Trace

Wolvy, in this case your opinion is either part of your central argument (ie, "volcanoes are unstable, this is why...") or part of your closing, in which the facts you have previously trotted out lead you to some personal conclusion (ie, "when considering all these factors one cannot help but come to the conclusion that volcanoes are an essential component of life on Earth"). I could be of more help if you provided some more details such as the essay question, your central argument/answer, etc.

"Look on My Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair!"

or

"How I Learned to Stop Worrying and (not) Love the Giant Azure Dick"

How exactly does one go about adapting one of the most profound, challenging, groundbreaking, thought-provoking works of all time into a big budget film? The answer, according to Zack Snyder & Co., is apparently, crassly.

Self-tasked with the impossible goal of re-telling a sprawling, multilayered work of text and art, Snyder has opted to remove all semblance of symbolism, symmetry, perspective, and avant garde structuring to replace them with titillation, pornographic violence, misogyny, and shallow sensationalism.

From the outset the viewer is bombarded with slow-motion ultra-violence set to music that recalls music videos, video game cutscenes, and worst of all, fan-made youtube AMVs. Music, film techniques, and themes exist in a state of non sequitur, a distracting and vexing reality that will go unresolved for the next 2 and a half hours. Sure, the dates mentioned place the story within the same time frames as the comics, but the film's elements never pin this down-- the "present" seems like some mishmash of Cold War 80s and Dubya-run 00s, unfortunately reminiscent of the other recent major Moore adaptation-- V for Vendetta. Watchmen attempts to marry 80s Nuclear paranoia with today's environmental concern, only to have both come across as minor, easily-ignored threats. Pick one and stick with it I say; there isn't enough time to get the audience to invest in both, and you certainly can't please everyone at the same time-- so either go with the original (MAD) and risk losing those too young or uninformed, or choose the latter (Earth) and run with it.

The only bit of symbolism I found in the whole movie was that of Dr. Manhattan's cock. His oversized genitalia is the perfect way to describe this exercise in futility: An aggressive, in-your-face film that substitutes shock value and titillation for depth. In the book, Gibbons purposefully modeled Manhattan's body on Renaissance sculpture. He chose Michelangelo's David, whereas Snyder & Co. seem to have gone with Ron Jeremy. Just to be clear: I have absolutely no problem with nudity (of either sex) in film, so long as it has a point beyond exploitation. Art vs Pornography; restraint vs excess....

The women fare no better, with fairly thankless roles, all 2 of them. Silk Spectre II, an aesthetically-pleasing Malin Ackerman, is little more than jailbait-cum-seductress who is objectified throughout the film by pretty much every other character, including her mother. While Ackerman looks the part, she sure as hell can't play it. I cut her some slack for being stuck with a script laden with awful dialogue and a director obsessed with framing shots like they were static panels in a comic book (newsflash, Zack: posed figures making grand statements and engaging in exchanges of exposition works on the printed page, not in moving pictures; this is where filmic adaptations of comic books succeed or fail). I didn't for one moment buy her attachment to Manhattan, Dreiberg (she sure fell into bed with him quickly!), or her mother. I didn't feel her hate for The Comedian or her conflicted feelings about adventuring. In fact, I didn't empathize with her at all, something the comic was able to do early in the story. Much like the other characters her individual fighting prowess and abilities were strangely ramped up to superhuman levels. When she kicks an attacker in an alleyway, he doesn't just go down-- he goes up, does a 180, bounces off a dumpster, and then crashes to the ground. She made a guy her size look like a kickball. WTF?

The next biggest misfire has to be Billy Crudup's Dr. Manhattan. Here is a character that loses touch with those qualities that once made him human as he becomes more and more a being of pure science. Expressing doubt, conflict, and distance should not be done through whining and sullen expressions. The character is supposed to be one reflection/symmetrical opposition to Rorschach—the uncompromising victim of the laws of the universe. He shouldn't cry about existing in multiple times, he should state it matter-of-factly. He should be blank-faced, so that when people look at him they see what they want to see: A god, a weapon, a man, a lover, an embodiment of hope, etc.

But the worst offender is Matthew Goode's Ozymandias. First off, that accent-- what is it? Swiss? Ignoring the fact that I never read the character as having a German accent, I didn't understand what accent he was trying to affect until the final act. However, this is a minor quibble and the character suffers more from major flaws like poor acting and direction, particularly in regard to facial expressions. Gibbons never drew Ozymandias with a sneer, mischievous grin, or look of utter superciliousness. So why are Goode and Snyder tipping their hand so quickly? And how do they expect us to sympathize with the character? Ozymandias is supposed to be (like most of the cast) a character of greys, yet clearly torn up about what it is he thinks he "has to do." Where is the guilt? The introspection? Here he is presented as a snobby, irredeemable, Machiavellian villain. He is yet another revamped, ramped up character whose tactical fighting skills are overshadowed by his more-than-human physical abilities. When exactly did Ozymandias enter the Matrix?

Nite Owl II is basically the opposite of Silk Spectre II for me: physically not the best match for the character (looks too damn young), but Wilson does a good job portraying him (though he too was often hamstrung by the bad script).

Morgan is solid as The Comedian.

Rorschach is the redeeming factor in this mess, and the film suffers greatly when it abandons him, especially to ruminate on politics, existentialism, and love. The scene where the cops finally catch him has a couple of missteps (he wouldn't have freaked out when he found out he was setup, he's a planner and improviser) and has the same degree of out-of-place superpowers bestowed upon him: we see him survive a two-story leap out of a window, then watch as he starts attacking cops(!). Other than these relatively minor gripes, this is the one character the film got right, not just in terms of the source material, but also in terms of being someone the viewers really want to watch.

Mostly the film fails to translate the themes, structure, or moods of the book. Rather than deconstruct anything Snyder instead tromps out cinematic cliche after cliche, including techniques that he himself has overused by this point-- heavy digital re-coloring, green filters, fluorescent lighting, speed modulation, harsh contrast, grainy film stock, etc. etc. (one thing I'll say about the extreme contrast and film graininess-- it didn't help the makeup/special effects department at all) I don't know what the answer is, but perhaps Snyder should have attempted to deconstruct cinematic storytelling by weaving in different styles of visual storytelling (animation, motion comics, etc.)? Whatever the best alternative, the least he could've done was to not make a fucking video game trailer with subtley-smashing soundtrack and pass it off as a film. (You'd think I'd have learned from 300...) It's yet another example of Watchmen-inspired "grim 'n' gritty" storytelling that mostly misses the point. The point isn't to be dark and brooding and extreme, the point is to take a conventional genre and turn it on its head. (Especially now that grim 'n' gritty is the norm.)

It's impossible to cram the series into such a (relatively) short time frame; even the extra hour the director’s cut will supposedly have will be woefully inadequate.

It doesn't matter anyway because the film is already far too long.

Boring me is a sin, boring me for nearly 3 hours is an unforgivable one.

No, no, no, no, NO.

Do NOT pass GO, Do NOT collect $200M.

NO.

5/10

Long rant to follow.

btw: Worst. Soundtrack/Scoring. Ever.

Anybody watch 30Rock or The Office (U.S.)?

I think they've both been great for 90% of their respective runs (my only real gripe lying with The Office's first season, which simply remade the UK episodes).

I literally LOL at least once during each show-- and nearly piss myself doing so whenever Tracy Morgan's on screen. "I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is that they never get to prove it."

I'm really just watching to see it through. Otherwise, I am apathetic.

Absolute Watchmen.

Greatest thing ever.

Wanted: time machine DESPARATE!!!

Date: 2009-01-12, 5:53PM MST

 

Desperately need a time machine to take me back 6 weeks in time, plus or minus a day. If you have a time machine and are willing to let me borrow it, or know of someone with an impending trip back in time, please let me know ASAP!

 

I will pay big bucks to have myself warned to NOT sleep with that tramp at the One and Only Bar on the Boulevard.

 

Tell me that she is very, VERY fertile that night in question, and has a whopping 3 STDs that I will get if I copulate with her.

 

VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET THIS MESSAGE!!!

 

I WILL WRITE YOU A BLANK CHECK IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES!

 

Key things that will let the me in the past know you are for real:

 

*Tell me that you know about the rubber ducky incident

 

*Tell me that you know that I pissed in my friends pool last week, when he was in it.

 

*Tell me that no matter how hard I try, the lesbian at Barnes and Noble will NEVER go for it, no matter how many sex books I ask her opinions on.

 

If I still doubt you- use this one-----

 

*Mention that you know I made out with my cousin when we were drunk at a kegger last summer- NO ONE KNOWS THIS BUT US TWO!!

 

VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET THIS MESSAGE!!!

Best of CraigsList

So Grand Torino was a joy.

Nothing new at all and it could have done with one more coat of restraint and just a bit of a push in the script department but it's delivered effortlessly, maturely and with a horizon of beguiling depth.

 

Eastwood directs from infront and behind the camera, but it's not Letters from Iwo Jima.

I have to admit, I'm a bit shocked at your response to Gran Torino-- I thought it was awesomely bad. It took me about 20 minutes to figure out that it wasn't an intentional comedy. Eastwood groans and grimaces throughout the film, his character painted in broadstrokes (even when he becomes somewhat redeemable); the cinematography is downright terrible in places; the acting by the supporting cast ranges from solid (the daughter-in-law comes to mind) to beyond-Nicholson hammy as well as just plain unprofessional (which is what you get when you cast a bunch of amateur actors); the dialogue hokey and out-of-date/touch; and perhaps most annoying, the unbelievably contrived plot points (

, Asian girl [randomly] walks home with white boy [that she's apparently dating] and

It really felt like a film made by an old man.

Kate, just see Die Hard already.

The current incarnation of my top 12 (now with less honorable mentions!):

Raging Bull

The Big Lebowski

Full Metal Jacket

Dazed & Confused

City of Lost Children

Reservoir Dogs

Dead Man

Taxi Driver

Meshes of the Afternoon

12 Monkeys

Donnie Darko

Goodfellas

Honorable mention to: Eyes Wide Shut, Fight Club, Ninja Scroll, Amores Perros, Trainspotting, and No Country for Old Men.

I think I would struggle to put together a "Top 50" list.....

Perhaps Letters from Iwo Jima or Don't Look Now?

If I'm not mistaken, we both considered Letters from Iwo Jima to be superior to Flags of Our Fathers.

What a great film that was; some truly heartbreaking moments.

Ah, Testy must've been posting as I was.

Well-written review, and exactly what I figured the film would be-- aesthetically authentic, but nothing else.

On the last episode of "At the Movies" (which used to be Siskel & Ebert, then Ebert & Roeper) Ben Mankiewicz gave the movie a VERY favorable review, noting that nearly the first 30mins is straight out of the comic. Both he and Ben Lyons (who I cannot fucking stand, ditto for his hack of a father) both loved the graphic novel and assured fans that the film was true to the source material while still finding ways to reach out to new/unfamiliar audiences. If I'm not mistaken they called it one of-- if not the-- best comicbook films of all time. BM liked Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl II, and BL loved Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. Both were suitably impressed with Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian.

Nevertheless, my expectations remain lowered.

Excellent. Chuck is way more sinister in that one.

It does. It's very action-oriented, which is par for Tartakovsky's course.

Two undeniably good things about the series: Firstly, that Gen. Grievous is actually a formidable opponent, unlike in the movies; and secondly, all the character development that we didn't get in the films (due to Christensen's shitty acting and Lucas's shitty everything) is finally, properly addressed. It makes "Ani's" [groan] descent into madness/Darkside/kid-killing plausible.

I saw Touch of Evil yesterday.

Which cut?

This looks like an older thread.

Yup, it's from the days when Testy and I were an item.

I don't think I put Insomnia on the list. I might. I really liked that.

Finally, an episode good enough to be compared to any from the first 2 seasons.

Proper villainy, seduction, stuff gettin' blowed up, a bit of the ol' ultra violence, and Saul Tigh not being an annoying mopey [over-used word] for once. Hell, even Starbuck was tolerable.

More of that, please.

I like where this is going.

I like both of the animated Clone Wars series, and so far prefer the Genndy Tartakovsky produced one.

I've been talking about Star Wars with my friend for the past few weeks, he used to love the films as I once did, but now he's like me-- hating all of them except Empire. Even the original one falls short for us, mostly due to Lucas's scripting and direction. There are some fantastically great elements to the SW universe, I just wish someone other than Lucas got to develop them for the majority of the films.

I saw Blindness based on Slinker's unrelenting boner for that film, and let me say, it is awful. Too self-concerned from a stylistic standpoint, and not enough so from a character development standpoint, the film is an arty mess. To quote one reviewer: “Blindness is a dreary and unpleasant picture, both grubby and pretentious."

Where Slumdog Millionaire (mostly) succeeded in balancing gruesome displays of humanity's lower depths with humanity's penchant for hope and the strength love can imbue them with, Blindness fails miserably in that respect. (I didn't even like Slumdog all that much, for whatever that's worth)

The acting is woefully bad at times, yet the fault lies mostly with the script and the direction. I'm willing to bet that the novel is 1000 times better-- you almost get a sense for it the way the film adaptation occasionally brushes up against a story that has a wider scope, before we're dragged back down to the broadstroked characters and cliched moments of man's inhumanity to man.

Grubby and pretentious, indeed.

D-

(probably the worst film of 2008, imho)

I think it will turn out to be a good film, just not a good adaptation.

I'm sure it will look cool, and be entertaining, but I'm not expecting even 1/1000 of the level of depth the comic had.

Fantastic Four #564

Not bad, mostly setup for the remainder of the arc with some pretty panels from Hitch.

The Twelve #0-8

One of the best comics of 2008 continues on strongly. Weston has knocked it out the park on nearly every issue, some really nice stuff from him, especially the Black Widow (the Golden Age one, not the Russian superspy). The powers/abilities of the 12 are interesting (in most cases) and the backstories are great-- updated GA ideals that then get filtered through Modern Day realities. There are elements of Moore's MiracleMan, Morrison's SSoV, Ellis' Planetary and Millar's Ultimates, yet the series is unique enough that you haven't seen this all before.

Highly recommended.

You are just jealous that mine is bigger than yours. So there.

Oh, them fighting words! It ain't 'bout the size but quality, buddy!

Not something I ever thought I'd hear a black man say.

Jason, you complete me.

Peace be with you, Tony.

I will pet many puppies in your absence.

Trace, are you on something awful?

The website or drugs?

Both, you can pick or choose I guess.

I merely troll SA-- I'm afraid that if I register I'll get sucked in and devote my life to nonsensical hilarity.