A. Heathen

I don't normally do that sort of thing, but:

 

"Adam is named after Adam and the Ants Adam. He's the mad one. Not scared of ridicule."

 

"Saul is named after my favourite football player, Sol Campbell, aka 'Solly' so named because he is a bit of an Arse."

 

"Maria is called after the popular drink 'Tia Maria', it's an obscure reference to the song 'Pina Colada Song' by Rupert Holmes which was OUR SONG when I was wooing my wife. I could not call her 'Pina' or 'Colada' because DC thought Holmes would sue."

Last week, Constanteen was second behind Hitch in the London box office.

This week, it is third behind Hitch and Miss Congeniality 2.

 

(snigger)

Top notch Ade. One tiny flaw:

 

Tesco's are alright but they keep running out of soda water!

No they're fucking not. They're union-busting assholes who are dead cheap because they among other things treat emplyees like shit. 8-)

 

Yes. Same old supermarkets.

Right, that's #203 finished.

 

I think.

 

Any questions?

I will be in Glasgow on my next birthday.

 

(Okay, not really ON the day, but two days later.)

 

But 42 by the time I get to Glasgow.

Mike Allwood says they probably have been sold out.

Try the Holiday Inn across the road (no special rate), and whatever happens ...

 

DO NOT LET JAMES BOOK IT.

Interesting to note that the strange place that James discovered in the wilds of East London (which I said would be ace for a comics event in London) is holding a SO-CALLED "Movie Comic Media Expo" ...

 

ON THE SAME DAYS AS THE COMIC EXPO in Bristol.

 

On closer examination that other event has as much to do with comics as Jim Davidson.

 

http://www.londonexpo.com/

If it's right on the corner opposite the hotel then it might be the Golden Goose.

 

On Marchmont Street ?

 

http://streetmap.co.uk/newmap.srf?x=530151...mapp=newmap.srf

But this happened in the actual timeline, hence my confusion. Nevermind. More annotations, please!

 

Hence my joke.

Perhaps in one of John's alternate lives she survived ?

Yes, that'll be it !

 

I know you're probably joking, but I don't understand what this means.

 

It means "Perhaps in one of John's alternate lives she survived?"

 

Yes, it was me joking around, but let me indulge you:

 

John had three "fantasy lives" at the hands of Rosacarnis.

Gemma died in one of them.

So with a bit of silliness from me, Mrs Straff survived in one.

It's not what happened, it's me playing around with the tendency we have to explain away such inconsistencies.

 

I really should not be annotating the annotations in this way !

Part One - A bit of grin and bear it

http://hellblazer.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=562

 

Part Two - A bit of come and share it

 

Page 1

Explodo!

The truck we all saw driving down the wrong side of the road last issue, explodes on Chas's Taxi stop.

 

Page 2

John's mystery accomplice has magical powers beyond being a talking rat.

Here, he creates a tunnel through the flames for John to reach Chas.

 

Theseus came to Crete to slay the Minotaur who had become a method of the Cretan dominance over Athens, as they were ordered to send seven young men to be placed in the Labyrinth, where a half-man half-bull (or a common or garden bull, in more realistic myths) murdered all who he found.

Ariadne was the Minoan princess, who loved Theseus, and when her father condemned him to death by the Minotaur, she helped save him from the maze by holding a thread which he could follow back to her.

They did not live happily ever after.

This is not where we get the word "thesaurus".

 

The use of the word "earnest" as a noun here was new to me, but

"Money paid in advance as part payment to bind a contract or bargain." or

"A token of something to come; a promise or an assurance."

 

Page 3

"If this turns out to be your fault ..."

Good old Chas, has the presence of mind to have a go at John, even when he's on death's front porch.

 

Page 4

Panel 3: Saul, Maria, Adam. The Triplets of DOOM !

But you know, they are still Constantine's children.

 

Page 5

"Totally up the pole" = bonkers, mad, dangerous.

It's an old sea-faring phrase, meaning that the top of a mast is the most perilous - moving severely in the waves.

 

"In Cliftonville ..." (see issue #196)

 

Page 6

There's a rat inside Chas, what am he gonna do?

 

Page 7

Straff (Robert William Strathern) and his Mum (Mrs Strathern) from Paul Jenkins run. However, she died in issue 118 a story called "Life, Death and Taxis" in which her death was juxtaposed with a birth. Her funeral is shown.

She doesn't seem like a ghost, but in the Hellblazer world, it would be possible for Straff to hold on to a very physical ghost ... was this ever referred to in Jenkins run ? Probably not - that's the trouble with continuity ;-)

 

Perhaps in one of John's alternate lives she survived ?

Yes, that'll be it !

 

Anyway, Straff was a fairly important character in Jenkins stories, grounded as they were in a very mundane supporting cast who all lived in South London.

 

Note that they were neighbours "seven years ago" - ie around eighty issues ago.

Hellblazer time is still on course.

 

Page 8

Straff's mum sings the song from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" where all the anthropomorhic knives and forks and the dinner service welcome Beauty into the house. And people think Hellblazer has too much silly magic !

 

Tesco is a supermarket chain, second only to Sainsbury's.

But owned by the family of the Thatcherite former leader of Westminster Council, Shirley Porter, who ran off to Israel - having found religion - after being found guilty of trying to fix the local elections. (It's my local council, so bear with me ranting.) Tesco's are alright but they keep running out of soda water!

 

Page 9

The Cutter Pub was first seen in #191.

It is now held to be John's Local for the purposes of other stories to be told (by John Shirley, writing Hellblazer novelisations). It is most likely to be out near Wapping (beyond which there be daemons and the hotel that James Wilkinson "found").

 

Now that our mystery assistant has entered Chas, John can understand him. Unlike the "rat-speak" of last issue "||| |||| ||||| || !"

 

"An old friend" - someone who has known John since before he came to London.

 

"Twenty questions" a game in which people have to guess an "animal, mineral or vegetable" by asking questions that can only be answered yes or no. John's just saying he does not want to be lead around the houses, which is probably exactly what *he* would do if roles were reversed !

 

"... sired on the Demon Rosacarnis." see issue 200.

 

It's important to the three children to keep John alive - presumably because the magic depends on his imagination, but also because they want to see him suffer.

 

Page 10

"Forty years inside of a dream"

I had my theories that this was one day with a load of false memories, but Mike Carey says John really did live 40 years in that day. Certainly more of a psychological impact that way.

 

I realise that I recently observed of issue 206 that I'd have preferred a mood artist like David Lloyd, and yet here (before his art goes wayward in the chase scene a few pages on) Manco's art really fits the bill.

 

"It seems to be my lot to find you at your lowest ebb. To dredge you up when you're incapable of helping yourself." Hold that thought, and if you've already read the latest issues then marvel at how it is telling us who John's "new" friend is.

 

Look at them beer glasses !!!

(Note to Mr Vankin, where do you want me to send that photoreference CDR ?)

 

Page 11

This ain't the same Cutter we saw previously, is it ?

Maybe, last time we were in the lounge and this is the snug.

 

Page 12

The ghost is Francis Dashwood of the Hellfire club.

http://www.victorianweb.org/history/pms/hellfire.html

Eddie Campbell had him messing around with Constantine

 

"Elohim, elohe imperamus. Venite vos omnes tales, excelsus zebaoth"

"per nomen hagios, et sedem pripneumaton."

"veni veni mundo instante compellente, mihi veni."

 

This is part of an "exorcism of the spirits of the air" from The Heptameron

or Magical Elements of Peter de Abano, philosopher.

 

Elohim, Elohe (qv Eloah, Allah) and Hagios are names for God.

Meaning "The most feared one" (it is plural, adding to God's power, as in The Royal We), "The first" and "The Holy".

Zebaoth also refers to God, but in the sense of him leading his army or host and seems to appear in German literature more often than in English.

Pripneumaton (or Primeumaton, sp. see me !) might be a deliberate spelling error, as "pneumaton" means spirit. It's another one of them Crowleyan terms for God.

 

Here's the full text and translation.

http://www.esotericarchives.com/solomon/heptamer.htm#part13

 

Interesting to note that the pentagram should most likely have been a hexagram, but I imagine DC don't want the kids misusing REAL MAGICK (sic) or perhaps Mike Carey could not think of a sixth substance on the next page

 

Erebus is part of the Hell of Greek myth (and an ancient God of that ilk).

 

 

Page 13

A nicely made up spell using some basic ingredients of Witchcraft to divide Dashwood's ghostly body into five.

 

Page 14

Meanwhile ...

Back at the pub, John and Chas-plus-one get in a fight.

John's been manipulated to get him fired up.

He's been moping a bit too much for his would-be helper's liking.

His "voiceover" suggests he's got powers to unfluence the crowd.

 

Panel 3: This is a fairly straight copy of the outside of The Cutter from its previous appearance (and Manco's tidied it up, replacing what looked like a castle last time with a more realistic church). Someone paying close attention to these matters (ie not me) pointed out that the window is boarded up from the action last time.

 

"But as Blake remarked, you must kiss your joys goodbye as they fade,

not destroy them by holding on too long."

 

Not Anita Blake or Norman Blake, but William Blake.

 

Eternity.

'He who binds to himself a joy

Does the winged life destroy.

He who kisses the joy as it flies

Lives in eternity's sunrise.'

 

Go here, about half way down is the elusive pome.

 

It may be paraphrased as "if you love someone, set them free" but that way lies STING !!!! (I don't care if he does look a bit like John Constantine.)

 

 

 

Page 15

I don't like this page.

The first panel is cack.

(Although the policemens' helmets are correct - unusual for a US comic !)

 

But if The Cutter is by the river, there are very few places that a fifty year old man could out-run a bunch of coppers onto the nearest train tracks.

London Bridge fits the bill for train lines, and for that rubbish footbridge, but not for the riverside road.

Wapping (which has always been my choice) is a stretch for the distance from river to railway.

 

Page 16

No. I am not going to be a trainspotter.

It's a shunter.

 

Page 17

And shouldn't Chas be taller than John ?

It's funny how I keep seeing echoes of That Awful Film in recent issues of HB :-)

When John punches Chas, he is actually aiming his punch at the "demon" within !

 

"KLUD" ? Who comes up with these ?

 

Page 18

It's funny how John doesn't like being the butt of a master-plan, but he's quite happy to give it out !

 

"My Aunt Fanny" - John does not have an Aunt Fanny, this is a figure of speech, most closely represented in the words of Ricky Tomlinson as Mr Royle of the Royle Family, "... my arse".

 

I give you, the relevent entry from The Sandman Annotations:

 

Appendix:  Fannies and Other Aunts

 

>From the online copy of the second edition Oxford English Dictionary,

used without permission, arguably "fair use":

 

fanny, sb.[4] slang [Orig. unknown.]

  1 = BACKSIDE 3.  (orig. and chiefly U.S.).

  1928 HECHT & MACARTHUR Front Page II. 115 Parking her fanny in here.

1930 N. COWARD Private Lives I, You'd fallen on your fanny a few moments

before. 1937 T.  RATTIGAN French without Tears II. i. 44 That's it.

Progress. Kit. Progress my fanny. 1946 R. CAMPBELL Talking Bronco 29 Ere

you came back to serenade the sentry, Who thanks you with this bayonet

in your fanny! 1949 E. POUND Pisan Cantos lxxx. 95 And three small boys

on three bicycles Smacked her young fanny in passing. 1953 R. GORDON

Doctor at Sea i. 16 Move over, Second, and let the Doctor park his

fanny. 1959 M. STEEN Woman in Back Seat II. vii. 284 Classy, isn't it

[sc. a cardigan]?-that little roll round the fanny. 1960 N. SHUTE

Trustee from Toolroom iv. 82 I'd never be able to think of John and Jo

again if we just sat tight on our fannies and did nothing.

  2 The female genitals.  (Chiefly British English.)

  1879 Pearl I. 82 You shan't look at my fanny for nothing.  1889

BARReRE & LELAND Dict. Slang I. 354/2 Fanny (common), the fem. pud. 1939

JOYCE Finnegans Wake 204 Two lads in scoutsch breeches went through

her..before she had a hint of a hair at her fanny to hide or a bossom to

tempt a birch canoedler.  1980 E. JONG Fanny I. xv. 120 `Madam Fanny,'

says he, obliging me, but with the same ironick Tone.  `D'ye know what

that means in the Vulgar Tongue?'.. `It means the Fanny-Fair,..the

Divine Monosyllable, the Precious Pudendum, [etc.].'

 

[From the entry for "aunt"]

 

  6 Special collocations: Aunt Edna, used of a typical theatre-goer of

conservative taste; Aunt Emma, used in croquet of a typically unen-

terprising player (or play); Aunt Fanny, in various slang phrases

expressing negation or disbelief.

  1953 T. RATTIGAN Coll. Plays II. p. xii, Let us invent a character, a

nice, respectable, middle-class, middle-aged, maiden lady, with time on

her hands and the money to help her pass it... Let us call her Aunt

Edna... Now Aunt Edna does not appreciate Kafka... She is, in short, a

hopeless lowbrow. 1958 N. F. SIMPSON Resounding Tinkle in Observer Plays

241 The author..leans forward..to make simultaneous overtures of sumptu-

ous impropriety to every Aunt Edna in the house.

  1960 E. P. C. COTTER Tackle Croquet this Way 66 Whatever happens don't

become an Aunt Emma player. 1963 Croquet Aug. 3/1 Aunt Emma is banished

for ever. 1967 Croquet Aug./Sept. 13/2 He played too much `Aunt Emma'.

  1945 M. DICKENS Thurs. Afternoons i. 69 She's got no more idea how to

run this house than my Aunt Fanny. 1946 J. IRVING Royal Navalese 24 Tell

that to my old Aunt Fanny. 1954 G.  CARR Death under Snowdon v. 54

`Agree my Aunt Fanny,' retorted the other loudly.

 

"The children have a sense of dramatic structure" - EAT THAT, wannabe literature graduates !

 

Page 19 & 20

Angie's nightmare from her childhood - The Empty Man - chases her into the present.

 

Page 21

Gemma and her old boyfriend Simon at a gig.

Folks who have not yet read subsequent issues should turn away now.

 

The band's song is a nice omen of things to come.

They look like a dreadful band.

I bet you kids would LOVE them.

 

Mike Carey makes these lyrics up, you know.

 

Page 22

Oooh! Camper Van !

 

"Half an ounce. Fifty quid." That's a bit steep for Liverpool in this day and age of decriminalisation. And hey, if you are going to buy drugs off a stranger then why not poke six inch nails into your eyes first ?

 

"Fucking A" = "very good indeed"

 

"She calls herself Constantine now." A rather smart acknowledgement of any continuity errors that might've occurred, and Gemma's growing attachment to her uncle.

James,

 

the story of the three children seems to suggest that they have shared their knowledge of their father's lives. After all, they don't all go for people from their own story.

 

And at 14, Maria would have had more knowledge of Chas than young Adam.

Yep!

(And doesn't that image I posted look like a certain publicity still from a certain film ?)

 

My work on Vampire was widely sourced by the original Blade production (Goyer confirms), that's why Guillermo wanted me on Blade II. He told me, "This time you'll get credit."

While I was working on Blade 2, Wayne Barlowe (awesome artist, awesome guy) was going through legal action with the Pitch Black production because they "borrowed" from him exsessively (with the creatures). They originally tried to hire him but he asked for too much.

So instead of hiring him they just ripped him off. Unfortunately this behavior is all too common in the film industry.

 

- TB

 

It's great when the films respect the source material. And its creators.

We saw the trailer for Sin City last night and it looks like it will piss all over the comments that Francis Lawrence made about "comic book movies".

And at the same time, it is Noir with a capital N, O, I & R.

No opinions were harmed in the viewing of this movie.

 

Actually, I like a couple of the supporting cast a bit better, and I have renamed capalert.com to titalert.com since that guy was right about Rachel Weisz's moist cleavage.

 

Out of interest, almost no-one laughed at Constanteen's witticisms.

Tom laughed out loud a few times and that made the viewing more entertaining for me.

 

I'll let him tell you about how he would rather have raised £300 by driving the nails they used to crucify christ into his eyes.

No, he would support neither team.

That's quite straightforward.

You pair of jockos should be aware by now that the film's John Constanteen is a Celtic fan, but that the proper John Constantine prefers to support neither team (which probably makes him a Cowdenbeath fan).

 

As a kid he was a Liverpool fan according to posters in his room.

We seem to have gotten confused as to the actual quote from the film.  Here is the quote from the film:

 

God has a plan for all of us.  I had to die... twice... just to figure that out. 

 

OK?  That's the line from the film.  The following is Keanu from an interview, in which he misquotes the above line, and then adds what I consider the completely nonsensical "John Constantine doesn't like it but he likes it" section that I can make neither head nor tales of. 

 

"It's a guy who's got anger and ambivalence. There's a line in it, 'God has a plan for all of us, and some people like it, some people don't.' That's kind of a Constantinian take on it. Some people like it and John Constantine doesn't like it, but he likes it," Reeves said."

 

This is the line that makes me think Keanu really doesn't understand the film or his character.  If someone could make sense out of his quote (not the movie quote) I would appreciate it.

 

From what I've seen in interviews about the script, Keanu brought that aspect of the film's story into play, so I suspect he knows what he means.

 

The line you are having trouble with is a fairly obvious, if conversational, reference to Constanteen's ambivalence.

I took it to be a typo at first - perhaps "he doesn't like it, but he likes subverting it".

But now I think it's more that "he doesn't like the fact that there is a plan but he prefers it to Satan's".

I just watched a great film where the hero dies twice and goes to Heaven and Hell before saving the world from an evil cat called Satan by using an arcane religious artefact. He has a comedy sidekick who bravely takes part in the final battle with the devil. He gets redeemed at the end and returns to his life.

 

http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0115509/

 

Now I am as ready as I'll ever be. I suppose.

 

Tom should be here soon.

How does she smell?

Northampton.

The House That Dripped Blood

 

No, Amytiville was a different beast entirely. It's "realness" was just cooked up as a marketing tool, I tghink, but interestingly I saw a trailer last night for the re-make and they're still claiming it's based on a true story.

 

Who'd have thunk people in advertising would lie, eh? :lol:

 

It *is* based on a true story.

 

Of a family who lived in a house,

and told lies to make themselves sound more interesting.

I preferred Poltergeist anyway.

I remember being terrified by The House That Dripped Blood when I was a kid. Turning on taps and blood pouring out etc.

 

Now it'd be another bloody make over show.

 

Hmmm.

 

Idea for that new comedy/horror series that's on BBC3 ...

 

"THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED LAWRENCE LLEWELLYN BOWEN'S INTESTINES"

Oi, Selwyn Froggitt, shouldn't you be on t'horse 'n' cart dahn t'Smoke ?

Ade, I read your last comments before the picture had downloaded and panicked that it was going to be a picture of David Van Day! (With or without burger van.)

 

God, no!

 

He was my least favourite member of Guys and Dolls.

And my least favourite member of "David Van Day's Bucks Fizz" too.

No woman can resist that hair, Ade.    

 

(And sadly, it must be the hair, cos I don't fancy him in Andromeda - which I don't watch.)

 

In my defence, I've never fancied a Chippendale.

 

Well, Karen likes him in Andromeda too, even though I keep trying to convince her that Farscape is better. But Claudia Black is my Kevin Sorbo.

 

You're right about the hair, as her favourite musicians will demonstrate:

 

 

Whoops !

I meant ...