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Chris

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    When I remake the James Bond movies...

    in Bring the Noise

    Posted

    If I remade Bond, it would start with a relaunch. Before Doctor No.

     

    It would start with Bond with joining, or just leaving MI:6 training and becoming a Double-O. Basically it would build a foundation for the franchise and give the character a starting point.

     

    Bond: Year One, if you will.

     

    Then you could have 18 mindless action-flicks based on this, ending with John's vision of Bond.

    The Soundtrack to Your Life

    in Bring the Noise

    Posted

    Yes! An outlet for procrastination!

     

     

    Waking Up in the Morning: "Six Different Ways" - The Cure.

     

    Work: "Rumble" - Link Wray

     

    Meeting up with Friends: "Shopping For Blood" - Franz Ferdinand

     

    Party Song: "Out of the Races and onto the Track" - The Rapture

     

    Meeting the Girl/Boy of Your Dreams: "The Rain Song" - Led Zeppelin

     

    Date Song: "Caring is Creepy" - The Shins (That's a bit 'Garden State' though)

     

    Fight with a Friend: "Something's Gone Wrong Again" - The Buzzcocks

     

    Falling Completely In Love: "Shadow of a Doubt" - Sonic Youth

     

    Road Trip Song: "The Power is On" - The Go! Team

     

    Fight with Girlfriend: "Sittin' Inside My Head" - Supergroove

     

    Make-Up Song: "Wrapped Around Your Finger" The Police

     

    Dream Song: "Fixed in the Sky" - The Grifters

     

    Break-Up Song: "Forget Her" Jeff Buckley, or "Song Seven" - Interpol

     

    Long, Contemplative Thinking Song: "40 Miles From the Sun" - Bush

     

    Old Age Song: "And all that could have been" - Nine Inch Nails

     

    Death Song: "09-15-00" Godspeed You! Black Emperor

     

     

    Ok, back to work.

    Christian's Back!

    in Bring the Noise

    Posted

    Welcome back Christian, I was beginning to think you'd been written out of continuity.

     

    There shall be no retconning of the forum members.

     

    Although, on second thought, I do like the sound of "Crisis on Infinite Hells..." :cool:

     

    Or maybe we can have our own board "Identity Crisis..." Transformed into Pookfram, I could be a plucky blonde bombshell with a yearnin' for the ladies! Who wouldn't like to see that? :lol:

     

    I've been toying with "Chris On Infinite Earths"

    The Wit and Wisdom

    in Site Feedback & Announcements

    Posted

    I'm not sure if this counts, because it's from the old forum. But I have never laughed so hard here. This was James's response when we were going to send out teams to find Enversi. I wonder how many of you remember that. So, max cred to James for this:

     

    I want to see TJ Hunt and TimmyBauer team up.

     

    I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

    ********************************************************

    BLACK SCREEN. A BASS GUITAR BEGINS AN INSISTENT BEAT. FADE UP ON:

     

    INT. BAPTIST MINISTRY OFFICE, DAY.

    A distinguished looking gentleman with slightly receding hairline sits across from a stern but fatherly Minister. The first gentleman is TIMOTHY BAUER, ESQ.

     

    TIMMY

    So all I have to do is find this guy--

     

    MINISTER (INTERRUPTING)

    --Enversi.

     

    TIMMY (CONT.)

    --Enversi, and I'll finally be made a Minister.

     

    MINISTER

    That's correct.

     

    TIMMY considers it, then:

     

    TIMMY

    Sure. What could go wrong?

     

    HEART-RACING ROCK MUSIC KICKS IN RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT. CUT TO: EXCITING MONTAGE OF EXPLOSIONS, GUNFIRE, FISTFIGHTS, HELICOPTERS AND CARCHASES. MUSIC CONTINUES AS WE CUT TO:

     

    EXT. BAPTIST CHURCH - DAY

    TIMMY steps out and lights a tobacco PIPE.

     

    VOICE OVER GUY

    HE'S a tough trainee Baptist Minister.

     

    CUT TO: QUICK MONTAGE OF BAUER SCENES - TIMMY reading the BIBLE to sneering heathens before ROLLING his EYES and THRASHING THEM ABOUT THE HEAD with it; TIMMY executing a spectacular flip from a CHURCH PULPIT to land just in front of an INSANE MUSLIM FUNDAMENTALIST TERRORIST, whom he knocks unconscious with a single blow; TIMMY talking down a POTENTIAL SUICIDE (TIMMY (through megaphone): GOD LOVES YOU! PLEASE COME DOWN BEFORE I COME UP THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!); TIMMY grabbing a startled CHILD from the path of a SPEEDING CAR.

     

    CUT TO:

    EXT. MAGIC SHOP - DAY

    A slightly baffled looking chap wobbles out. He looks like the bastard child of Jack Sparrow and Alan Moore if you then covered him in glue and rolled him around a cheap jeweller's. He may have to be blacked up, depending on whether he is pigmentally enhanced or not. He is TJ HUNT.

     

    VOICE OVER GUY

    HE'S an incomprehensible chaos shaman.

     

    CUT TO: QUICK MONTAGE OF TJ SCENES - TJ spin-kicking two NEW YORK VAMPIRES only to come to a sudden stop and SKEWER the one sneaking up behind him with a STAKE; TJ astrally projecting himself into a WOMEN'S SHOWER ROOM; TJ in front of a SCHOOL BLACKBOARD pointing to an extremely COMPLICATED DIAGRAM showing the relationship of the MAYAN CALENDAR to the exact number of episodes of BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES, and why this proves that ALEISTER CROWLEY would have liked JAMMIE DODGERS (quick reverse shot of baffled looking kids); TJ sitting in a PENTAGRAM with his EYES CLOSED as a SECRET NINJA sneaks up behind him - TJ to CASUALLY TOSSES a SACRIFICIAL DAGGER over his should WITHOUT opening his eyes, hitting the ninja in his left thigh, causing him to comically topple over.

     

    AS THE FOLLOWING MONTAGE CONTINUES:

    VOICE OVER GUY

    They were worlds apart (pause for montage)

     

    CUT TO: SPLIT-SCREEN MONTAGE OF TJ AND TIMMY GOING ABOUT THEIR DAILY BUSINESS, HIGHLIGHTING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THEM - TIMMY reads THE BIBLE whilst TJ reads THE NECRONOMICON; TIMMY giving SOUP to HOMELESS PEOPLE whilst TJ gives a TRAMP a magical jewel; TIMMY praying before going to BED whlst TJ charges a sigil in GRANT MORRISON STYLEE; TIMMY watches on FOX NEWS whilsta STONED TJ (there is a BONG next to him) watches static and tries to make out shapes.

     

    VOICE OVER GUY (OVER THE END OF THE MONTAGE)

    Until fate brought them together. Now they'll have to pull together to save the world - unless they pull each other apart first!

     

    CUT TO:

    MONTAGE OF BUDDY SCENES - TJ interrupts a WEDDING that TIMMY is performing to deliver an IMPORTANT MESSAGE, only for the HUSBAND to take a swing at him - TJ deflects the blow easily, but comically takes a punch from the bride; TIMMY'S frustrated because a stoned TJ'S ordering two Happy Meals at McDonald's; TIMMY and TJ bonding as they drive by some nuns and throw eggs at them; TIMMY and TJ reading HELLBLAZER together; Timmy and TJ talk in the car:

     

    TIMMY

    So all we have to do is find Enversi and keep him safe until the end of the week; by then it'll be too late for them to start the ritual.

     

    TJ

    It has been proposed that elemental magic is only a fragmented vision of a larger magical continuum, rather than the basis of all magic as some believe. The elements - fire, earth, spirit, air and water - are just parts of the magical spectrum, that just as colours are white light refracted through a prism, so elemental magic is pure magic refracted through our own minds.

     

    TIMMY

    Are you even listening to me?

     

    TJ

    Pardon?

     

    SUDDEN CHANGE OF MUSIC WHICH WILL ANNOY EVERYONE IN THE CINEMA BUT SEEMS TO HAPPEN A LOT THESE DAYS. CUT TO:

    INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT

    A SINISTER MAN sits in a FANCY CHAIR; we cannot see his face. He looks down upon an ARMY of 47 MEN, all wearing CLOAKS that hide their faces.

     

    SINISTER MAN:

    Stop those men ANY COST. GO!

     

    The ROBED MEN all look up to reveal that they all have TIMMY'S FACE!

     

    CUT TO: EXCITING MONTAGE: A MECHA-TIMMY jumps onto the car bonnet and THRUSTS its HAND through the windscreen to grab TJ's THROAT; TJ ducks a MECHA-TIMMY'S punch and claws him across the face, ripping off fake skin and revealing a robot skeleton underneath; an overhead shot as FIFTEEN TIMMYS surround our heroes as they stand back to back and raise their fists; a NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD pastiche as TJ, weilding a ceremonial AFRICAN SPEAR, backs up against the door of his flat, only for the hands of FOUR TIMMYS to thrust through the door and grab him; TIMMY swinging down off a BEAM in an old BUILDING to KICK A MECHA-TIMMY in the jaw; TJ DIVES forward and GRABS a BONE GUN from the FLOOR, firing a BLUE FIREBALL that incinerates a MECHA-TIMMY; a HEAVILY UNDER THE INFLUENCE TJ points his gun at REAL TIMMY and a MECHA-TIMMY, who struggle with each other. REAL TIMMY SHOUTS: "Shoot both of us!" TJ (WOBBLING SLIGHTLY): "What about the other six?"

     

    CUT TO TITLE:

    48 BAUERS

    CUT TO CREDITS

    You only get one.

    in Bring the Noise

    Posted

    Favorite Song: Last Goodbye, by Jeff Buckley

     

    Favorie Meal: Chicken Fettucine.

     

    Favorite Movie: Desperado. Hands down, no contest.

     

    Favorite book: The Count of Monte Cristo. (Best Revenge. Story. Ever.)

    The Marvel Thread

    in Comics

    Posted

    Really? I wouldn't have expected Jeph Loeb to be on the title. The only stuff I've read of his lately has been Superman/Batman, and its been pretty poor. I'll approach this with caution.

    What's going on with you?

    in Bring the Noise

    Posted

    Thanks Avaunt. I'm not sure if or when this will get published but my supervisor seems keen. At the moment I'm writing my Honours dissertation on Restoration of Monumental Archaeological sites in Eastern Polynesia. My interests and my supervisor's research interests are quite similar, so the article is more than likely to be an extension of my dissertation. Something on Archaeological Heritage Management in the Pacific. It probably won't be started until next year at the least, so don't expect anything soon. And no, I've never published anything before. It'd just be cool to have your name on something, you know?

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