Qusoor

Hey, remember when they did this back in Hellblazer 10, and it a) didn't suck and b) had a really good artist? And they've mentioned Newcastle. Where he was dead. If Johnny came to new York to study magic when he was a kif, why do all his significant events happen in the UK?

If there isn't a button to light a ciggie or flip someone off, I'm not interested.

Man, at the LEAST, he should have fucking lit a ciggie with the SHAZAM lightning. John's all about using things in ways people haven't previously. And taking the piss out of pompous pricks that really need it. Which DC DESPERATELY needs.

A stunning amount of nothing happened in this ish.

Sigh.

I'm really considering dropping the series. The writing is so superficial, John's pulling shit out that we didn't see happen ("I already cast an 'I'm smarter than you spell!") which is how the poor writer writesd smart. If Trinity Wars is a huge pile of crap, I'm considering just stepping off.

Ah, it's the 90's again. Which means we can look forwad to this 3d crap appearing on cereal boxes in a few years.

wooooooooo...

What else do you need to know about the internet?

Am I writing Hellblazer?

I didn't comment in the Ellis one cause Ade summed up my feelings for the most part and he's only gone and done the same here, the bastard (not [over-used word]).

 

The story with the small rural town that supported itself through online porn, utter rubbish.

I still to this day don't understand how that's their only option...unless Bruce Wayne SW Manor were the Fermin Bros only contact

Because they had no money, and porn is cheap to make. It costs next to nothing to buy those high-capacity servers, lay fiber-optic wire to deliver it, set up the encrypted server.

Basically, Brian outed himself as someone who knew shit-all about the Internet, except that he liked porn.

If it weren't for crossovers, Constantine wouldn't have had a good one-liner for years.

I reply with this bit of Zatanna Cosplay...

Here you go. The organless, Liefeld look.

She should be with me. the only thing i like about JLD is how sexy the artist draws Zatanna. It gets me worked up to the point of needing to go jogging, which I can't do fror obvious reasons.

Zatanna. Zatanna would rock a trenchcoat.

I wonder if DC has a standards and practices board. I bet there will never be an active poly relationship in the DC.

Zee's adventurous. Clearly, a magical threeway. And possibly a bit of Bruce on the side.

Huh. I've read better, but there were two good moments. I liked Alan Moore's "How do you baffle a vegetable" joke enough that I didn't mind seeing it a second time.

I hate Mr. E. as Southern Gerntleman. It's one small step from the cliche Southern crap accent to full-on Foghorn leghorn. I found the Spectre thing a very poorly-constructed reason for Consantine's writer to tell us his long game. I'm sad that they've reskinned the Bujeria. The Cold Flame are more white. And a lot less competent. The brujeria were frightening and threatening. Not so much the Cold Flame. I wonder how many 'homages' to Moore's Swamp Thing we're going to get, and how many of them will lack the nuance of the original.

John's best moments of the month seem to have come from I, Vampire #18, where he's a complete condescending prick.

 

Also though, professional wrestling has seen a similar change. You see, the media is looking down on steroids. All those jacked superheroes and villains you remember from the early-90s have deflated considerably as the risks of steroids and cracking down on providers have proliferated.

That's right kids. All the heroes you remember so fondly from the early-90s, with their rippling muscles, they were all on the juice! Every one of them. That's also why they behaved so violently.

I gotta admit, there were times in the 90's when I wondered if the muscle-bound guys could scratch their own backs.

Why does absolutely every character have to be skinny? I liked the heft of the original/real Papa Midnite. It really suited him.

Because slash writers are now an important demographc.

Are you sure? He looks a lot like King Peacock from Top 10.

The new Mr. E is so stupid. Not that anyone remembered or cared about the character by 2013 anyway, but a southern gentleman? Really? He's not an interesting character anymore. Did they change his origin to make him more PG friendly? But, still, why a southern gentleman?

Because he wears (wore) a white suit.

Here hoping the it drops faster then the WTF Certified logo

That was amazingly stupid.

Yep, issue #5 is part of the "Trinity War" crossover....

 

CONSTANTINE #5

Written by RAY FAWKES

Art and cover by RENATO GUEDES

On sale JULY 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+

As the TRINITY WAR rages around him, John Constantine takes a keen interest in Billy Batson’s power of Shazam! But does he want to mentor Billy or destroy him?

"Sha-fucking-zam. That's it, you mincing little pillock?"

Fuck!

 

How soon til they shrink?

Right after issue 1.

Should be able to see that now, hopefully. Sorry.

I....

I...

I'm just saring at this like I'm having a total brain meltdown. Holy fuck this looks stupid.

Dunno what that is, but you kind of screwed up posting it.

Right back to Secret Sacred Crisis, aren't we?