Qusoor

It's not easy being mean.

John Constantine: He dips his wick in hell.

Since the latest incarnaton of Constantine isn't good for much else but mockery... I figure we could have some fun. Caption this... or supply better dialog.

First up the introduction of Nightmare Nurse in Phantom Stranger #8

John's not looking in her eyes, is he?

DC writers must be suffering crises in their confidence because their stuff sucks so bad they are getting canceled willy nilly.

Well, a lot of the writng isn't being donw by the writers. A lot of it's being handed down from the editors.

John appeared in FIVE different comics last month alone.

Constantine 11

Justice League Dark 28

DC Universe Vs Masters of the Universe 5

Phantom Stranger 16

Trinity of Sin Pandora 8

Fuck me.

Ha!

Yeah, I was surprised to see a "three-way" being discussed in this watered-down book, but the characterization is so shallow that it makes up for any sort of "adult" entertainment discussed.

 

John was in All-Star Western? Was he time-traveling? Was he dressed like a cowboy?

Apparently Jonah Hex was. And Constantine meets him at Burning Man.

Here you go,. Because I know you won't sleep until it's a big, pretty scan.

My scanner's busted.

And I missed that John showed up in three issues of All-Star Western. Jesus fuck, he's all over the place.

I'm hoping that they take some pages from True Detective and make it gritty and weird.

And someone has asked Hellblazer "Superfans" to contact him because he may have a way to influence the show.

Any information I receive will be passed on.

Well, I'm not expectig a great deal from a man who doesn't know that human bodies are mostly water.

I'm staying negative since it's mostly been shite.

If some writer with some talent could wriggle out of DC's overwhelming editorial heavy-handedness, there could be good Constantine again.

But that's two ifs.

Well, the title is correct, it certainly is a blight.

I would not like to predict what any writer would do for three or four years on a comic, but if we're just suggesting writers who might have done a better job than Milligan a few spring to mind. Starting with the most obvious:

John Smith

China Meiville

Darko MacCann

Denise Mina

Alan Grant

Pat Mills

Followed by non comic booky writery types:

Ramsey Campbell

Kim Newman

M John Harrison

 

Pat Mills is an interesting choice. Seeing I've been familar with his Doctor Who works

Tell me I'm not the only person who loves Charley's War.

So.

Who would be the worst Constantine?

I'll open with Tom Greene.

You guys are missing the point. We now know Nick Necro is a breast man.

I figured that was John. There's smoke coming out of it.

 

:icon_wink:

That's just the huge amount of smoke DC it trying to blow up our asses.

 

*Snigger*

How long before John gets into the suit, do you think?

They are claiming they were already paid for the movie is what I heard.

Yeah, they're tying it to the film rights, or some other such rubbish. Becuase with something that's going to cost more than a million an episode, with at least four producers, the creative people without which the character wouldn't exist aren't worth $2K an episode.

Turns out this just another dull douchecanoe in a trenchcoat

And this is just lies. No Deadman. No John (although John was previously involved with Eclipso). To Ebay!

The thing about being close to hawks, I found, is that I wondered how the fuck we didn't know they were dinosaurs. The scaly feet, the mean look in the eye, the readiness to tear the shit out of you if they don't get their food: they're so totally dinosaurs. And at $100 an hour, yes, you do get to handle the birds, whether you are crying or not.

Our guide there is Australian.

Not to completely hijack the thread... and I'd feel guilty about it if we were talking about something interesting. But anyway, I live near the British School of Falconry in Vermont. So every now and then, I take friends and we fly birds.

OK, can I say my least favorite new DC thing is putting John on the cover, and then not having him in the story. I got two of those goofy 3D covers, and no John.

This sounds more interesting that what's currently happening in the mothly. But so does collecting my belly-button lint.

Although it will give me ammunition to stick it to my Skeletor-loving co-worker.