bryce
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Posts posted by bryce
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Ever read Portnoy's Complaint? 8-)
After that book...Liver of all types joined Pork in the banishment from my kitchen.
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Their last gig they opened for some band....only thing I remember from that showwas the headliner's number where Mighty Stonehenge was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.
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yeah, my country sucks in so many levels...but what the hell,its what you get
Sorry, the whole Nazi/Peron thing is an easy target and a sore spot for me....I need to remind myself the US did quite a bit of it's own Nazi trading after the wall...only the currency was Rocket Science rather than gold.
Besides I wouldn't throw too much muck myself...from '83 on, you folk kicked our ass in the whole democracy thing....
-b
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Many women I have slept with have become Lesbians...
Sometimes right in the middle of the act...
-b
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Granted...If Argentina had saved all that Nazi gold instead of blowing it all on white uniforms for Peron, they could have bought it from Britan during the recession.
As far as Hellblazer...one of my favorite bits was when John managed to get Header pulled from combat over there to help him pull a con.
...and one can't forget Header's monolog killing the Americans at the opening of "Rake at the Gates of Hell"
-b
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John vs Lucifer?...
JC: Not bloody likely...Check please.
L: A wise choice, Mr. ConstanTEEN.
JC: (muttering as he stiffs on the tip) Arsehole...
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"mustn't grumble..."
It's been almost 20 years since I was last in London, and that line took me right back. It's good to see that Johnny and Mina paid attention to their elders.
I'm enjoying the current storyline. To me it makes perfect sense that Chris is filling the Chas hole in JC's life. John's life is supreme balancing act, and he needs a friend who is one part "mate" and one part beholden to him.
Plus...Chris has a car. Of course Johnny is going to become his bestest buddy...
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I can't say "worst" because it didn't happen often, but I always cringed when John would turn into Cassidy during the Ennis run...
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Happy-Slappy Jew here...and very disturbed about G-d wrote in the book of Life about all that time spent in the bathroom during my teenage years...
-b
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I went to the directory and scrolled thru - it is only up to /.../10, maybe 11 is not up yet?
nah...10 is the new chapter...bit of a tease this one...
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people really need to stop crumpeling up these covers and then deciding that they are going to use them after all...
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John is supposed to be the "last of the line", so I'd say that universal Constantine will come to a definitive end with John's death, or so I hope.
Until, we find out about Earth II's Constantine...when the Infinite Crisis......
....AGH! my keyboard in a fit of self-respect just burst into flames.......
-b
P.S. Although...if he has to share the stage with the tights and capes crowd, the Charactor of JC would fit nicely into the world of Millar's Ultimates...Johnny's London and US always seemed too real world to fit into even the Vertigo DC Universe.
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They went the right direction to have his dear innocent sis damned...taking Astra's place as his deepest sin. Granted, they had to resolve the Astra situation sooner or later, or else John would not be able to grow as a charactor...With John it's a case of one or two victories, one hardcore slap backwards.
However, The part that drew me to Johnny was his con-artist, swindles leaving the arrogant forces of Hell and Heaven bulstering, and unable to touch him...great fun issues, with a rogues gallery of fun charactors....and then several issues later, when you are least expecting it....the concequences of John's "mad caper" come home HARD, and John's friends and loved onces end up paying the price...
IF there was an arc that summed up the JC experience and that I think would drag people in is "Rake at the Gates of Hell."
Although, I think we've had quite enough adventures in the infernal realm lately, and our pal The First needs a long break to keep him from becoming overused, Johnny needs a good story full of powerful authority figures that Johnny has personally pissed off and an unwinnable problem to be backed into so he can save the day with superhuman chutzpah and cheek, and ride away into the fog flipping the powers-that-be the bird.
Someone that started out resisting the Reagan/Thatcher years is needed in these days pre-emptive wars and hopelessness...
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I'm in a giving mood and am willing to scan in issues of Hellblazer that haven't been traded
I will need issues 1-216...plus all of the ones that haven't been written yet please.
-b
p.s. If it's not too much of a bother...I will also need someone to turn the pages and read them to me as well...I would do it myself, but I just had to type this message on my own and now I'm all shagged out...
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looks like some sort of a hardcore underground men-magazine.
umm....I guess You didn't hear about the new focus of the run.
John Constantine:Out of the Closet and back into Hell
It's not that far of a reach...He's allready an internet Film Star in Doglick
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damnit...I missed that.
I forgot that Lew created a pocket universe in his club, while the First has just learned that Pants are your friend. I'll concede the point.
...but the battlestar galactica could kick the Enterprises ass anyday...but I'm not sure if James Kirk could take James West...
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I would make one change...Even though the first as a charactor I think was created to cover a goof by using the generic devil instead of the Vertigo Lucifer during the "Holy Beer" incident, but that goof created a really interesting take and a unique charactor.
I think raw power-wise The First is more powerful than Lucifer. Like I said a while back, Lucifer, although the greatest of Angels at the time, is still an Angel...A "messenger" and ultimatly a tool built by G-d. The First, if Johnny's conspiracy theory plays out, is the very conscience of the Lord....ripped out in some bizarre self-surgery and given a seperate material form. Cast out, he did his own thing until the Lord gave him the job of Ha'Satan..Literally "The Adversary" whose job was to tempt and punish. He ws seperate from the fallen Angels and power engorged humans who became Hell's demons. I doubt he had any interest in the power struggles of Hell until a certain Bastard humiliated him.
However, Lucifer is kinda unique as he is the closest of all of G-d's tools to having free will like us.Which means that he has an almost human imagination and guile...although the first , by right of being a part of the lord is infinately more powerful, Lucifer, could outthink and outplan him...
of course, this is all pre-Constantine...Like in the FOTF thread, the First now has something that Ludifer does not and cannot understand...The experience of being a mortal man...and like in Goode Omens (even though it is not part of the Sandman Mythos...the mindset is there) The demons learned a lot about being nasty from humans...I wonder how Lucifer/FOTF would match up...
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...has got me obsessed.
Contrast these this fanfic with the "HARD TIME" arc.
The Hard Time arc shows what Johnny is capable of in an enviorment with NO innocents to hurt. He clawed himself to the top of the heap, and created his own Hell on Earth.
In the Potter Fanfic, he's in a world with no heaven or hell...no demons, no angels...those folk are free from divine/infernal interference. A world of innocents, where he doesn't have The First, the Host, or whatever con that John pulled years ago and forgot about that is waiting to blindside him. He is respected and given a chance to actually do some good.
Without the Shadow of Heaven and Hell and a clean slate, can john actually do some good without creating a problem that will bite not only him, but all who are close to him in this world on the ass?
I can't believe I'm getting so drawn into a bloody fanfic...Jeezus, I've tumbled so far down the ladder that RP Gamers and Buffy fans should be taking my lunch money now...
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And well done getting an A+, Mr Wilkinson is a very tough grader. :lol:
Whooo! thank goodness he doesn't grade on 3 AM spelling, grammar, and typing skills
I would also like to point out that JC is probably the reason Ol'Scratch is wearing pants now. Anyone want to start a pool to how long before he starts the Stygian equivilant of a three pack a day Silk Cut habit as well...
-b
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God I hope the "infamous Scottish Occultist" isn't Crowley simply because Aleister is such a cliche nowadays. I'm thinking it's a fictional character simply because even though the real-life Crowley lived in Scotland for a time he's wasn't actually Scottish and I can't think of or google up any other infamous Scottish occultists.
It might be that the fellow is mixed up in the Crowley-esque rubbish that John has a hate-on for. Dare I sense another monumental ass-beating when the fellow innocently mentions that he's been trying to make his girlfriend/wife/daughter into a Scarlet Woman...
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It's late: excuse the typos and grammar...I'll fix them later
One thing I was reading in the #212 thread was how bloody stupid the FOTF was...
What was the glorious sum-up...
FOTF: foppish dandy with less threat than SW Manor despite the fact that he has been around Hell since it started, now taken his time to become a hard bastard with one up on Constantine.I might have the episodes out of order (I read the old issues in the trade paperbacks that collect by the arc without a timeline)
One thing to remember is that before the first ran afoul Conjob, he didn't need to be more. He had a working truce with the second and the third and free reign in Hell to cut his own personal deals. Another thing to remember is that if John's theory about the first is correct, he is unique in Hell. Lucifer, fallen or not is still an angel and ultimatly a tool of G-ds. A non working tool that somehow got a big head full of free-will, but still all in all, an angel with an Angel's mindset and an Angel's arrogance. The First is a piece of the almighty rip out and given a material form.
Everything was going great until our little JC gives him the holy beer....not the first time he has been tricked if pop-culture about the Devil is correct. However...then Johnnie embarreses him infrint of his brothers, cons all three out of his soul as well as a brand spanking new material body out of him..and then rubs his face in it...that is enough to force the first out of his comfortable way of dealing with humans...then Johnny cheats him again with the Crowley/badparts shell game and rubs his nose in it again...John forces him to evolve and learn...first thing he does that's new is find a way to get his Broters out of the way, and then get his hands dirty and personal by finding what johnny cares about and killing them, as well as the nice poetic justice of giving him back his cancer...I think that's a nose rubbing he learned from JC.
However, JC manages to pull yet another ace of of his sleeve and this time gets the First "killed." Now here is where the firsts education REALLY begins...He manages to experience something that no lord of hell or heaven did (unless you subscribe to the catholic Jesus is God/holy ghost and man all t te s
ame time). He got to be a man for a bit ad learn their joys and pains. And REALLY develop a real personal hatred for humans that just wasn't their before...
Pre-"nazerene's piss" incident...the FOTF is doing a job, but it's nothing personal...he is Ha'Satan "The adversary"
Post-Holy Water, it was personal with John
Post Greek Fisherman, it was personal with all of humanity.
However, He did learn something from being human, and that seems to be patience and understatement. His interactions with John taught him to be subtle and how to watch for scams, as well as whne to get involved and when to sit on the sidelines...
You'd think he would have learned that in Hell, but I think he was so unique and powerful, that he never had to deal withJC level of treachery ,backstabbing and just plain Moxie and Chutzpah. All of Hell's demons were tooo cowardly to pull that shit with him...his brothers were too evenly matched and had no real call to play power games, and the humans that tried it were so stupid and guiless as to seem amusing.
So the point of this rambeling post is that it is not out of charactor for the FOTF to be a LOT smarter, cooler and subtler than he was before. He learned from JC himself.
Don't tell johnny that he taught the "Devil" how to plot...that will really blow his ego into Newcastle levels of Hubris...
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probably the fact that no matter how much it kicks and screams, the guards never come...
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John is Pro-John....and that sums up his feelings on that.
I think any strong feelings he might have had on it got packed up and sent downstairs with the much lamented DC...
-b
Is Constantine bi?
in Hellblazer
Posted
Johnny will do whatever it takes to get the job done...I doubt shagging other guys is his preference, but when he is out to get a piece of hidden knowledge or settle old scores, he'll do whatever it takes.
Besides, after walking out of hell with the arm of the innocent child you just condemed through your arrogence...the hetro fear of cock just doesn't seem to be all that threatning....
so...yes...if its the quickest way to gain someone's trust or drop their guard...he'll let you screw him...but later on he is going to screw you so much harder and in such twisted mental and infernal ways that even the most homophobic of frat boys would be begging for him to just physically assfuck them instead.
In other words...if Johnny is playing the Bi card...the stakes are high and someone is going to be going down hard...
-b