A. Heathen

Okay, Raindance finishes today, and it's been a damn good festival again.

I've already told you about one of the highlights and last night we had similar fun with Evil Aliens (Peter Jackson watch out, because this was up there with Brain Dead & Bad Taste). Jake West is a british director with a similar aesthetic to the late eighties gore delights like Brain Dead and Basket Case. Although I didn't like Razor Blade Smile much. But Evil Aliens (coming your way, America!) was a definite improvement as Emily Booth and her WEIRD WORLD TV crew plus nerd from UFO sighting organisation set off to Wales to investigate a local woman's tale of anal probes and alien impregnation.

One of her three brothers is up there with the "I Kick Arse For The Lord" guy when it comes to fighting fiends. The opening scene has footage of the alien abduction complete with an anal probing that would remove the rather romantic image that such action was given by the X Files.

Of course, they die horribly in a low budget special effect feast.

The Devil and Daniel Johnston is an excellent documentary about the low-fi songwriter whose life has been dogged by manic depression, but has recently seen a brilliant CD of covers of his songs. The film works as an introduction to his music, but more importantly shows the effects of mental illness on a family.

High School Record is a school project by some folks who have seen Clerks. It was okay, but rather too actorly in places. Better when improvising if you ask me. You know the sort of method - "I am too young to play this teacher, but I will compensate by pronouncing everything very profoundly". There's a fun scene where two lads are trying to describe the inner workings of the female genitalia on a blackboard.

Night Watch - I'd seen it before as you know. The bloke from The Guardian who reviewed it said their was no plot. It has as smiple a linear plot as you are likely to meet outside of an episode of Charmed. Lovely to look at, and a compelling story.

Guy X Jason Biggs grows up into Elliot Gould. M.A.S.H. meets Northern Exposure. Animatronic Puffin. Highly recommended.

Peep TV Show overlong and with two story threads poorly intertwined, despite being a good idea. Japanese kid starts website where webcams show real life in all its mundanity, which inevitably turns to exhibitionists and voyeurs. It is intended to be a parable about watching worldwide events like those of 11th September 2001, and his website gives a diary of a terrorist, but the pacing of those events is what makes the film cumbersome.

36 Quai Orfevres Gerard Depardieu and Daniel Auteil are cops with long histories in the force, coming to a point where either of them could be promoted to commissioner. But Auteil's Vrinks has always performed outside of ethical concerns and his team are almost a criminal gang in their own right - in the way that Robin Hood was. Depardieu's almost ponderous Klein refuses to cross that line, but is not favoured for the job even though most of the senior police know that Vrinks is dodgy. When a violent gang wage a campaign of robberies, the senior policemen are desperate for arrests - by whatever means. Both men set out to catch the gang. This film is like a late sixties british gangster film, I was reminded of Get Carter.

Punk Attitude Don Letts' excellent documentary film about punk, from its roots in New York to London to the kiddy punk that abounds these days. Now available on DVD and well worth a look if you know anything about the scene - especially if you only know a bit. Highlights are Henry Rollins (the whole interview is extras on the DVD !) "Those (modern punk) songs have the rap, the quiet contemplative bit and then the guitar kicks in ... if I was 17 I'd LOVE that stuff".

Dead Girl has been kept under wraps for nine years because of legal problems. I suspect one or two actors wanted their careers to continue.

Ari Rose (played by Adam Coleman Howard, writer and director) is a neurotic actor with a fixation on Anne Perillaud's Helen. Her friend Frieda played by loopy Amanda Plummer has a crush on Ari. When Helen taunts Ari (after some rather pretentious scenes) he kills her and she becomes his corpse bride ...

When our hero fails his auditions, he takes Helen along in a wheelchair and her silence is mistaken as "cool" like Garbo.

Ari confides in his psychiatrist Doctor Dark - played by Val Kilmer in playful mood.

But it's bizarre fun along the lines of Woody Allen meets David Lynch.

Satirical stuff about Hollywood, rightfully pretentious and pointless.

Antibodies excellent german detective v serial killer along the lines of Manhunter or Silence of the Lambs. Highly recommended.

Billy Childish is Dead cult punk painter and writer from Kent (Thee Headcoats, The Buff Medways) with a very particular take on life and his art. He used to go out with that Tracey Emin, you know. She was his Courtney Love/ Nancy Spungen. But he's not dead. And he did a very engaging Q&A after the film. This sort of film interests me a lot - as you can imagine I like anti-heroes, profound thinkers. Childish has an interesting life and it has given him a compelling outlook on life, where some people become nihilistic and self-harming, he has taken it out on the world in a very entertaining way.

Best quote "When you can't sing they throw you out of the choir, but they don't throw you out of maths lessons if you can't do sums".

Dumplings Aunt Mei's special recipe is well known. Her services to the women of her town give some folks the impression she is some sort of magician, but the recipe has more mundane and VERY gruesome origins. This is a great horror film - completely plausible and interesting to note that the very realistic depiction of an abortion made some of the audience more uncomfortable than the very obvious implication of what was going on with her recipe.

It's quite sexy, which given the subject matter makes it even more realistic horror.

Ghost in the Shell 2 Beautiful. Great soundtrack. Script is littered with thoughtful quotations relevant to the story. Gorgeous set piece scenes and artwork. This sequel made more of an impression on me than the first.

When the gynoid robots start to malfunction and kill people, cyborg Batou and his human colleagues investigate the manufacturers and their links to political gangs. Cyberpunk anime at its greatest.

Mullets and Bars interesting idea, but a frustratingly limited look at the relationship between US and UK and France. The talking heads are very samey - except for a handful of the americans - I'd have been more satisfied if the film was a trilogy of shorts -something like How the Americans see us, How we see the Americans, How we both see The French. Sorry, but Toby Young and Peter York are self-important boors/bores. The section on the different drinking cultures showed how the rest of the film should have been edited.

and last but certainly least Battle in Heaven a dull, undefined Mexican film about a driver who kidnaps his neighbours child to raise ransome money and the child dies. This is not shown but introduced in one of the earlier scenes.

He then has an absolutely loveless relationship with his wife, but we are told that they deeply love each other. He has a fetish for his boss's daughter, but we only know this because someone says so. The actors* convey neither the passion nor the lack of passion, merely enacting the most unsexy sex scenes outside of the porn industry. (*They are not all actors.) The only thing about this film that I thought any good was ... no wait, it was technically well-filmed ... it set us in a totally blank, drained mood immediately before Evil Aliens, which the latter film then erased.

I wish we had to get a result against Poland because it might make the useless Swedish arsehole make an effort.

It was only the sympathy vote as a result of two totally unfounded yellow cards = sending off for Beckham that saves Eriksson's shame.

Crouch won five headers out of approximately fifteen he went for.

Meanwhile Bent and Defoe on the bench.

Here's one that is probably more up Hagren's street than Nightwatch (presumably Fox did the english subtitles and the austrian/german? version has no special ones).

http://www.loser-special.film.de/

Der Nacht der Lebender Losers

variously translated as "Night of the Living Dorks" and the rather poor "Revenge of the Teenage Zombies".

It's a send up of Buffy meets Shaun of Die Toten meets Clerks with a dash of Reanimator.

Summary: zombie magic leads to German teens being reanimated after a dope-related VW crash.

Philip (TINO MEWES - I wonder if that's his real name?), Wurst aka Weener in the subtitles of course (MANUEL CORTEZ) and Konrad (THOMAS SCHMIEDER) are the school dorks. Fairly likable chaps, although Konrad does take his nerdery seriously and looks like Marilyn Manson, and they get teased by Wolf and his gang. Philip does not see that his lifelong friend and neighbour, Rebecca (COLLIEN FERNANDES) fancies him, because she is a goth and he has a crush on the school babe. The goth trio are of course the "experts" when it comes to zombies ("A bullet in the head." "What? A silver bullet?" "You idiot, that's werewolves.") although their magic spell ingredients leave a lot to be desired (needing a chicken they get an oven ready one, needing blood - "Isn't it your time of the month?")

But when the previously bullied "dorks" awake in a morgue to find that they feel better than ever, they set out on a path of revenge (Konrad has a book of all the people who've bullied him), Weener pulls the birds and the hot teacher ("you kids with your loud music! In my day it was dope and orgies.") and Philip continues to ignore the rather nice looking Rebecca

http://www.loser-special.film.de/html/galerie/pict_8.jpg

for the Paris Hilton looks of Uschi.

http://www.loser-special.film.de/html/galerie/pict_9.jpg

Gradually they realise that Konrad is deteriorating (eating the gym teacher, drinking hospital blood supplies) and they should probably seek a cure. But that means Philip has to apologise to Rebecca.

The jokes are on a par with Kevin Smith's early days. The two nurses in the hospital appear to be a homage to his films. As I said, Konrad looks like the bullied schoolboy who became Marilyn Manson. If your body is decomposing, and you have a staple gun, there's no need to worry is there? Even when the babe of your dreams notices a rather intimate problem. (see trailer on website).

The middle section is like the eighties classic "Party Party" updated with (german) contemporary punk pop (a rather nice version of "Thriller" that I wouldn't mind getting a copy of) and zombies.

To say this film is "so bad it is good" is to miss the very shocking news that Germans have a sense of humour. When I say it's fun, I mean FUN, F.U.N.

Which would make it an American's idea of how a British person would talk, and therefore perfectly appropriate within the context of the story.

 

Do I get a no-prize?

No, because you just copied what I pointed out.

http://www.ditko.comics.org/ditko/crea/crquest.html

http://www.vicsage.com/gallery.html

The important links are gone but you'll get an idea.

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=questi...SO-8859-1&hl=en

I didn't post this when I had the chance, but it definatly deserves some attention for me.

 

I finally gave in to wanting every Hellblazer issue and bought Tainted Love a few months back for the soul purpose of having the Hellblazer Special written by Garth Ennis. I thought the issue as good for a special which gave a little more indepth idea of John's younger days.

 

Anyway I've got the Azzarello Hard Time trade, the first nine issues in Original Sins, and "Hold Me" in Gaiman's Midnight Days(?). Other than than those exceptions I've got the rest in issue form. The collection is now complete.

 

Anyone else have every Hellblazer issue?

Yes. All the originals* and worthwhile TPBs.

*Including all the spin offs and all Swamp Things except current series which I will no doubt buy from the 20p bargain bins in the future some time.

3) I can guess what "Has the penny dropped" means, but where does that phrase come from?  What did it literally mean to have a penny drop?

 

7) "Now, your brother and I have a little wager in train."  What does it mean to have a wager, or anything, in train?

 

9) "Nunc dimittis, Domine, servum tuum."  Now, Lord, you send away your slave?  That's as close to it as I could get with my very rusty Latin.

3) Coin operated machines. When the penny drops they start working. So when you understand this, the penny will have dropped.

7) I've not heard "in train" either, but underway makes sense.

9) Catholics. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11159a.htm

a-HA! that's where you are wrong, because it was not John but a representation of him inside the American Alec-Holland-Thing.

It is listed in the profanisaurus as "Spooge. (US)"

No.

I was looking at the Corben art on the first few pages and thought it looked nice.

It reads like someone trying to pretend to be Alan Moore and the merest idea that an entity at the heart of Swampy would take the form of Constantine in a bar (no apologies for the spoiler I am doing you all a favour here) is silly - especially when he uses the word "spuge".

I wonder if it was international Vertigo comics "Words about Spunk" month ?

Note to Vertigo: Swamp Thing is not going to get better by becoming an introspective soap opera.

Nice one, Mr Shirley. Roll on February.

Oh, and if Carey can get lambasted (rightly) for "[over-used word]bubble" at least he did not have american "spuge" dribbling from Constantine's lips.

Issue #20 in "best since #6 shock. Or at least good enough to persuade me to buy it and read it, whereupon I realised that it is an average Swampy Story, clearly intended to live in the gaps between Moore and Veitch's Saga tales.

And has the worst John Constantine that Corben's ever done.

No, you are wrong. Oslo is there several times, just north of the British Isles almost EXACTLY where it should be. (See attachment to follow)

Oh in that case, Steve Buscemi's "True" from The Wedding SInger

You're not looking obliquely enough.

Oslo's there, Red. You can even see it on the fully zoomed out world map !

Ade's winning at the moment, good work that man.

Not so weird, but The Earlies also do a damn fine version of "I must have been blind" and "Rainbow Connection" (yes, the kermit song).

The former has just been released on "Dream Brothers" a tribute to father and son rock casualties, Jeff & Tim Buckley.

Howe Gelb / Giant Sand do some of the best weird cover versions in the world.

"Iron Man" (Black Sabbath) and "King of the Road" for a start.

But don't ask me ...

http://www.coversproject.com/artist/giant%20sand

I'm expecting the picture to be fleshed out with colour, but part of me would not mind at all if they brought out six issues with similar art and a consistent logo (at the top, same colour etc) and a bit of cover copy that actually gets people to pick it up. Interesting that Lauren's style meshes nicely with Manco's interiors - which is something often overlooked in comics.

And HMV are currently valuing said "graphic novel" at £11, as they sell the "special" DVD (for special people) at £8.99 and the one with the comic at £19.99 (actually gone up a pound since release date !)

The PUNK: ATTITUDE dvd however, has two DVDs a reproduction of "Sniffin Glue" fanzine and the extra DVD has the full lenght interview with Henry Rollins !

DC should sue the bastard.

Or at least issue a cease and desist.

I feel sorry for the next child, Johnny Blaze Cage.

John's gay.

Since no-one at a comics con is going to buy this for the cover, "new writer, Denise Mina, who writes really good crime novels" would have been fair.

Of course, it's a Wizard event, so at least he reined in "HOT NEW CREATIVE TEAM - ONE OF THEM IS A CHICK!"

Incidentally "January's "Hellblazer #216" will feature a new creative team." again ?

They don't care what's going on do they?

 

Don't quite follow you there Ade, that's when the new creative team starts after Mike, right ?

Denise Mina and Leo Manco and that cover artist?

That's not acknowedging Manco's continuation, and smells of marketing to me.

But then it was Bob Wayne.

You were asking for it.

And you LOVE it.

(Note to English-speaking folks, yes, I know there are two possible readings of that, but you know which one I mean.)