A. Heathen

And just so you don't have to go there, here is a summary of the IMDB Constanteen forum:

30% "This film is gr8, bcoz ..."

15% "This film suckz bcoz, Keenoo is rubbish/horror is rubbish/IT IS THE WORK OF SATAN"

5% "This film sucks because Constanteen is not blond/english/scouse/look-like-Sting/not not not Keanu"

10% "This film sucks because it is not an adaptation of Hellblazer"

13% "Is Lucifer/Satan/Constantine gay" / "Is Gabriel gay/female/evil/half-breed?"

0.666% "Where can I get that tattoo?"

0.333% "Does Chaz/Shia die?"

1% "Read the Straight to Hell forum for more info."

5% "What happened in this film ?"

2% "I {heart} Keanu/Gavin/Rachel/cock"

3% About the sequel

7% Applied theology

8% "All comics fans are nerds/obsessed/gay/cock."

In reply to Matadoor's

"Did Constantine 'DUPE' both Satan and GOD?? "

Addressed to Matadoor.

And I am sorry John, but this is a gem from imdb that needs to be seen here.

If Aliensfromslc is here at Straight to Hell, we've got your back, dude !

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We must be looking at two different films because the Constantine I saw on screen never had faith in God though he had knowledge of his existence AND never repented for his past atrisions. How can you explain Constantine not having FAITH or asking genuinely for God's forgiveness?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I can't believe you STILL DONT GET IT. Do you know what "faith" means? It means believing in something you can't see or prove. He KNOWS FOR A FACT that God exists, this is what it means when he "has no faith"...because he KNOWS. This point was even stated, declared in the movie itself.

 

John: Haven't I served Him enough? What does He want from me?

Gabe: Only the usual..self sacrifice, belief

John: Oh I believe for Christ sake!

Gabe: No no no, you KNOW. And there's a difference. You've -seen-!

 

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Constantine played out his had to avoid Hell and gain ANY type of LEVERAGE over GOD. He finally figured out what he needed to do (self-sacrifice vs. sending diminions back to hell) as things were unraveling. He took his chance and played out his hand considering the risks-(dying of lung cancer anyway). It was brill. and clearly Constantine's greatest con job. Surely Constantine is capable of sizing up a situation and making quick decisions for his own selfish benefit.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You can con Satan (which he did, unintentionally) because Satan is not omniscient. You CANNOT however con God who is omniscient. Therefore, the Sacrifice would not have counted unless Constantine really meant it. Which part of this do you not understand? Are you making the argument that God is not omniscient, or what's your point?

 

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ALienfromslc why are you puting such a born again Christian spin on this movie? You make it sound as though Constantine has accepted God and is now reborn. The fact is, right before he chews his gum, JC remarks, "some people like it, and some people don't"- Tells me he doesn't care/Give a *beep* one way or the other. There was no Pro-Christian doctrine underlying JC's motivation- He just wanted to avoid hell at all costs.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Stop pulling the religion card on Alienfromlc. You're one of those people who are mad because the movie portrayed John Constantine as something very different from the comic books and you're trying to convince yourself that they are the same in every way. There is no Pro-Christian doctrine, and you're right he wants to avoid hell at all costs but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with God. He KNOWS God personally, like an acquantaince, he doesn't approve of their little wager. A "pro-Christian" doctrine (which would involve "faith" because that is what Christianity is about) is thus irrelevant in this movie and to John so I'm not sure why you are bringing this up.

Purple prose is Matadork, of course !

UK publicity AT LAST.

Channel 4 have a programme about exorcism ... and in the ad break there's our old friend Constanteen.

And I repeat:

if I had not got previous knowledge of this film, I might have been interested.

(Still odd to hear the pronunciation "Constanteen")

This film is getting fuck all coverage in the UK press.

Even a royal wedding is getting more coverage !

Shadow Dog would be great, but they'd probably fuck that one up by having John reverse time to stop the apocalypse from being started or some shit.

"RUN CONSTANTEEN RUN" (#181)

but John runs backwards aroun the Earth to make it spin backwards, thus reversing time and bringing <spoiler> back to life.

"MY LIFE AS A SHADOW DOG"

The Beast With No Name pretends to be a shadow dog, much to the amusement of his family, and their neighbours, the Nergal family.

"THE HAUNTED"

Magician, Josh Wright invites all of Constantine's allies to a BIG SCARY HOUSE, and the die HORRIBLY, one by one !

"CONSTANTEEN and CHAZ's BOGUS JOURNEY"

(obv.)

Ok, so....

 

Isabel commits suicide so she can't be used to bring hell on earth - thus saving every living soul on Earth - goes to hell.

 

John Constantine commits suicide to safe his piece of fluff - goes to heaven.

I wish I'd said that.

Like to help you mate, but I'm a Yank (like Constantine).

No, I'm offering to get them for anyone who wants to buy them !

Mark, I will see what happens tomorrow lunchtime and I am sure we can "negotiate".

I was reading Mark's very excellent comments about John's "ageing process" in John Shirley's "so many Constantines" thread, and it occurs to me that I have said all along that Mike's run was about maturing - in John, but also in Gemma (as I argued with Luis, way back when he decried her apparent wilfully ignoring Kit's advice to stay away from magic). She's mirroring John even more now, and I can see my fantasy Hellblazer series becoming reality (ie John still the focus but occasional longer arcs with Gemma and perhaps even other characters getting their own issues).

Not *every* month, but maybe a few every year.

This was immense.

Yes the ten was me.

What (some people) have to remember is that (sadly) this is still a monthly series and not a series of graphic novels. The idea of having each issue tease for the next is a well-established practice and the simple story told in this arc was "who is Rat-boy?" which is given nice, cliffhangery closure.

In fact, when the TPBs become the format of choice for new readers this is pretty much the first time ever that new readers are going to be chomping at the bit for the next trade.

So yah boo, sucks to you.

As for Mike "biting off more than he can chew" well that's ironic since I don't think there is a better chewer of a comic story at the moment (at least not in a genre that interests me). I've said to a few friends who are <quote> bored with Hellblazer these days <end quote> that they would forgive their beloved superhero monthly pulps and at least Hellblazer is not retelling the same old stuff but with different coloured capes.

Excellent delivery of Gemma's fate at the hands of Simon.

And she looks better than she ever did under M.Frusin.

And the big reveal was mis-directed right up to the end.

Four lots of 12 or so issues £12 each package, complete runs from 65 to 99 approximately. And then 105-

Sod it I didn't notice the detail, wuite a few issues though.

Some later ones too.

In a shop in Notting Hill Gate.

Anyone want me to try and pick em up ?

1. The ending. What the **** was that? Apparently, if you sacrifice yourself, God gives you a get into heaven for free card. Riiigght. Wasn't Gabirel just explaining how good deeds don't cancel out bad-ones?

 

[i believe it's supposed to be inline with the 'imitation of Christ' Christian tradition of supreme self sacrifice. John was not just doing a good deed--he was consigning himself to Hell for someone else! That's beyond good deeds! Also, Gabriel is a misguided lost individual, not to be trusted.]

Constanteen was already on his way to Hell.

I am afraid that making himself even more Hellworthy is a bit like the old death sentences where they used to exhume the body and hang them again.

That was disappointing - overlong and terribly boring in parts.

 

Started off strong but faded out less than a half-hour in.

 

5/10.

You'll go to Hell for watching dodgy internet downloads !

Unless you've read our old friend Matadoom's latest tract over at the forum you don't want to hear about: The way to redeem yourself over watching a dodgy bootleg movie is to watch another dodgy bootleg movie in order to attract the MPAA and when they turn up, tell them that the BBFC are in the next room making dodgy copies to go out on the internet. When the MPAA return asking how you would like to be rewarded, say "I'd like my eyes gouged out and the part of my brain where memory of the film is stored to be burned away. So I can watch it again at the cinema."

They will forgive you.

Given that whole business with the coathangers and that ...

I hate it when people trample over my beautifully nuanced and

DEL-fucking-IBERATELY obscure quips.

You're so fucking special.

The fund will be open to contributions until Tom sees the film.

Hopefully in London at a preview, if they ever show any !

Otherwise in Birmingham after the film's release - note Easter Holidays.

There will be a special souvenir for people who have contributed to this event, so watch for more news !

Well John's already found redemption and given up the cancersticks at the end of 1, by the time the final credits roll on 2 he'll probably be a member of the clergy.

Start of film.

Angela and John in a police cell.

"Sorry John, there's only so much I can do here. There are too many witnesses who saw you go off with Mr Fermin's wife."

"Ah well, looks like I am in for a Hard Time ! Any chance of a fag ?"

"What happened to your Good Intentions, I thought you gave up ?"

"Nah, I'll quit smoking when Hell freezes over."

Teen-Angel (in high, cartoony voice) "Now, Constanteen, what have I told you about getting into hot water ?"

Angela and John together "FUCK OFF CHAZ!!!"

My 2 cents is jump on in, the water's fine. Just watch for leeches and other buggers.

 

I picked up 200, 201, 202, and 204, and I'm having no problem reading the story. <...>

That's the story, and you can get it without knowing tons of Constantine history just like you can read this post without knowing that "leeches and other buggers" is a reference to an old Swamp Thing by Alan Moore.

 

Fair points, actually - on reflection, I think apologies are due from me. I was being unduly negative - like JMac said, if you can get the issues from #200, you should be able to follow what's going on without too much trouble. Be willing to give it a bit of time, though, and don't be afraid to ask questions.

I don't think it was undue caution, but as Mr? Magic Java says the story is there.

Let's not forget, we have a tendency to over-value the detail around here - thus knowing the backstory for all of those minor characters. For anyone who wants to read the story without knowing anything about the characters, it is quite simple!

In fact, compare it with The Dreadful Film.

We're told about Angela, and spoonfed about Constanteen's secret origin, but what do we get told about Chaz, Midnite, Beeman and Hennessy other than what they do on screen? (or on paper, if you are me)

On the other hand, Cahill, you could get the recent issues - either from 200 onwards as recommended or - starting with John's amnesia in 194 and showing the events leading to #200.

Note to everyone else: as much as we want the trade-paperback version to thrive, it would be a shame if the monthly issue does not also pick up readers as a result of that film (what's it called ? "Angel Heart" or something ?) and this website and forum has plenty of info about the backstory. So let's not be afraid to recommend the current story. It's not different to any other monthly comic when it comes to "stuff happens to people from previous issues".

Nah, Chazzy replaces Gabriel ... and that, children, is how an angel gets made.

So be good, for goodness sake.

yus

break a leg !

(If they fail the interview to win you.)

Aw, you were okay, but you really should not have sung "The Green Green Grass of Home" when the gramophone packed up.

I woke up to the dulcet tones of Young Wales (Phil on 6Music)

and I may try and go to sleep that way too.

Play Misty for me.

(or Micah P Hinson's "Beneath the Rose")

Not unless you ask nicely.

I will post the magazine to you though.

'v course.

And all the other new stuff.