A. Heathen

same thing.

The point was ... Oooh James has a longer memory !

5.Carey (low characterization)

I'm sorry, but that's a bizarre thing to say.

Please explain.

I think he means the ones that are "whiny AND pointless" rather than the whiny ones and the pointless ones.

Incidentally (and woefully off topic) have you heard the band, Hem ?

Not really !

It's a play on the thread title (if you are familiar with the story - actually it is TWO plays on the thread title.

And that's my favourite anagram ever.

Except perhaps for "I'm an evil Tory bigot".

If you see the after-credits scene it will spoil THE WHOLE MOVIE.

No, I am joking.

And yet I am serious.

Ha Ha Ha.

In case anyone is wondering ... that is twenty seven minutes of my life I will never get back.

Most of the obvious points have been observed - here's some more (in ascending order of something or other):

The visual set-pieces are nice.

Constanteen's cigarette stubbing in his own blood.

Sadly, Keanu's delivery of Constantinian wisdom was not as punchy as it seemed in the action-highlight - I mean trailers. He's okay at "irreverent" but not at "moribund".

Tilda Swinton could have done with a modulated voice, because now I know why so many Amerikids have missed that "she" is not a she. The final scene is good, as Constanteen walks away.

Herman Monster, erm, Peter Stormare - I admire them not quite bringing something to what Al Pacino and Robert De Niro have done before, but it does not quite work - except that lighting the ciggie thing.

Rachel in water: looks like some sort of "moist English girl" fetish.

Nice cleavage shot though. Hubba Hubba !

Beeman (insects, geddit?), Hennessy (alcohol, geddit?) and Chaz really are thrown-away (mis)interpretations of Hellblazer supporting cast.

Dialog (sic): Angie's "sulphur!", Ellie's "holy water!", Satan's "sacrifice!" = writer's exposition! And very corny, thanks.

To see this sort of thing delivered with its deserved level of seriousness, you merely need to watch Evil Dead 2 where Ash say "workshed!"

In fact, someone joked on the imdb forum about Sam Raimi making "Constanteen - The TV Series" with Kevin Sorbo. I say go for the top and ask Bruce Campbell with Ted Raimi as Chaz.

Holy Shotgun scene really lived down to my expectations. Utter bollocks.

Oh, Mr McMahon, did my snoring alienate you last year or do yez want to share a room again ?

Bristol Comic Expo : May 14th-15th

So, time to start planning.

Once again I shall be J1Pping.

There'll be the Hellblazer panel on Saturday around three and the Alan Moore panel (rather exciting news there) on Sunday around three.

I propose that we ALL watch That Dreadful Film at some point, recording the "fan commentary" for the DVD ;-) Then again, I barely see the point of watching it again for two hours, so I might just produce an edited version :-) around forty minutes long I reckon

Hey. 

 

Saw the movie last weekend and I think it was the worst of both worlds: 

 

1.  if I hadn't read the comics it wouldn't have made much sense; and

 

2.  since I have read the comic, I was predisposed not to like it

 

All in all, I thought it was piss-poor but not completely offensive, as there wasn't much at all to remind you of the actual character of Constantine.

I think, therefore, you am

right.

Nobody ever lost money underestimating the lowest common denominator.

Can I have one, but will you destroy it for me?

I would be doing someone a service :-p

Only joking. I have it somewhere.

Presumably the radio edit has the lines "You fucking disappoint me, you fucking useles Hollywood cocksucking scumbags" removed ?

Fuck off I was being rhetorical !

If Warners want to pay me for some DVD extras, I am available.

Meanwhile that shite poster appeared all over London's Underground this morning.

It truly is worthless - especially compared with the US poster / book cover.

Perhaps I should also remind people of my suggestion for various writers, doing shorter arcs each, with perhaps one regularly recurring one to keep the strands together.

i just reread   HB #162-#163. There is the book/ who is the guy who kills Angie White and takes that book?

 

This is far and away the most asked question in the history of the site - the answer, as Christian says, is no-one knows.

It was Mike Carey.

Before you get that german thing where you take pleasure from other people's misfortunes ("snarkengloaten" ?), Boogeyman was a PG13 and while Warner's desire to make Constanteen a kiddies film was not fulfilled, they have one of the biggest R film release weekends ever.

And who wouldn't take a Will Smith action-romance over a Keanu Reeves NOT-ACTION-adventure.

As much as this may conflict with people's world-view, Constanteen is a success in the box office.

Never ever go hill-climbing.

That is all.

Put it towards the flight to Bristol.

SHit, I've just realised who Matadoor was, and why he has gone quiet recently !

There is more substance in one page of John Shirley's version than in the entire script, comic adaptation and what I have seen of the film.

Ask me nicely and I'll tell you which page.

He has fucked off, and he is bothering someone else with his meaningless bollocks.

However, we all know whose arse he is eating, and it's not yours.

By the way, anyone want Annotations for the film ?

That's terrible John. Have you no faith that the characters ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING ABOVE THEIR FOREHEADS and that is what the writers wanted you to see?

Ade - can you get me a copy of #202? Srbian post though it was a good issue to start collecting, so they didn't bring it to me...

Yes, will include it with your AHE, which is now ready for posting on Saturday.

1) Azzarello.

2) Jenkins.

3) Delano.

4) Ennis.

5) Ellis and Carey, tied at last.

Wow, swap Jenkins with Ennis and my list is the exact opposite of that.

In fact, if you take the worst of each, then my list is exactly the reverse.

(Ennis - his worst being the throwaway "come back" Son of Man arc - was more consistent than Delano and Jenkins)

However, if you look at their quintessential Hellblazer stories, it's different again:

Delano: Newcastle, Family Man, Going For It.

Brian Azzarello: Freezes Over, Hard Time, (Mad Dogs and Englishmen).

Warren Ellis: Haunted, The Crib.

Mike Carey: Red Sepulchre, Ward 24/Out of Season, A Game of Cat & Mouse, All His Engines.

Ennis: Dangerous Habits, Rake at the Gates of Hell, Fear & Loathing.

Paul Jenkins: Widdershins, Last Man Standing, How To Play With Fire, Critical Mass.

Oh bollocks.

Just found out that Mark Steele was on Question Time.

And yet the advert was ideally placed adjacent to the pile of ARSE that is Channel Four's "The Exorcism", I hope that people who watch this will be very happy with Constanteen.