertime. Baron Midnight looks more like a pimp, instead of a Voodoun hougun. There's more tangled Catholic doctrine then at a church social, and the use that the aforementioned gun comes to is a rip of a scene in Blade.
Satan is played as a pervy old guy in a messy white suit that looks like he took time off from offering candy for a peek at their panties to underaged girls to show up. I never understand why evil is so often shown as ugly. Beauty is such a better lure, and Lucifer is supposed to have been the loveliest of the angels. Maybe it's just me, but I'd have been happier with someone like Julian Sands playing Ultimate Evil. It would have shown how little difference there is here between him and Gabriel here.
It was better than expected, but it could have been so much better. If I'd gone to a bargain showing looking for a couple hours entertainment and an excuse to eat popcorn, I wouldn't have been completely cheated, but I've had to pay for some true dogs. It was better by far than League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and From Hell, also both based on Alan Moore's comics, but it wasn't the John Constantine I know, except in flashes. The cinematography is trying for artistic but occasionally it tries so hard it's very obtrusive. Okay, the bit with the cat amused me greatly, but I already knew that about cats.
And the scene at the end of the credits is lacking a great deal of profanity on John's part...
Tiirz
I know next to nothing about the character from the comics, so I’ll be watching the film without any preconceptions, and I’m curious to see if my reaction is different because of that. So far, word of mouth on this one runs from decent to pretty darn good, and I’m excited to be seeing it in a couple of weeks.
Is it me or does it seem like Aint it cool news is trying to sell the film?
Any thoughts? : :rolleyes:
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A poster called "Mcrowjunction" posted up his own review....
"I saw this a few weeks ago in LA and it suckes hard here is a spoiler review.
Kris, thanks very much for posting Mcrowjunction's review. I've never read anything that ties together all the criticisms that I've read about the film so well, and it dovetails to an almost frightening degree with the view taken by the comic adaptation. If anyone wanted to read only one review of Constantine, this is the one I'd recommend. Thanks again.
I thought his review was the most honest review i have read about it so far, he got an absolute barracking from firefliesrus as a result but then again, most of us who have expressed our dismay with this film have received a relative amount of boorish and truculent behaviour from that suffering, misspelling buffoon.
It's a really great review. Who thinks that someone is going to take it, rewrite it to make it look favorable towards Keanu and the movie, and post it on Ain't It Cool News?
That's what they did the last time.
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Well, Rachel Weisz is getting an across the board thumbs up. At least she's something to look forward to.
I’m not really surprise, Rachel Weisz is a great actress. I’m more surprise at the reaction the movie is getting because it has a great cast behind it. You would have though that they could hit this right out of the ballpark but the reviews say differently.
The Ring 2 does looks good though.
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There are two new reviews on Club keanu, they're from magazines so at least they're correctly spelled.
Or are those reviews already in another thread?
edit: They're positive
If you could provide a link to those reviews, I would appreciate it. As of right now, the only review I see at club keanu is the Ant it cool news review which even the people who go to that site call a plant.
No there's another one, or it's an article. It had quite a lot information, although some thing we already heard. ollroght, it't here
Oh yeah sorry, it;s that one from Fangoria.
No problem. Thank you for your time. :p
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There are two new reviews on Club keanu, they're from magazines so at least they're correctly spelled.
Or are those reviews already in another thread?
edit: They're positive
If you could provide a link to those reviews, I would appreciate it. As of right now, the only review I see at club keanu is the Ant it cool news review which even the people who go to that site call a plant.
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Yeah, in fairness a lot of the negative press has been really badly written and would appear to have been put together by someone who hasn't even watched te trailer let alone the film.
Judging by all the reviews I have read so far, The most legitimate reviews are in fact the negative ones. I will say that some of the negative reviews do read like the person who did the review did not actually see the movie but the majority of them go into great detail and come up with good points about the film’s faults.
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Hate to break your bubble, lads, but given that these reviews were posted at a time of day during which virtually none of the forum regulars were even online, I'm not sure where you're seeing this mass outpouring of pig-headed belief in this review. Some aspects of it chime with what we've already heard from other, more reliable sources, while some seem rather less plausible. The superherohype review, on the other hand, sounds pretty genuine to me, based on what we know about the script, the finished film, and initial audience reactions to date.
I'm sorry, but if the preview audiences responded as positively to this film as you say they did - where are the positive reviews? Please, I'd love to know, because virtually without exception, the only reviews leaked to date have been luke-warm at best. Find a link to a positive review or two (if what you're saying is true, there're bound to be at least a couple out there), and maybe we can turn this bitch-fest into something vaguely resembling a reasonable, balanced debate.
Sound fair?
Judging by what I have read , the Superhero hype review is the best so far .
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Who's Don Knocks? Doesn't she mean Don Knotts?
I swear I put absolutely no faith in any movie reviews as many of the reviewers can't write let alone spell.
The Don Knotts reference does fit Shia LaBeouf like a glove.
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More Reviews are coming in for Constantine.
http://www.moviehole.net/news/4909.html
They must be having a swag of test screenings for this baby because I believe we've had a trailer full of reports on it of late. This review, from 'Jennifer', is probably a slightly more negative take on the new Keanu starrer.
Constantine
By Jennifer
They gave a industry screening of Constantine for movie theater owners last weekend here in California (one of the few places that was not snowed in) and I got in because I work for a retailer who sells products to them (Popcorn, Soda machines, you name it.)
To make this as quick and as painless as possible, the movie was a huge letdown. Keanu Reeves look like he was just going though the motions here and delivers a rather stale performance that is the worse one in the entire film and that's a great feet considering that Shia LaBeouf, The Don Knocks of our generation gives a painfully unfunny performance as his pet sidekick.
Rachel Weisz is great but she's stuck with Keanu way too much and she would have been a much better lead than he was because she at least made you care about what was happing with the film while Keanu was just playing his Neo character again.
Djmon Hounsou is fine but wasted in a bit part and Peter Stormare is criminally underused in a cameo.
The special effects are great but there is really no story to be told and the script is pretty bad in some parts.
Wait for video.
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Cheers Milkman!
I haven't got access to any kind of 'foreign' order figures for Hellblazer - it's a generally held belief that it does very well in the UK (for obvious reasons) though.
[/quot
I just discovered the comic recently and just found this site today while looking up the character of John Constantine in the web and discovered your site. The reason I asked was the fact that a lot of the fans look like they are from out of the country (I live in New York) so I just wanted to know how big the fan base is outside the country.
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I'm moderating this thread till after the movie comes out - NO SNIPING!
Anyway, I had friends over for dinner and apparently there's a Constantine poster up in the UGC here in Dublin City. The UGC is the biggest cinema in the centre of the capital.
Anyway got word on an official UK/Ireland release date ?
One question please, How much of a following does Hellblazer has outside the US?
You have a really cool site.
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http://www.superherohype.com/review.php
Here is a review of Constantine that was just posted at Superhero hype. Unlike Ain't it Cool News, this sounds legit:
Jess
date posted: 24-01-2005 Rating 3/10
Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, a cross between Same Spade and Repairman Jack from the F. Paul Wilson novels. He deals with all kinds of supernatural occurrences all around Los Angeles. He builds a kind of reputation that is only heard in whispers and rumors and he's quite known for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Enter Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) who needs his help with the mysterious suicide of her twin sister who jump off the roof of the mental hospital she was staying in. She believes that there is more to it than it seems and wants Constantine to help her figure it out. So they both embark on a investigation that includes half breed demons strait out of episodes of Buffy and Angel, angels that look way too asexual for words and the devil himself, who looks like he just got back from gambling trip in Atlantic City. Now if you think that I'm being a tad over the top in my plot summery, think again. I'm actually being way too kind. Now it's very hard to start off with the good parts of the film with out addressing the very bad parts of it first and that's Keanu Reeves himself. I do think that he's a good actor with some promise but he's miscast in this role as a hardboiled and cynical private eye with supernatural connections and his sour face demeanor does not help him out at with his character at all. There is a subplot that involves his heath that adds nothing to the overall story at all and his character borders between self important idiot to whiney bastard that cries to god when he does not get his way. His transformation into his Neo persona during the last act of the film takes away a lot from what the movie was supposed to be all about and just turns it into a sad parody of itself. The screenplay feels like a hack job in some places and some characters don't really serve a purpose at all other than to be killed off or to just be a part of the scenery. Some character don't really need to be in the movie at all like the character of Chaz played by Shia LaBeouf, who really adds nothing to the movie other than to be a really bad side kick to our sour faced hero and the angel Gabriel who is played by Tilda Swinton, who for starters is only in the film for about ten minutes and really adds nothing to it other than to have a really bad scene with John Constantine that will make you sit up and take notice on how bad this film really is and the last act, where her character is a part of one of the most stupid plot revelations in recent movies (it involves the devil, who is dressed like a pool hall gambler from Atlantic City.) I don't hold Tilda Swinton, responsible for this (she is a very good actress) as much as I hold the screenwriters who wrote her role because we don't really know enough about her character to be surprise with the sudden turn around that she does in the last act of the film. The screenplay itself feels like it does not know what it wants to be from time to time, switching it's tone from dark horror drama to dumb down action movie in the last fifteen minutes of the film and some of the dialog is so badly written that you are grinning your teeth to the bone when you hear it. While there are a lot of bad in this film, there are some bright spots that make the film somewhat bearable to sit though. The best of these is the performance of Rachel Weisz, which is literally holding this film together by a thin and dangling thread. She gives this movie something the script should have giving it and that something is called class. Her performance is gripping and soul searching and its what the film really should have been about if you had serious people behind scenes making it. Which is too bad because the movie would have worked much better as a standard supernatural thriller with just her character in it instead of the mind numbing mess that is presented to us here. Djmon Hounsou is great as well but he's not really in the movie much at all and his character is really just there for camp effect, not substance. The special effects are cool for what they are and they do have a visual impact but not even that is strong enough to make you forget how cheesy the film is after it ends.
Another Fake/plant review from Ain't it cool news
in Comics in other media
Posted
You make a lot of good points and I said that could be jaded by the last review that was a plant. What I find strange is the way people act when you give an opinion on the board. A few people (not all mine you) actually got upset over what I said, which was not meant to offend anyone. And BTW the only other review I think I called a plant was from the same web site that posted this review, so I don’t know where I said that a lot comes from.
Most of my posts here are really friendly, which judging by the last few responses, people don’t seem to care for.
Well, it's the mentality of all message boards i guess. :-?