Donnie Van

You are John Constantine, a tough, supernatural, working-class mage:  sometime exorcist and all-around occult trouble-shooter. 

...

Use an array of powerful incantations and an aresenal of spectacular holy artefacts including the Crucifier, Holy Shotgun, and Dragon's Breath Flamethrower.

Issue #33 - I liked this exchanged at the end between an unnamed character and John.

Guy: You are a rider of the storm -- one who turns his coat at will; who is not trapped by the ignorance of possibility? One who keeps the codes and passwords and the nerve to cross the secret borders as he chooses?

John: I hope so, yes.

Guy: I hope so, too, John Constantine -- because this game is dangerous if you are not.

Stumbled upon this during some re-reading. Thought it was funny, what with the whole "Ratboy" thing.

Two of my favorites, the ends of "Haunted" and "How To Play With Fire," have already been mentioned.

One from the last issue of "Last Man Standing":

"One day, God gets bored and ... BOOM! Nothing compares to that emptiness in your gut when the smoke settles, and you're the land man standing, eh?"

Art was nice, I loved it, I really like Manco and another great cover from Tim. I'd be nice to see a whole issue or arc drawn by Tim, that'd be awesome.

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He did the interiors for #141, "The Crib," by Warren Ellis (collected in the "Setting Sun" trade paperback).

I swear I remember Tim being slated as one of the three artists that was going to work on #200, but that obviously didn't happen, so maybe I'm imagining things.

<- Tim Roth would be my pick.

Amazing how uptight people get when you simply don't like a movie, isn't it? Mention not liking "Constantine" on the Internet, and without fail, there'll be at least one rabid fan jumping down your throat with an army of misspelled words and exclamation points. Fuck it already: no need to get your panties all wadded up over someone else's opinions.

Having said that, I was forcibly dragged to see "Constantine" at the theater, though I managed to pay for a ticket to an entirely different film: "Pooh's Heffalump Movie."

Every point and counterpoint has been hit on by people far more eloquent and insightful than myself, so just a few quickfire thoughts:

- Swinton and Hounsou, the two people I was thinking were going to be the show-stealers in this thing, wound up not meeting my expectations (though I think a good lot of that is because of the characters they play and the script, not the actors themselves).

- Weisz, Rossdale, and Stormare actually wound up having a much better screen presence than I figured they would.

- Keanu could easily be replaced by a wooden board with a crudely drawn face on it and the differences between the two movie variations would be hard to spot.

- Shia ... ouch. I figured he'd be annoying, but it's like he was making an actual effort to get me to dislike him. More than one person let out a hoot in the theater when he clocked out.

- "Beeman"? Seriously? I don't care how much of a hard-on you have for this movie ... Holy Brass Knuckles are fucking stupid.

- The exorcism bit was more interesting than I figured it would be.

- Groans all around the audience at the gum chewing bit. Absolutely no one seemed to enjoy that bit. Who was THIS scene made for?

- Spear of Destiny! Son of Satan! Hell on Earth! Christ, try cramming a few more horror movie staples in there. At the rate the movie was going, I half-expected it to end with Angela and John embracing, and then the camera pans in for a close-up on her face, her eyes open up and they're completely red, and then we fade to black as what's supposed to be a "demonic voice" cackles for a bit.

The movie didn't have to be like this. Even through my grimacing and eye-rolling, I could see that there was potential in it. At some point. But instead of letting it evolve into a good movie, it feels like a bunch of Hollywood executives took a collective shit in the primordial soup that was this movie in the planning stages.

So, all in all, it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be ... though to be fair, I was expecting it to give me some sort of super-Hollywood aneurysm. "Constantine" gets a few points for the (mostly) enjoyable cast and stylish look, but loses far more for the sloppy story and absolutely unlikeable protagonist.

The joke is that he's the Phantom Stranger, the Brotherless One, the Grey Walker, exiled from both Heaven and Hell after Lucifer's Rebellion to always be ... a stranger.

(Melodramatic, maybe, but that's how he tends to present it.)

So the Stranger, after God only knows how many thousands (or millions ... or billions) of years of being alone, tries to show up at John's birthday party and celebrate a bit, and what does he get?

Pissed on.

I always wanted to see more interaction between John and The Phantom Stranger, beyond the quick meetings they have occasionally.  Ever since reading the Batman/Phantom Stranger 1-shot a few years back I wanted Conjob to have a similar adventure with The Phantom Stranger.

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Might want to check out the four-part Trenchcoat Brigade mini-series. That's got some great Stranger/Constantine moments:

"As you value your life, John Constantine ... do not mock me now."

http://hellblazer.ipbhost.com/index.php?sh...indpost&p=34735

Knew I'd seen it up here somewhere.

Jenkins has always been my favorite of all the long-term writers, which has always earned me quite a bit of flak in the past (but to this board's credit, I've yet to get shit for it once here). I liked the "normalfication" aspects of his run ... a sort of mid-life crisis and a supporting cast who could be your next-door neighbors. I liked Ennis' run as well, but having John Constantine do something like, say, chainsaw off an archangel's wings makes it harder to relate to the guy.

I can see the point about John's personality changing, but you have to remember that the book tends to move in (relatively) real time. How many personality alterations and quirks have you gone through in the past 17 years?

Any guesses on what sort of ridiculous weapons he'll be wielding this go around? My money's on an enchanted sword, at the very least. Maybe something above and beyond stupid, like "Molotov cocktails ... with a bit of holy water in the mix."

Oooh, or a Holy 2x4 ... FROM THE CROSS JESUS WAS CRUCIFIED ON.

My top pick would also be Morrison or Milligan. Morrison moreso, because he's continued to impress me with his work, whereas there hasn't been much from Milligan that knocked my socks off (I liked X-Force/X-Statix well enough, but that's a different kind of book all together). If Milligan could bring the same quality he brought with him to Shade, The Changing Man, then I'll all for him.

Morrison's two fill-in issues were great, and he clearly at one point had a great interest in the character (just look at Hellblazer and Kipling from his Doom Patrol).

As a big non-fan of Brian K. Vaughan's Swamp Girl (err, "Thing") series, I'd prefer he stay far, far away from Hellblazer.

I'm also not entirely opposed to giving some young, relatively unknown writer a chance on the book ... though maybe they could have a smaller contract at first, for like eight issues, and then the editors can gauge from there whether or not they want to keep the writer on board for more.

I have 3 favorite titles that forever stand above the rest, as far as comics go: HELLBLAZER, PREACHER, and TRANSMETROPOLITAN. One of them has been fucked film-wise. I will become a Hollywood terrorist if the other 2 enter into any kind of preproduction.  I will sabotage LANs at Hollywood studios. I will hire thugs to "influence" major decision makers to drop the idea of making the film. I will use fire if I have to to stop another film travesty of a comic I adore. I am a "comic fanboy geek" and I wear the moniker well, albeit quite a bit more stylishly than most others.

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"Preacher" already WAS in pre-production, but seems to have been canned

:p Thankfully

I also said Major, and it sort of goes along with what James said. The people behind the scenes of the movie don't exactly give me much justice. When the biggest credits one of the screenwriters and the director can muster up are "Suburban Commando" and a Justin Timberlake music video, it doesn't exactly inspire faith and sort of predisposes me to thinking that the movie is being handled in a "style-over-substance" fashion.

Pete Vonder Haar's second "Constantine" review over at Film Threat, this time from the point of view of the part of him that's a Hellblazer fan.

For actual readers of Vertigo’s “Hellblazer,” the only possible way to approach the movie “Constantine” is by disassociating it entirely from the monthly comic. This should be less difficult than it sounds, thanks to the glaring and oft-cited differences. After all, the comic book Constantine is blond and British, a scouse con-man rather than an American demon hunter banishing supernatural baddies for Good; Chas is John’s oldest friend and confidante, not a teenaged “apprentice;” and the idea that John Constantine would ever resort to good deeds in order to wheedle his way into heaven is so at odds with the character it’s laughable. The longer one watches the film and sees what’s happened to our favorite con job, however, the more one wished the filmmakers had simply created a brand new character and washed their hands of John Constantine entirely.

 

 

That appears to have been too much to ask, however. The truly maddening thing about “Constantine” is how screenwriters Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello have sprinkled it with so many tidbits from the monthly title that fans can’t help but be reminded of the cinematic screw-over the character is receiving. They’ve made a half-assed attempt to file the serial numbers off the “Dangerous Habits” storyline (and in the screening I attended, I didn’t see author Garth Ennis’ name anywhere in the credits), but the key ingredient (John’s lung cancer) is still there, so are a few lines of dialogue between John and Gabriel, as well as Constantine’s climactic middle finger salute (put in an entirely new context and thereby losing most of its effectiveness). There’s also a scene involving holy water that is obviously “inspired” by Ennis’ run on “Vampirella.”

 

 

Of course, none of this is enough to distract us from: the Holy Shotgun of Antioch (or whatever the hell that stupid thing is called)…or the James Bond scene involving Constantine and his version of “Q” trying out the latest in occult gadgetry…or Chas as Robin to Constantine’s Batman…or that indescribably awful bit that takes place after the final credits…or that tattoo…or Keanu.

 

 

Keanu Reeves gets a lot of credit for his movie choices (avoiding “Speed 2” probably means his IQ is significantly higher than we’ve been giving him credit for), but here, as an actor, he falls on his face. No, he’s not from Liverpool and he doesn’t look like Sting, but a decent American actor (not Nicolas Cage) could’ve pulled off a believable representation. John Cusack, anyone? Wasn’t Roy Dillon from “The Grifters” sort of an Americanized Constantine minus the sorcery? This character is supposed to be the embittered veteran of a thousand psychic wars, but he might as well be a stockbroker with a hangover from too many appletinis, the way Reeves portrays him here.

 

 

The irony of all this is that Warner Bros. presumably adapted “Hellblazer” – in part – to get fans of the comic to see the movie, but they’ve made such a half-assed go of it that these same fans are going to be spitting venom for months. In fact, I’d almost recommend that those of you who’ve followed the exploits of the character created by Alan Moore (and fleshed out by the likes of Jamie Delano, Garth Ennis, Paul Jenkins, Warren Ellis, and Mike Carey all these years) avoid the film entirely. You’ll live longer.

 

 

It could’ve been worse, though. They could’ve kept the Hellblazermobile.

Short and scathing, but that's got to be the best review I've read on "Constantine" yet.

Film Threat review

Apparently this guy reads Hellblazer, and has decided to write two reviews: one ignoring the comic, and one from a comic fan's perspective. The one up right now tries to ignore the comic.

Their poll right now is also asking is "Constantine" is a worthy Hellblazer adaptation. Last I checked, 66% are saying 'No.'

Donnie-You must tell me! What comic and issue did Grant Morrison die in????

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I'm not entirely sure where I read it, but Google was nice enough to figure it out for me.

First there's the Writer biography over at DCU Guide that says he died in a Suicide Squad story during "War of the Gods." Then I checked this site which says the WotG cross-over occured in Suicide Squad #58.

So ... I guess that'd be it. Sounds interesting enough, and I'll be keeping my eye out on eBay for the issue.

Not likely.

Though if my masochistic streak were acting up to the degree where I felt the need to see "Constantine," I'd make sure I paid for a ticket to some other movie. It's not getting any of my money.

I'll go with Cal McDonald, very much an American John Constantine.

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Oooh, very nice choice. I just got through reading Dial 'M' For Monster and Guns, Drugs, and Monsters, thinking how cool one of those "they won't say it's John Constantine but you know it's supposed to be" cameos he gets in all sorts of other books would be.

I know what comic character I want to see John meet!

Grant Morrison!

Sure, he wasn't really a very believable character, but he sure was interesting that time he showed up, and I don't think anyone has used him since.....

:lol:

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I know you're kidding, but (I swear) Grant Morrison was killed during "War of the Gods." :D

Anyways ...

Awhile back on the old forum there was some sort of "dream comics" discussion, and I'm going to use the same thing I said back then: an Uncle Sam/John Constantine team-up.

By Uncle Sam, I mean the DCU version, of course. He's the exact opposite of John Constantine ... a loud corny American who talks like Foghorn Leghorn and more often than not tends to just punch stuff until the problem is resolved.

Lucifer's another shoe-in. Nothing big, mind you. I wouldn't want to see him and John at odds or anything (that'd be a bit out of even John's league, I'd imagine). Just a couple panels worth of conversation or something.

(John's little cameo in Lucifer was a cruel tease, it seems)

Abhi, I think you can put those fears to rest. Remember Mike has a year to go yet, right, so if your fears were true, DC's timing would suck - they wouldn't be able to catch the afterflow from the film.

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No, just the hype for the sequel.

TRANSMETROPOLITAN didn't even crack his top 10 in favor of Black Orchid,  Doom Patrol, Animal Man, and Shade, the Changing Man?

 

Boooooo!

 

The author gives a cursory nod to it when discussing Ellis' run on HB and nothing more. Transmet was superior to those comics above, and where was Preacher? The author is mired in a golden age super hero mentality,, so he had to include Black Orchid and Doom Patrol. And even though I enjoyed those other comics listed, they don't hold a candle to Transmet or Preacher.

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Maybe it's me, but I'm understanding it all as the best Vertigo titles that are still connected to the DC universe (hence the article titles: "The DC Canon").

The fact that they are all stories that do (or could, depending on how you interpret the DC/Vertigo relationship) take place in the DCU seems to back that opinion up.

Just wishful thinking, Rogan :p

Kinski's been dead for nearly a decade and a half :(

If it's just a cameo, does Swampy need to speak? Maybe there could be some sort of flashback montage, and we could get a glimpse of Swampy (maybe with Abby and Tefe).

Always figured Wonder Woman (and presumably other Themyscirans, like Hippolyta and Artemis, and maybe even Troia) to be bisexual, though I haven't actually read any WW, so I can't back that up with anything.