A. Heathen
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Posts posted by A. Heathen
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Here you go
A is the attacking team
D is the defending team
X is the ball at the start
P is where the ball ends up
All of these apply at the point the ball is passed forward
......................AX......................................D..P.A....................
......................GOAL...............
ONSIDE (LEVEL)
......................AX......................................D.......................
....................P.A....................
......................GOAL...............
OFFSIDE
......................AX.........D.............................D..................P A2.....
.....................A1....................
......................GOAL...............
OFFSIDE (A1 not A2 - referees decide if A1 is "interfering" with the goalkeepers view)
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Now, can someone explain to me the offside rule in clear and simple English (preferably in 10 words or less...)?
I did an "idiot's guide to..." search on Google, but I'm obviously too much of an imbecile to understand.
I've never really followed football, but work demands that I at least have a basic knowledge of the rule.
Cheers!
Easy.
If the linesman thinks you are offside then you are.
Even if he's wrong.
In detail:
It is offside at the moment that an attacking player passes the ball forwards, if it is towards one of his team mates (what they call being the field of active play or some such nonsense) and that team mate is closer to the goal line than the second last player (the last player is usually, but not always the goalie). Being level is supposed to be considered as onside. If a player was offside but does not get near the ball at first, but then gets it later in the same move they should be considered offside. This caused MUCH concern among players manager and media last year, but it is quite simple.
Also, most linesmen give decisions based on when they happen to look up and see the players running onto a pass. Linesmen are failed referees. Referees are all rubbish football players seeking to get their revenge on the better kids (qv David Elleray).
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Giant sand you say? Hmmmm.
How much are tickets?
Well, Giant Sand is on the Thursday.
Think the tickets are sold out.
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V Pub from next Thursday will be The Prince of Wales Feathers on Warren Street.
Fitzrovia on Goodge Street does food but is OUT OF FAVOUR since they sneered at someone for being "one of the comics lot" when a more accurate description would have been "one of the weekly dozen or more = fifty pints and food lot" and no sneer.
Pubs right by the museum are shite.
As you are stopping near Russell Square, I can recommend The Friend at Hand on Herbrand St.
I am going to see Giant Sand, so I'll see you all on Friday at the Ship at around 6pm.
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She did during "Guys and Dolls".
DUH !
See what happens when I take my eye off the ball ?
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If it clears you up Tom (and it won't), England were SHITE tonight.
Although the Azerbaijanis were about the same level as my Sunday veterans team, and the referee was quite possibly the worst in the world (evidence: he does not know the backpass rule, and he does not know the "defender feigning injury to prevent a certain goal" rule).
The players let themselves down again.
However, what FUCKING IDIOT MANAGER supposedly plays three up front and then has Rooney and Owen out wide ?
Other than the single solitary lonely goal, England only looked like winning a header up front when Alan Smith came on. He and Wright Phillips should have come on at half time (if not from the start).
SHITE.
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I have never strayed from loving Tool (or Maynard related projects).
Has anyone else heard their cover of the Beatles' "Imagine"?
OI !!!
Are you MAD ???
Write out a hundred times: "I must not confuse The Beatles seventies solo work with their collective sixties greatness (although anything after John Lennon's death is fair game)."
btw J. Mac, following your early listen to the REM album via download, I wish to review my comments, and say that live, these songs had MUCH MORE COLOUR than they do on the album, which I shall hereby refer to as "Don't Go Back To Dullsville".
However, I shall be setting the digital radio recorder for
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/events/rem/
on October 23rd
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A cure for gay ?
But what will we listen to in our pop charts ?!
Is there a cure for bigotted assholes hiding behind religion and psuckology ?
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Nergal and Ellie ?
If she were Ellie's daughter (can succubuses have babies ?) she'd be much subtler AND have double the reason for revenge.
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Market research.
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James - does hell really have fucking? ;)
As we used to say when I was younger,
I hope so, because if it does, I'm going there.
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Huh huhhuh.
You said "facial".
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Nothing.
Secret plans.
Nothing to see.
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You should hear Julian Cope when he's talking about the Odinist nature of Black Sabbath (et al).
"There's Cavalier Ozzy with a band made up of roundheads"
And if I can find my Rock Family Tree VHS in time for next week ... The one about Ian Gillan joining Sabbath is my fave !
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When did Rogan start pretending to be Ade?
It was no Rogue posting.
I should give Roganovich a few lessons in punning stunts to ade his career as a translation serbice.
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"Nor aught availed him now to have built in heaven high towers; nor did he scrape by all his engines, but was headlong sent with his industrious crew to build in hell. "
John Milton PARADISE LOST
Interesting to note that some quotes have "scrape" and others have "scape" as in escape.
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Meanwhile, here are some of my greatest hits:
I heard that they needed longer to do the CGI demons so as they look less like Shrek.
But I heard they had to re-dub all the dialogue in Constantine.
Because it might make more sense in Aramaic.
I heard the film was delayed so they can get a couple more TPB collections out.
No, really.
And they want to CGI a cute little blue demon sidekick into the film.
I heard that they delayed it to refilm all of Nic Cage's scenes with that nice Ted "Theodore" Logan out of The Matrix. Has anyone else heard this ?
I heard that the reason the Constantine film has been delayed is so that they can do CGI stuff to Shia, so he looks like a forty year old taxi driver, you know, like that pink monkey fellow in Lord of the Rings.
And these two are my faves (not including the one where I say "PG-13 MY ARSE!")
JULY 4th 2004
Let us be clear that the problems with "Constanteen" can be condensed down to two phrases: "PG13" and "derivative of Buffy/Angel".
Now the latter is understandable. Hollywood loves safety, whereas the best cinema is invariably risky - or "different". But why can't someone make an adult movie with the source material provided by nigh on 200 issues of Hellblazer ?
Posted: 17 Aug 2004 21:00 Post subject: Constanteen amnesty
It's been a good week for the film.
The poster scans look quite nice.
We have a Hellblazer fan who likes what they have seen.
The new soundtrack person worked on Bubba Ho Tep.
Now all we need is to find out the delay is to rebrand it from PG13 to R.
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Think he chose "matadoor" because of all the bullocks he deals with?
(Yeah, and the other stuff)
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Since it is a god-given right to carry a gun, perhaps it should be deemed an "act of god" ?
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WARNING: CONTAINS SCARY THINGS, HERESY, SATANIC RITUALS, JUMP CUTS, BUFFYESQUE DEMONS, SOFT ROCK SOUNDTRACK, AUDIENCE SWEARING & DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME WITH A TOASTER AND A BUCKET OF WATER.
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On a related note: http://www.comicon.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb....c&f=36&t=002879
I particularly like the line quoted as by Peter David, which paraphrases as "why kill characters who have no potential, why not kill the ones who do have potential?" because that is what often happens in real life.
Incidentally, trivia buffs, name a Hellblazer supporting character who died of natural causes. No points for saying Mary Constantine.
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That second thing might constitute a spoiler.
Funny, though.
It would only be a spoiler for Film X if it was actually what happened in Film X.
It is however what happens in Film B, and close enough to what happened in Comic H.
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excellent job !
Your work here is done.
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Yes, Mister Roganovich, make it so.
Constantine: a movie by Warner Brothers
in Comics in other media
Posted
I don't think there is any proof on Club Keanu that they are reshooting.
It reads like they are citing comments from here that they SHOULD reshoot.
I heard the delays are so that the producers can hide fetishes in all of our houses so that if we say bad things about the film after its release we will all waste away like Christian Bale, Lena Zavaroni or (in Mark's & Jamesie's case) put on weight like Mr Creosote.