Chris

Dug this page out of the back issue bins.

I'd say that I identify with Tim Bisley from Spaced.

That is all.

What? No love for Tekken? Or have I just skipped passed those pages?

Here's my review for an upcoming issue of the Otago University Magazine.

Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection

Before we start, I should warn you that I bought my PSP because I knew this game was going to come out. The thing is, I think I would have written more or less the exact same review if I had only a passing familiarity with the Tekken series. Respect and Props to Tim Barribeau for securing me a copy earlier than I originally would have had it.

Tekken 5: DR is the latest game in the popular fighting series Tekken. A while after Tekken 5 hit the arcades it was updated with three new characters and new fighting-moves. Essentially what you have on PSP is the arcade version of DR, but with a hell of a lot extra.

The game retains every character from Tekken 5, who all keep their PS2 story mode. The three extra characters, Lili, Dragunov, and Armour King each get the PS2 style story-mode treatment, complete with prologue and epilogue pages, and a full motion video ending movie.

But the good times don’t stop there. Dark Resurrection keeps the arcade mode and all the important standard stuff from Tekken 5, brings back Tekken Tag’s Bowling mode, and adds a hot new play-mode – Tekken Dojo. In Tekken Dojo mode you work your way through a series of fighting schools on an island, getting to the top rank of each by completing league-fights and tournaments. Each Dojo has a few extra challenge modes to keep things interesting. This mode allows you to gain ranks the same way you would by playing arcade mode in Tekken 5, this time with additional grades to prolong the experience, You can still customise your characters, and you get even more choices to give your favourite character their own unique look.

The game also boasts a two-player mode, so you and a friend can play your customised characters against each other. What’s that? Your friend doesn’t have the game? That’s ok, Tekken 5: DR has a game sharing function, so you can still play with only one Tekken UMD.

Another remarkable feature of Dark Resurrection is the Ghost Data option. This allows you to download the fighting styles of other players from the Internet, or directly off other PSPs. You can even upload your own Ghost Data, so if you left Tekken-playing friends behind when you left for Uni, you can email your styles to each other. You can also connect to the Internet to upload your achievements to a worldwide scoreboard, but good luck beating all of the hard-out scores from overseas.

The only real downer of the game is that veteran PS2 players may have to change their way of playing because you can’t really hold the PSP the same way as a Playstation controller. The thing is, I didn’t really find this too inhibiting, and only using both thumbs isn’t really that difficult. With a bit of practice, I’m sure you can get as good as you were on PS2 within a few weeks. Anyway, we can’t blame Namco for that drawback; fault Sony for not shaping the PSP more like a Playstation controller. I’m just kidding Sony - you know I love you.

Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection preserves the complete experience of Tekken 5 for PS2, with an incredible amount of extra features. The game looks, feels, and sounds incredible - pretty much like a direct translation from the PS2. This game is an absolute must for anyone who considers themselves a hardcore Tekken fan. Save up. Buy a PSP. Get Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection.

In short, I think that this game was the true reason we evolved opposable thumbs, but we were all so excited about it we did it a few million years early.

11/10

So it's still going then? Even though it has been debunked?

But, I guess it doesn't really matter, depending on whatever the original motivation was.

I'm astounded about how much news coverage the whole thing's gotten. It was even on the News on channel 3 down here in New Zealand.

Are they making money off it somehow?

I know its been out in the states for a while. But today I got a press pack of Tekken: Dark Resurrection on PSP and I am in videogame nirvana.

I don't really write, but I'll give it a go.

My friend Jay is a chef, and I remember him telling me once, "It’s all in the knife. A sharp knife is actually safer to use than a blunt one. Blunt knives require more force to cut, increasing the likelihood of the blade slipping and whipping your finger off at the knuckle."

I picked up the sharpening steel and rubbed it along the edge of the knife. After I was finished, I turned back to the bench. I felt a small bulge beneath my foot and heard my cat screech, causing me to jump, sending the knife flying into the air. I yelled, more in shock than in pain as it fell, slashing deep into the back of my hand.

I stared at the white bone for a second before the wound filled up with a reservoir of dark red blood. The last thing I remembered was feeling my my cat's wet, sand-papery tongue dabbing my hand as everything went black.

Edit: Sorry, I was still doing the uncomfortable one.

While I won't mourn his death, it was kind of satisfying to see him go out in a predictable way. I mean, I'd feel totally ripped off if the guy died of old age.

Also, on the News in New Zealand, they interviewed another guy who got stung by a stingray, even had footage of him pulling the barb out of his foot. It was in there good, the guy was screaming in pain and everything. Ouch.

I went and saw Snakes on A Plane last night. It was exactly what I hoped it would be.

The whole cinema cheered when Samuel L. Jackson said "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Then we left, and there were all these people leaving from a production of Carmen at the same time. The juxtaposition was very amusing indeed.

Josh is secretly a moderator on the Byrne forum.

Hahah!

According to the Seminole Indian Reservation Police, Chris was arrested at 3:25AM after creating a disturbance at the tribe's Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa, Florida. Upset over being charged a $20 cover charge to enter the hotel bar, he "was at the lobby causing a scene," according to the arresting officer's police report.

 

"He was loud and he just wouldn't calm down," Seminole police spokesman Gary Bitner told The Associated Press.

Rogan got my name wrong!

Rogan disappears for months on end, and then expects us to act like it's the second coming when he returns.

(And we do.)

I'm a little teapot !

I dance like a puppet anyway.

Chicken Wings!

My strengths are in my dexterous video-gaming fingers fingering of video-gamers.

You can't dance when you're paralytic.

It's not a great photo, but this is me at the extreme south of New Zealand.

Josh boils and eats kittens.

I'm going on an archaeological jaunt this weekend. If there are any photos, I'll put 'em up.

I've been playing the latest wacky Japanese game, LocoRoco!

LocoRoco are these little balloon-like creatures that grow after eating flowers and can split into smaller, identical Rocos the more you eat. You bounce them around a level and get them to the end. That's about it.

The thing that is most frightening about LocoRoco is that, as you bounce around the level, your LocoRoco SINGS ALONG WITH THE MUSIC. You spilt them up, and they'll sing different parts of it with each other.

It's kind of cool just splitting up the Rocos and watching them bounce around playing and talking with each other. When you recombine them they make this noise of extreme reluctance and I get a sick sense of satisfaction to know that I'm robbing the little buggers of their individuality.

Wow, that was like a review. Seriously its awesome. Check it out.

Less banter! More Photos!

Thank god you said it, Mark.

Oh and I managed to mod my PS2 to play imported games all by myself! Im so proud! Shame I went to all the effort just to play one game but meh....

That's not sad. I pretend I'm playing Tekken on my PSP while its switched off, so I can get used to the holding it different when Tekken 5: DR comes out here on PSP in September.

Now that's sad.

Jay has a collection of little shoes.