James

One other thing - Auntie Jean, the one that Constantine actually liked and upon whose grave he left flowers at the start of Milligan's Hellblazer run, was actually first mentioned in Carey's 'The Gift', issue 213. I'm pretty sure she hasn't appeared in any other issues (the other auntie being Dolly, the one seen in 'Dead Boy's Heart') which makes it a pretty cool little bit of continuity wrangling on Milligan's part. I'll have to do a family tree soon.

Another thing - in 'Haunted' John says he met Isabel Bracknell seven years earlier. Assuming the issue takes place in 99, which is when it's dated, that means he was sleeping with her for six months while he was going out with Kit. Which seems a bit wrong to me...

As part of my ongoing attempt to stave off unemployed boredom I've started putting together a timeline of John Constantine's life, taking in everything from his pre-Swamp Thing days and the major plot points from ST #27 onwards. Read it here. It's missing a lot of non-HB stuff, like the Shade the Changing Man issues, but it's a start.

Observations:

They've been pretty consistent about John's childhood over the years, though he grows up awfully fast between 1965 and 1967, which is when he curses his dad. I suppose getting the school bully's legs flattened by a truck will do that.

Almost nothing is known about Constantine's early '70s, pre-punk period. Fertile ground for retconning, it seems. The only thing I can think of that might fit there is a little snippet of John's early adult life in Hellblazer #109.

All His Engines does throw a bit of a spanner in the works, continuity-wise. Not only does it bring Thomas Constantine out of prison (and regrows one of his arms) in 1961, it also sets the 'modern-day' stuff in 2004, which is when the 'John suffers amnesia' issues came out. However, given the way that Carey's run flows from one issue to the next, it's possible that the all the Shadow Dog stuff happens in 2003. Which is how I've done it in the timeline.

Thoughts? Contributions? Do feel free to jump in and have a go if you like. The default Wikia skin is horrid, sorry about that, but if you can be arsed logging in you can change it to the regular wikipedia one.

Yeah - I think the "by Warren Ellis" byline was meant to be an acknowledgement that a fair amount of "Warren Ellis"' dialogue was quoted directly from things the real Ellis had actually said. So far as I'm aware, the issue was still scripted entirely by Bendis.

As I recall Ellis's dialogue was snipped from whatever Ellis was calling his blog/forum at that time.

Also, the ending to that issue was very unrealistic - the real-life Ellis wouldn't have gone into hiding after getting his face melted, he would've blogged about it relentlessly and used it as an excuse not to do half the work he's commissioned to do.

how big was that Red cheque that he can sit on his arse and do nothing

Probably very big indeed. I know of one indie writer/artist - absolutely not a big name - who stands to receive a quarter of a million quid if the film adaptation of his comic gets made. And that's for a little indie miniseries. I imagine Ellis, with his bigger name, increased TV/movie clout and actual literary agent, pulled in considerably more (though even if he didn't, I'm sure £250,000 would give him a few decades' respite at the very least).

Trailer for the Christmas special here:

The 'Time can be rewritten'/'People can't' lines make me wonder whether Moffat is rejigging his old short story, Continuity Errors, for da kidz. It'd actually be quite a nice way to present the Christmas Carol story without having actual ghosts or anything.

If you don't know what happens in the short story - and I imagine most of you (ie. everyone but Mark) don't - a synopsis can be found here.

Shame his son didn't sit him down for the same talk before they named the Xmas special 'A Christmas Carol'.

Surprised Mark's not weighed in on that one actually...

Yeah, people get burned, beheaded, devoured and worse in Pratchett's stories but he doesn't really dwell on it.

The internet is about to E-X-P-L-O-D-E.

Why are you wearing those ridiculous silver gloves?

Not watching the previews, but wanted to throw in my two pence on the second ep (SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST WALKING DEAD TRADE):

- Glad to see that Glenn's as endearing in the show as he is in the comic. Like that they used him to show the lighter side of zombie genocide, too (200mph down the freeway!).

- Wouldn't it be nice to have a redneck who's not a despicable racist?* Or even a despicable racist who's not a redneck?

- It looks like they're going for a longer arc with the Shane/Rick/Lorie relationship, so I wonder - assuming they're going to end the series with the same punctuation as the first trade - whether Merle will take Shane's role as the dramatic shooting victim.

- Impressed with the show's ability to take a single-issue story from the comics and turn it into a proper hour of drama.

- Amused that some of the people at the camp site looked like they'd been sleeping in shit for three weeks while Lorie looked like she'd just skipped out of a tampon advert.

- Kind of wish they'd use proper squibs instead of CGI blood - it just doesn't look the same - but I guess that might make it too gory for TV.

*I know Left 4 Dead 2 already got there, but still.

The upgrade one is outright brilliant. Love it.

Shoreleave's awesome. Can't believe we have to wait a month for the hour-long special though! I'd rather wait a week and have a three-parter, but I guess that might throw their pacing off.

Look out! Headless autons!

But now, with more sophisticated boxes, they can, again based on your viewing habits, which you cannot hide in any way other than setting your channels on crap that stinks and then downloading torrents (I know a guy who does this to "fuck with marketing").

That guy's a moron. All he's doing is encouraging worse TV.

Well the title doesn't say much about the show, and the only reference to it in the series itself has been a throwaway gag. I get that the PIs are underdogs and tenacious problem-solvers but it doesn't scream 'Watch me!'

I could see the character vs ass-kicking thing working against it too, especially with The Shield connection. I went into it expecting something much harder and more action-packed, and while I was happy with what I got I can see it putting off others. Likewise, I imagine that those who might be more suited to the show's largely[1] laid-back disposition might have been put off by the thought of another Shield.

[1] Excepting all the bits with the dead bodies in back rooms, etc.

Sean, you and I seem to be the only ones really into Terriers! Catch the last episode? Great stuff. I don't usually like when professional storylines run as a metaphor/parallel for the characters' personal subplots because it's inevitably as subtle as a sledgehammer. But these guys really pulled it off. I'm nervous we won't get another season. Ratings have not been good.

Oh yeah, I'm thoroughly enjoying Terriers. I can understand why it's not been the smash hit that The Shield was - it's about two private detectives! Uh, that's it... - but the quality of the show means that it absolutely deserves to do better.

The one I found was pretty decent quality. I think someone must have gone back and done something to make it better (but I hate to speculate what and how). Am about to check it out. Pretty stoked because I was going to have to DVR the premiere Halloween night as I suddenly have plans I didn't expect. So, happy bonus time for ME!

 

I'm not sure whether DVR'ing counts ratings-wise but you should do that anyway. A lot hinges on the show's ratings for the first two episodes. Wouldn't want this being cancelled. It seems unlikely since everyone and their mom seems to love zombies these days but still.

Surely unless you're in one of the Neilsen households it won't make a difference?

You know what's great? I mean, really, shockingly well-made, tightly scripted and well characterised? Justified. Am I preaching to the converted here?

I'm right with you (or at least, within comfortable agree-to-disagree territory - the Silurian story is indeed almost entirely devoid redeeming qualities, but I'm not sure I'd rate it as far below 'Fear Her' or 'Voyage of the Damned' as you seem to, for example). But then...

You know, I actually really like 'Fear Her'. The Olympics ending is cringeworthy, yes, but if you get to give Last of the Time Lords' magical gnome a pass then I can do the same here. Other than that I think it's fairly decent. The script is really, genuinely funny (parking the Tardis the wrong way around, 'Yeah, I've been experimenting with back-combing', 'I'm calling the Council!', fingers in the marmalade, etc), the alien threat is one of the few that isn't either a rampaging monster or a diabolical mastermind, and the ultimate message: that abusive adults can't hurt you forever (and that some adults can even help you out) is a positive one.

Yes, I can see why 'daddy on the stairs' isn't quite as thrilling as being chased around by The Lazarus Experiment or whatever but it struck me as the kind of thing that would really chime with children. Especially ones in troubled homes.

Certainly not as bad as Lizard Josef Mengele being best pals with The Doctor. Jesus.

The CGI, in particular, all-too-frequently screamed "budget cuts!", particularly compared with some of the absolutely stunning visuals of the previous two years.

Utterly, utterly disagree. Aside from the Xbox render of the snake thing in 'The Eleventh Hour' and the shitty-looking tongues on the Silurians, nothing looked dodgy, out of place or took me out of the story. Certainly everything looked to be on par with previous seasons (particularly the spaceships over Stonehenge, the starry night, Amy floating in space and even subtle stuff like the flickering door in The Lodger's spaceship).

If there were dips I'd put them down to having to render everything in HD now rather that cuts in the budget (I know the budget went down overall but how much of that was down to hiring two unknowns as Amy and The Doctor and getting rid of Tennant and Tate?).

the Atraxi felt awkwardly cartoonish to me

Can't argue with the Daleks (because I thought they were fine though I see why purists are bothered) or the Silurians (which look disappointingly Star Trek compared to the horrible, slimy and undeniably other appearance of the originals) but the Atraxi were brilliant. Such a gloriously strange, out-there visual. And certainly no more cartoonish than(and certainly preferable to) the space rhinos/wolves/wasps/goldfish/hamsters of the Davies years.

Bottom line, though, is that I've never (with the possible exception of Tennant's first season) felt that Doctor Who was a show that needed apologizing for in the first place. I've shown it to a lot of people, and never given more warning than "it's a bit inconsistent, but the good bits should be more than enough to keep you going through the lesser episodes".

The farting aliens, day-glo palette, crap SFX, inconsistent tone and perpetual gurning of the early RTD years made it impossible to recommend them without a lot of 'Look, it's really good but you have to stick with it, it's actually surprisingly layered...' remarks. The latter years were better, obviously, but hamstrung by continuity and weighed down by a lot of very forced angst (and Tennant's Doctor becoming increasingly narcissistic and self-satisfied).

It's all very surface, I know, but that's what people will see when you first show them something.

Of course, judging by our respective pseudo-objective ratings of the different seasons, we both more-or-less agree on that - which leads me to suspect that all your gut instincts are really telling you are that you subjectively prefer Moffat's take on the show to Davies'.

Well... yes? I don't think I've implied that my opinions (or those of my increasingly prominent gut) are objective or anything.

I didn't see any continuous development in Rory, though: for my money he was an embarrassment all season, then came good in the final story.

He starts off as a put-upon nebbish whose girlfriend doesn't respect him, who absolutely plays beta male to The Doctor (as do most blokes in the series, obviously, but moreso than them) and who doesn't do much when faced with alien menaces. In Vampires of Venice he stands up to a sword-wielding vampire despite being outmatched, and questions the plan of sending Amy undercover. In the Silurian two-parter he stands up to The Doctor and calls him on how much danger he puts his companions in, and subsequently gives his life to defend him.

RoboRory, while being a trap for Amy and The Doctor, is still functionally the same guy (we're given no reason to believe he's any different, despite being a construct) and proves incredibly brave and resilient by standing guard over her across thousands of years. And in the final episode he's far more confident about seeing Amy and The Doctor together (there's the 'it's our wedding' line, but it's delivered in a more direct 'oh, not again Amy...' way rather than the timid, embarrassed tone of the earlier stories) and has no qualms about going adventuring himself. It's all there, even if it's not in the forefront of the episodes.

FAO Mark and James, your nerd score means are (ahem) meaningless.

What we need is a range and the mode for each series. Thanks.

You know, I almost did median, mode and range scores. And then I realised that was madness.

... the Smith/Moffat run, ... the characters are far better written.

Are you referring to all of the characters, or just to the Doctor, Amy and Rory? If it's the latter, I'm not sure I'm with you... one of the most consistent gripes about the 2010 series seems to be problems with the way Amy and Rory were written. (I don't have statistics.) For my money Amy never lived up to the promise of 'The Eleventh Hour', and Rory was a nuisance until the last story.

The Doctor, Amy and Rory. I didn't have any problems with Amy's character and I liked Rory's development from insecure nebbish to loyal hero. Arthur Darvill (who is far too young to have a name like that) has excellent comedy timing and all of his scenes in, say, 'The Vampires of Venice' were golden. And while Matt Smith's charisma cannot be underestimated, The Doctor did get loads of excellent lines (except in the dismal Chibnall episodes). Again, 'The Vampires of Venice' had probably my greatest crash-to-titles sequence ever.

It's still not quite a deus ex machina, but I'd say it comes closer than anything else prior to the most recent season finale.

 

Not disagreeing, but enquiring: what was deus ex machinistic about the season five ending?

 

 

Nothing, by the strict standards I'm using, but the way the Pandorica's undiscovered-until-the-plot-requires-them abilities are used to resolve the crisis, and River Song's role in delivering the empty diary at final wedding reception, come pretty close. In fact, I'm beginning to think that the latter may represent the only completely-valid deus ex machina of the entire post-2005 run of Doctor Who.

Ah, yes. I'll agree with you about River Song because (as far as I'm aware) there's absolutely no logical explanation for how she could get to the wedding when she ought to have been lost in limbo, or never have made it to the 20th century in the first place or something (I suppose you could say that she was left over when the world was rebuilt but she should still have been trapped in Amy's childhood, not the modern day).

I think you have to give a pass to the Pandorica, though, if you're offering the same service to the Archangel Network. I'd say it was set up far better than that, actually - bringing the universe back to life is a logical extension of the box's ability to bring a Dalek back, whereas hypnotising the British population doesn't lead comfortably into transforming Nobby the Time Elf into Space Jesus.

Oh, don't worry - I'm not actually embarrassed (and since it'd be the work of two minutes to plot the information into a graph, I'll probably end up doing that at some point). I came to terms with my (not-so-)inner nerd long ago.

 

For the record (not including Christmas Specials or the gap year specials, and I suspect one or two individual episode scores might change if I gave it a bit more thought):

 

SEASON 27 AVERAGE 7.6

SEASON 28 AVERAGE 6.7

SEASON 29 AVERAGE 8.0

SEASON 30 AVERAGE 7.2

SEASON 31 AVERAGE 7.0

 

Looking at it again, I'm surprised by how well the Eccleston series balances out, since the episode-by-episode ratings are pretty wildly up-and-down. S30 didn't have anything like the troughs of the first two years, but while there were a couple of very strong stories, it didn't have as many peaks either, leading to a slightly misleadingly-low overall rating. It was probably the least uneven season of the lot, which counts for something.

Using proper series numbers, not your crazy revisionist 'season 3,000' nonsense, and including the Christmas specials as the first episode of each season:

ECCLES

Series 1 - 6.9

TENNANT

Series 2 - 6.7

Series 3 - 7.9

Series 4 - 7.5

Specials - 6.4

SMITH

Series 5 - 7.2

The fourth (or 30th) series was the most consistent for me, usually floating around the 7-9 mark and with the Sontaran episodes proving less atrocious than previous two-parters. Not surprised to see such a high showing for Agyeman's season (oh Martha Jones, what a raw deal you got) but I am surprised to see that I apparently rate it - and the Tate series - higher than Smith's first go. However, I suspect that's largely due to the Silurian two-parter, which got the lowest scores of any of the series and is the only Nu-Who story that I would actively turn off it it rolled around on TV, even if I had nothing else to do.

The other surprise is that series one and two are so close, but it makes sense - Eccles' series is consistently okayish, while Tennant's debut has higher highs and lower lows that average out to about the same.

It doesn't change, however, my gut reaction to the Smith/Moffat run, which is that it's the first series of Doctor Who that I could lend to anyone without apologising for the vague sense of crapness ahead of time. It's a far more professional-looking effort, certainly, with richer cinematography and more consistent FX work. But more importantly the characters are far better written. When introducing Vampires of Venice to the missus I realised how much easier it was to take the weirdly misjudged ending and dangling plot threads simply because the Doctor/Rory/Amy interaction is so fun. It's something I hope they can hold on to this series, and I hope that they don't feel the need to regress Rory to his earlier, less secure phase for laughs.

As I said at the time, I think the third season of the new show is a fairly serious contender for "best season of Doctor Who ever". And that's even including 'The Shakespeare Code' and 'Evolution of the Daleks'.

I actually liked The Shakespeare Code, JK Rowling fellating (cunnilingulising?) aside. They did the 'I'm nicking that joke about three hundred times too many but the Sycorax thing was really, brilliantly clever.

Last night, I did one of the nerdiest things I've ever done - I actually wrote down every episode of new Who, season-by-season, and rated them all out of ten. I figured out averages for each season, and by that reckoning, I place season 31 only ahead of season 28 (and just behind season 27) in my overall rankings.

 

No, I'm not proud. But it happened, and I feel that I can only move forward by admitting to what I have done (just be glad that I didn't share the episode-by-episode ratings).

Bit rushed - will give your post the reply it deserves as soon as I can - but I want to point out:

A: That I've thought about doing the same thing myself, and maybe making a graph or something.

B: That I spent last week manually adding around 300 covers and issue templates to the Hellblazer wiki.

So you're in good - or suitably bad - company.