Qusoor

This was after I got invoted to the set, which would have been damned funny.

I'm still irked that last minute Real Life Stuff fucked my chance of being flown out to LA, was all set to get my whore on and do a complete 180 for that sweet, sweet Yankee Dollar.

 

Frank Cappello posted as TearsInRain and, to be fair to the guy, he ended up being alright - still shows up every couple of years to hint at a possible sequel.

Oh they did contact you. I said I couldn't do it (I was moving house from California to Vermont that week), and I suggested they make the offer to you. I sort of assumed that they never did, as flying you from Ireland would have been expensive.

I've seen a few references around the forum to a furore surrounding the comments made on this site about Constanteen and reaction to it.

 

i think I missed this when I was away fom the forum for a while - anyone care to summarise for me?

The scriptwriter used to show up here, and it seems he and I regard each other as massive twats.

This was after I got invoted to the set, which would have been damned funny.

I expect nothing but horror, pain, and torture....for the reader.

 

I hope that it ends with an extra-dimensional threat coming on the scene and DC Earth and Hellblazer Earth have to merge, and in the ashes, only DCU John is left. Then, we move on with the wonders of Constantine and forget that HB ever existed.

I'm not even talking about in the comics either. I mean, this will really happen. All of our Hellblazer comics will be erased by the new continuity. We won't even realize there was a comic called Hellblazer. This section of our Forum will be gone.

Only Slinker will have vague memories of the former reality, and so we'll call him "Psycho Pirate", for some odd reason.

And, of course, the extra-dimensional threat will be known as the DiDio.

From what I know of the Mafia, from what I have read in books, you don't wack a guy without permission, especially the boss's daughter's man, unless you wanna get whacked yourself.

England's got a tradition of mistaking a wish for an order ("Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?") for assasination.

What do you hope it will be?

What do you think it will be?

I've got this odd little thing in my head that John's going to send his nephew to New York, and will hear that the little shit's calling himself John Constantine.

Do you think Milligan will acknnowledge "Royal Blood"? Do you think he's even aware of it?

I forgot Dani was dead.

 

 

And this felt like him ripping off Delano's four skinheads.

 

Sans them pummeling each other to death over football.

Which I have a soft spot for. It was pretty amusing.

I forgot Dani was dead.

 

And this felt like him ripping off Delano's four skinheads.

Yawn.

I was bored.

So far, Constantine has guested in:

I, Vampire #4

Amethyst #4

Phantom Stranger #4

This seems very... mechanical.

*pictures DC editor with a dart board*

Yeah. *thunk* 34 to....* thunk* 46.

while it's natural to deny one's age, Azz and Milligan have gone to such an extreme in revisionist behavioral cosmetic surgery that their versions of John are figurative old ladies gone under the knife too often, like the cat lady.

 

this is what Azz and Milligan have done to our John.

 

Is that the new cover to Plastic Surgery Disasters? If it isn't, it ought to be.

On the one hand, the whole mysterious stranger aspect is sticking closely to the Alan Moore version of John. But, at the same time, John was a supporting character in Moore's Swamp Thing. It's hard to have an entire series about a character portrayed in such a manner.

But Azz's Constantine was a dick. And as you wend deep down further and further, he was still a dick. Alan Moore's John had vulnerable moments, unexpected tenderness, and surprises, both plotwise and character-wise, up his sleeve. Azz's was a martinet, wooden as anything, who had no subtext, no agency (most of the plots happened to him--Moore's chracter was a plot device in a dirty mac and still had more depth), no depth.

Or, well, I suppose that's should I have a big fucking read-through? Just start from back in Swamp Thing and go and go and go untl I get to #300?

Loafers! KILL EM WITH FIRE!!

What's with the fucking white ankle socks with the terrible loafers? I mean, what's next, John finds himself in sandals and dark socks?

forgive a man's ignorance here, but didn't they already try that in their storied past?

Yes, but it wasn't tried by this particular group of jokers.

Here's the first sneak peak:

http://authorbobfree...-constantine-1/

"What Constantine learns in this first issue

will shake the very foundations of the New 52…

and only he knows how to deal with it!"

So... nothing interesting or of consequence then. I adore how all of these titles trumpte massive consequences because of the storyline, and yet so few have any lasting impact at all.

I read Justice League Dark #0, and the story is forever burned into my memory, like a brand on a cattle. Sometimes I wake up at night, screaming, "My brain, it is on fire!", as my nightmares are made of the horrors of which that story was created, in the deepest nether-bowels of Hell, itself. I wish I could scratch the story from my very brain, but alas, I am forever cursed to remember what I have now seen.

Don't worry. One good flush and it all swirls away.

There's nothing in that I find objectionable

Do excuse me while I get my nerd on, But John's not a whisky drinker.

So he's turning into a pale imitation of a Dashiel Hammet character.

No more Newcastle, or Ravenscar. No more monkey in his past. No more Kit or Dani. No more 'fuck you Maggie.' Probably no more 'fuck you' ever. Nergal will probably show up in some sort of wanker's cape. I bet he never called Batman squire, never tricked the Triumvirate of Hell, was never in Mucous Membrane.

John has now never spent time being homeless, no longer makes his money by ripping off rich wankers. Never shagged a lesbian. Hasn't told Merlin what a tosser he was, never made a deal with God, hasn't slugged a Santa in the street. Hasn't fucked a dog on the Internet, doesn't shove all his bad bits in Hell, hasn't fucked a succubus. Future writers will probably forget that John nicked the Testament of the Niphelim, shot the man who murdered his father, then forgave his father and left him to Hell. Probably has never been to the Vatican, or cut off his own thumb.

I don't approve of all of it, and some of it was shite, but there's a richness to the character that is being swept away. All these stories never happened to the new Constantine. Looking back reminds me of how much I REALLY have enjoyed all the very good bits Hellblazer had to offer, and how much I like the Sweary British Mage. How iconic he has become.

Time to reread it from the beginning, I think.

Want me to ask him?

Yeah, I'd say a cross-over by issue 4

Seems to be the formula. And these books are big on their formula.

Alan Moore steps out of the shadows and stabs him over and over again screaming "How's that you fucking [over-used word]!"

Of course, they're whoring him out good the month before. He's in Phantom Stranger 4, Sword of Sorcery 4, and Animal Man 16.

I realized what it'll mean for him to step back into the DCU, and that's the complete loss of the personal stories. John's always going to be the bombastic prick who's always telling people how clever he is.

That said, I REALLY FUCKING WANT Constantine and the Joker to dance. I'll be completely dissappointed with the comic, but in my head, it's the best outcome of John coming back to the DCU.

Swamp Thing 48: A Murder of Crows. We see John on his high horse, and throughout the issue, the shit keeps getting deeper and deeper until he's drowning in it.

Bissette's art has never been better. The story was pretty much the prototype for everything that came later.

Another Day One-er...!

'Member back in the old days, when comics was only on paper, and who wrote them mattered?

Also, confession time, I've never read Alan Moore's Swamp Thing.

Well, I certainly don't consider you some sort of semiliterate subhuman who has somehow learned not to make messes on the floor.