God

Here are the posters:

(EDIT BY JAMES: VIDEO OF A DUDE WITH A BIG CHUNK OF HIS FACE MISSING. It looks pretty fake, but I thought I should let the squeamish and those at work know)

Didn't look fake to the likes of ME! Shit!

Hitmans betters than Preacher? You moist patches of goos gots no ideas, no none and nyet.

I's likes the fancy bathroom stories for me to beings alones what Ellennis whats writes.

Is anyone else enjoying Desolation Jones? Warren Ellis has a filthy fucking mouth, but basing this story arc on the time I sent the angel to see Philip K. Dick was...ahem...divinely inspired, if you ask me.

I'm thinking of increasing its sales numbers so Wildstorm doesn't go out of business.

Lawrence was the driver of the bus as it went over the cliff. Blame all those other idiots, too, but Lawrence could have made a better film, and let me tell you: I have seen EVERY movie ever made, including all the ones which were never even released, and ALL of them were better than Constantine which Constantly Confounded Me Concerning how badly directed it was. No Heaven for him. Never assume that God doesn't like His fair share of controversial subject matter. He does...I mean I do.

Now they're using Greek names? What a bunch of poofs! And that's not a knock against the gay man, but the straight man who really is gay but denies it to the point that he is falsely religious--you know, like Ted Haggard. Let me tell you a secret: I'm personally denying him entrance to Heaven while Elton John will be getting the red carpet treatment. Also, I'm a sucker for "Candle in the Wind.".

I have far too many names. I think it hearkens back to that blasted Tower of Babel episode you morons engaged. I changed your languages and I'm an instant army of names that sound like D&D spells or something.

Hell, I can't even remember half of them, anyway, there're so gosh darned many (I'm trying to cut down on my cussing, so forgive my little cutesy curses).

I'm an old gold, a tired god. I don't have it in me to remember which goatfucker (oops) calls me Yahweh, or which koolaide drinker calls me Tinothy Leary. Thinking about trading places with Satan one of these days to cure the unbelievable boredom Heaven causes. Between you and me, I had a stick up my ass when I was younger--wiping out the world whenever I had a tantrum. My meds have helped alot, they really have. I've read every book ever published in every universe. And I don't like Hollywood pictures because they're run by the Jews of course. Mel Gibson..heh...

So long, you unrepentant sacks of pus! Remember, the key to heaven is simple: be good to each other, no killing, write your grandparents, volunteer once a year and try to leave the place better than when you found it. I'm mellowing out in my old age. I don't even care anymore when I think I have to fart and I shit myself...until it gets cold.

Go in peace...and bring me back Angelina Jolie with a case of beer and a bag of cheeseburgers! Stay hard! Rock me!

G.

Fuck you bitches! I'm the king of kings and I don't get included? I'm fixin' to go nova on you bitches, bitches!

Fuck y'all!

Hey, whiner, READ THE SIG!!!

OMG!

Okay, okay, her you go.

More fun than a barrel full of monkeys, even!

No, no, i'm not like that. A lot of people accuse me of throwing dice, but I'm actually about the quantum, so i toss a coin. See the referee at the start of the game? Yup, that's me in disguise. I know the outcome even before the game begins.

I used to have a pet lamb... but it got killed :(

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